**STORY SUBMITTED BY GISELLE F.**
For couples with pending nuptials, great sources of frustration are the anxiety to meet time restraints and packing your days full of wedding preparation, having unrealistic standards and undefined ideas of what you are specifically looking for. The first thing you should do is to sit down with your fiancé and discuss a budget that the you two will agree to, as well as what is important to you as individuals. Remember, this is an event to celebrate the union of two people, and both of your tastes should be reflected in the decision-making process. Handing him the reins of hunting for wedding bands or the ceremony’s officiant will lessen your load and, though the two of you can make the final decision as a team, he will feel that his voice has been heard and you can decrease your exertion.
On the other hand, if you find that your fiancé doesn’t care about corsage colors, don’t be offended! Come up with a general theme for your wedding that will help to guide your decisions during the planning process; on the flipside, be flexible when it comes to coordinating details, as the initial concept is meant as an inspiration and not a strict rule. Have a regimented schedule that spaces out the various steps of the wedding process so you are not having to do last minute scrambling and rudely barking at the workers you’ve hired and the friends you’ve taken hostage.
Attitude of Gratitude:
For months, you have been planning your wedding, dreaming about your wedding, talking about your wedding, worrying about your wedding . . . this is understandable, as your wedding is exciting. However, you cannot expect everyone else to share your thrill and dedication, and this especially holds true for your wedding party. While they might be overjoyed for your happiness, please remember that they probably are flinching at the idea of having to buy bridesmaids dresses and pitching in for bottle service at your over-the-top bachelorette party. So please, don’t be like this, and show some flexibility and gratitude towards members of your wedding party.
Before the insanity sets in, have a heart-to-heart with your maid of honor and ask her to be candid with you; give her full permission to let tell you when you act indignant and entitled. That being said, if she does once in a while kindly remind you that you earlier wanted to avoid your current behaviors, don’t turn your wrath on her and, instead, thank her for her honesty. Additionally, consult with your bridesmaids about their budgets before you select a significantly expensive outfit or pair of earrings that they are forced to buy. This is especially courteous when you are planning your bachelorette party, and possibly offer to pay your own way. Before you whine but this is my wedding, remember that you’re asking to them to spend their hard-earned rent money. Perhaps even giving them each a gift as a way of saying “thank you for spending hundreds of dollars on my big day.”
An attitude of gratitude should not only translate into your behavior but your overall outlook. You’ve found a person whom you love who wants to spend their rest of days with you . . . do you really want to soil that with memories of tantrums and hissy fits? Freak outs over miniscule details are both unattractive and unproductive, so keep a healthy perspective of what is truly important. One great way to do this? Volunteer for a few hours with those who are less fortunate than yourself; the self-centered drama of selecting floral centerpieces will (hopefully) not seem like the end of the world when you rub elbows with people with much more grave dilemmas.
Find Ways to Relax and Unwind:
Identify methods through which you can mentally remove yourself from stress; perhaps through bubble baths, yoga or even guided mediation tapes. Physical exercise is a fantastic way to burn off pent up energy and anxieties, though I suggest working out for the sake of breaking a sweat and feeling good. By aiming to drastically lose weight for your nuptials, you are adding unnecessary pressure, so don’t put strong emphasis on what the scale reads. When you get frustrated, don't take it out on other people and, instead, vent inside the pages of your journal. If writing isn’t your cup of tea, consider finding another creative outlets for your worries, whether it be painting or singing.
Another way not to get swept up in the pressure? Do something fun and silly every once in a while to remind yourself not to take this wedding and yourself too seriously. After all, remembering that this is supposed to be a fun, joyous affair will help you to accept an unavoidable truth: your wedding will not go exactly according to plan. Whether the unforeseen hitch is that the servers bring the food out late, guests cancel last minute or even the overly-windy weather, small curve balls will be thrown you way. You have two choices: roll with the punches and have a good time, or mourn the loss of your fairytale wedding and pouting. So, once again brides don't take everything so seriously and savor your big day.