Trust is NOT a Four Letter Word

I’m still in vacation mode, so this is gonna be short and not so sweet. I am pissed off and ready to FIGHT! I'm pissed because this bitch bride keeps putting my brain back in work mode while I’m supposed to be enjoying some boozy fun in the sun! But mostly I am super annoyed because I am like two shakes away from yelling, “WHY DID YOU HIRE ME IF YOU AREN’T GOING TO TRUST ME AND MY NETWORK OF VENDORS?” Seriously! What the FUCK?

Brideys, I feel like I am ninety years old, repeating myself 100 times because I don’t remember that I just said something. But I DO remember… Okay? And, I have said it several times; if you hire a planner, then hire them. Trust them. Trust their network. If I say that you are going to love a particular vendor, then I can tell you that there is a 99% chance that you will in fact love them. No need for “vendor research”, no need to look out of state (what??) and no more fucking whining about them because they didn’t get back to you within 12 hours. I mean wedding cake bakers are not on their fucking iPhone, obsessively checking their email, okay? You know why? Because they are baking fucking cake, that’s why! And your DJ? Yeah, he's MCing an event! So chill out!

Nobody is playing games with you. They are just busy. Just like you are a busy attorney with NO time for your wedding planning, your vendors are busy making cakes, creating floral arrangements, putting together albums, etc. And frankly, if I am not worried about their response time, then you shouldn’t be. I promise, I will let you know when it’s time to worry. Got it?

UGGGGGHHHHH! That’s all I got today. Please, leave me alone.

Rainbows and Unicorns

BRB... Gone Drinkin'