You know what? I have FUCKING had it!!! To say that I am appalled at the behavior I have witnessed tonight would be the fucking understatement of the year. Seriously, I have never had to suppress the urge to backhand a mother of the bride in my entire career until now. And, trust me; I have had some pretty awful MOBs, but tonight? Oh dear God.
Let’s talk about the bar at your wedding, shall we, bridey? Look, I have not made it a secret that I hate cash bars. That said, as a planner I’ve worked with clients who don’t have the means to purchase drinks for 150 of their closest friends and family members. These brides would rather spend their money on food and décor, and that’s just fine. I don’t have to like it, but I totally get it. But, on the flip side, bridey, if you choose to keep the bar open, then keep the fucking bar open and shut your fucking eyes. Don’t monitor each and every drink that is poured, drunk and then cleared by the staff. Don’t scrutinize the bartenders with your devil eyes (ahem… MOB). If you were at all concerned about the bar bill adding up, then you should have negotiated a per person package price for the booze BEFORE the wedding. Because a bar based on the number of beverages consumed can add up, and quickly.
“I don’t have a drinking crowd.” She said. Bullshit. Yes you do. Once your guests realize that they are not responsible for buying their own cocktails, you’re fucked. Because NOW, my dear, you have a drinking crowd. Somebody else is paying for their booze, so OF COURSE your guests are going to take full advantage! They’re going to drink their fucking faces off!
Annnnndddd…. Besides, scrutinizing the bartenders pouring abilities… You’re pissed because they accepted a tip? Fuck you. This is their livelihood! This is what they do to pay their rent! How dare you have the audacity to question it! Was there a tip jar? C’mon, that’s tacky. No. Was there a basket? Nope. Still tacky. Did some super smart gentleman drop a bill down ON THE BAR and quietly suggest that the bartender take care of him? Yup. Smart move if you ask me. Well, to say that the MOB did not like the bartender accepting tips “because I already paid him” is putting it lightly. Did she freak out? Yeah… And LOUDLY!
Know what she said about the bartender? Actually, know what she shouted loudly about the bartender during the cocktail hour? “I hate him. He is disgusting.” REALLY? You hate him. He’s disgusting? OMG. Quit projecting lady; you're the disgusting one. It's not up to you if your guests want to take care of the bartender(s) for taking care of them. You can't ask your guests not to give an additional tip, and you can't ask the bartender not to take it. 'Tis the nature of the business.
So, bridey, if you're going to provide an open bar for your guests at your wedding, then remember these two key points. AHEM... 1. It's DEFINITELY going to be more than you anticipated (if you did not go for a pre-negotiated per person beverage price). 2. Your bartenders will make additional tips. PERIOD. No basket or tip jar required. And if you don't like it, too bad. Keep your mouth shut, or better yet? Get a muzzle for your mother.
Image via Sweet Cocktails