The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Are You Waiting in Line or Enjoying the Ride? Some Perspective from a Very Perceptive Groom...

So, Eric, a super intuitive groom, emailed me and said that he'd written a post on his blog regarding the commercialization of weddings. And after I read his post; his perspective if you will, I fell in love with his idea that we are so busy waiting in line that we forget what we are waiting for... You see, bridey, he's currently engaged and wanted to share a bit about his perspective, as a groom (which we all see to dismiss most of the the time), about what he and his future wife, Leigh, are going through as they plan their wedding. His post begins as a dude watching USA hockey team duel Russia in the Winter Olympics.... I've underlined particular sections which I feel are so incredibly insightful that I needed them to stand out. 

Eric of The Sea Log:

I’m preparing for an Olympics of my own. My first, and hopefully last wedding (Leigh loves that joke).

I’m taking the big plunge into marital bliss. The world might not be watching, but the majority of my family and friends will be. So we have to make sure everything is perfect.

A wedding is stressful. So much thought, resources, and time go into planning one day*. Just like that, it’s over and we invade the Ukraine.

It’s troubling though. Somewhere along the line wedding planning dropped its trousers and took a big ol’ steroid shot of commercialism.

I’ve heard that people send out Save the Dates… not for the wedding, but to tell people that a Save the Date is coming.

Exsqueeze me?

I bet that Suit who invented Sweetest Day is pulling these levers.

I love my fiancé. I’m excited to marry her. I think about this quite a bit. I want it to be a great day that we remember for the rest of our lives, but I also don’t want to lose sight about what the marriage is actually about.

I don’t want to build up one day of wedding bliss and then business as usual a month later.

Life can feel like a busy theme park. We spend an hour in line for the coaster. Our anticipation grows as we imagine how great this 2 minute ride is going to be. Then it’s over and we get in line for the next thing.

At days end we stood in line talking about the future for 8 hours and shouted into the wind for 10 minutes.

I live in this theme park. Mostly in my head. The lines are really long too. Measured in years not hours and minutes.

  • Wedding day line – The girls always wear white in this line. Some strange tradition.
  • Buy a house line - No specific date on the calendar. It makes the line seems a lot longer than it is.
  • Start a family line - Currently as a single guy, this is like the line to the Haunted Catacombs. Scary anticipation greeted with screaming tears… mine not hers.
  • Save for kid’s college line - You got the point long before I ran out of analogies.

Eventually my theme park will close. When they board me up I hope I wasn’t standing in lines my whole life. Thinking about the next ride, instead of how I can make today awesome.

I told my fiancé we would do a weekend trip to Montreal as a little get away before the wedding. I said that before the Olympics started and have been busy standing in line since.

I think it’s time I got out of line for a little bit and remember that she’s the reason I’m standing here to begin with.

Au revoir.

*My fiancé has done 93% of the wedding planning.

A bit about Eric:

I proposed May 2013 to my girlfriend Leigh. We are getting married in Buffalo, NY in August 2014.  

We are very blessed to have great family structure on both sides that are helping out a tremendous amount. We kind of decided early on we are going to do our own thing and not stick to traditions for the sake of sticking to traditions.

The amount of decisions, stress, and timelines for one day can be overwhelming. From my experience planning a wedding is like buying a house in some ways. Supply and demand effect a lot.

You want a house in a nice neighborhood at a good price. It's going to go quick. In the same way good photographers, venues, DJs, limos, all book up quick because demand is so overly inflated.

The fact venues are booked years in advance doesn't even make sense unless we all did 5 year engagements. So I think that is my main beef. The over inflated sense of demand that leads to hectic decision-making. Do we really need to lock in a limo service 9 months in advance? 

The other thing that stinks is the price gouging effect when you tell them it’s for a wedding. Suddenly there is a 20% increase in price? Kind of crap if you ask me.

Other than that, it’s been awesome. My fiancée does a lot of it; I act more like a sounding board to distress her. I am really looking forward to the day of the wedding; everything else is a bit much for me.

Brideys! I I'd love to know a few things... First of all, do you feel that vendors in the wedding industry are price gouging? Secondly, are you waiting in line or enjoying the ride?

Image via Kevin Weinstein Photography

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