This is an unbelievable story. Seriously. Even I can't believe it... But, bridey, listen... I have to change a few of the details or else this client will absolutely know that I am talking about her. And considering what a crazy fucking bitch she is, I wouldn't be surprised if she hunted my ass down if she accidentally stumbled across this post! Cool? Great. Here it goes...
So, from inception, this client was somewhat of a pain in the ass. Like, she knew that she needed planning assistance (and, I was the lucky planner... probably because I was the only one to call her back), but raged against the machine from the very beginning. It was like she hated that she needed help. Not only was she was late to appointments, but when she finally did arrive, she wasn't really engaged during conversation. Between that bullshit and he missing scheduled phone calls, this bitch didn't pay me until the day of the event (seriously, I almost didn't show up myself!). So, there are the CliffsNotes. Now let's get to the meat.
Fast forward to the day of the event... I was pacing until I saw her (holding my fucking check!), and when I finally did, she was her usual unemotional, bitchy self. All I kept thinking is that I couldn't wait for the event to be over. And if you've gotten to know me at all, that's not my MO. I love seeing my events come together; all the hard work coming through to fruition is the best feeling in the whole world! Anyway... So, the event is going well, somewhat anticlimactic, and then somebody took a fall and smacked their head. YIKES!
The worst part? It was a kid. Yup. A fucking kid took a digger and smacked the back of her head while getting her groove on... I had hired some fantastic entertainment, and this kid was rockin' hard on the dance floor, and then fell... OYE! So, procedure at the venue was to call 911. Yes, a bit drastic, but considering it was a kid, I really had no objection if the EMTs checked her out, but... my client? This bitch wasn't happy. Whaaaaaa? A kid falls down (technically on your watch), and you are pissed that the venue calls 911? Wow, you're even more of a terrible person than I originally thought. OMG! What the fuck is wrong with you?
The EMTs were extremely discreet, and were in and out of the event (consulting the kid in a private area, of course) in about 15 minutes. In fact, the kid received a clean bill of health and went back onto the dance floor. After the dust settled, I was discussing the course of action taken with one of the managers at the venue when my client approached us complaining that "all of the excitement had cost her a half an hour of the party"... What? Are you fucking kidding me? Cost her? Know what would have cost her more than a half an hour of the party? A fucking lawsuit!! God forbid the kid wasn't alright, went home and slept on a concussion... Right? But, it cost her?
So, bridey, moral of the story? Be decent. Remember that your wedding is one day. One amazing, sensational, kickass day, and hopefully, nobody will fall down (especially a kid!), or require medical assistance, but if they do? I would like to think that your attitude will be more in check then my client. I mean... right?
Image via Stuff Point