I've written quite a bit about how to not be a bitch while planning your wedding, but it dawned on me that I haven't really touched on why it's so important not to be a bitch on your wedding day. Bridey, I think it's safe to say that your wedding day is filled with a tangled web of emotions; happiness, elation, excitement, fear, anxiety, etc.... All perfectly normal... And, sometimes when we're filled with that kind of emotion, it's easy to go one of two ways... Euphoria or bridaldemia, and it's up to you to choose the better of the two.
The reason I'm mentioning this? Well, after an extremely busy weekend filled with two weddings, and everything you can think of in between, I realized that my very lovely brides each took on one of the two aforementioned emotions. And, frankly, I was shocked. Both were super detailed oriented, although easy to work with during the wedding planning (they must be avid readers of BB), and both had relatively supportive families. So, what made one bride go batshit crazy on her wedding day and one continue to be her fabulous self? THAT is a good fucking question!
And while I don't have the answer, I can tell you who had a better wedding day experience. If you guessed bridey B, then you guessed right. Bridey B was relaxed and happy. She took in each and every moment of the day, totally let go of "wedding planning mode", and slipped into something much more comfortable, her wedding day. While Bridey A was argumentative with anybody who dared crossed her path. Honestly? It was strange; something I didn't see coming based on our planning experience.
So, bridey, I got to thinking about what can we do to alleviate Bridey A from presenting herself on your wedding day, and here's what I came up with:
1. Alcohol. Just kidding!! Well, sort of... I hate to admit that it was the first thing that came to mind! However, if you are careful not to get piss drunk, then there is nothing wrong with a cocktail as you are getting ready to walk down the aisle. Just be sure to nourish yourself with delicious food and plenty of water, and surround yourself with your favorite ladies!
2. Timing is everything. As a planner, I build a TON of extra time into the getting ready piece of the wedding day. I do this because inevitably there is always something (or someone) who will throw you off track, and there is nothing more stress inducing than being late. So, give yourself a lot of extra time.
3. Breathe. Seriously. What's done is done, bridey, so freaking out about the details on the day of your wedding will get you nowhere. Simply relax and breathe. Remember, that at the end of the day (quite literally), you will have gotten married to the man (or woman) you are going to spend the rest of your life with, right? How awesome is that? YAHOO! So, don't allow your anxiety and nerves to win. It will show through in your photographs, and for what? Shit that won't matter...
4. Let it go. Oh dear God. UGH! I just started singing that fucking song... But, perhaps Idina Menzel had a point. Bridey, you've got to let it go, and let yourself off of the hook. The wedding planning was the tough part, but it's over, and you made it! So, enjoy it! Be present because you deserve it! Take in each and every moment, because even though it took you a good year to plan this day, it will be over in a flash!
5. Liaise. Huh? Pick your most dependable friend or family member, and have her be your liaison. Have her field the inevitable plethora of questions that arise (mostly stupid shit, but enough to cause some stress) on your wedding day. She can tell Aunt Stupid where she's supposed to be and when for photographs, not you. She can give her cell to the limo driver to call when he's ten minutes away... Etc., etc.... You get my point!
6. Make it happen, bridey. Make yourself chill the fuck out. If you feel like you're spinning out of control, then slow your roll, grab the reins, and get your shit together. We've all had days where we refused to give into our panicked psyche, and pulled ourselves out of a rut. Right? So, do it, or forever hold your peace.
Got it? Good! Stay Bitchless!!
Image via Your Wedding Guide