I wrote this article for the Huffington Post in 2012, and I was inspired because of a particularly difficult bride I had the joy of working with, who literally drove me the brink of insanity. The reason I am sharing it with you today? Well, because in the last week I have heard several stories of brides behaving badly. Whining, complaining, and simply irritating the fuck out of everybody around them. I don't know if people tell me these stories because they know what I do, or what, but either way, I thought a simple reminder to QUIT BITCHIN' was in order... So, read up ladies!!
After an amazing weekend filled with rehearsal dinners, beautiful weddings, “morning after” brunches, everything hurts; everything aches; everything cracks. I feel like an old lady hobbling around looking for my cane. But, the worst pain? My head. And my head hurts from too much thinking, and over thinking, and even MORE thinking, and not from drinking (like I’m used to). Seriously... The funny thing? My head doesn’t hurt because of the lovely bride and groom from the wedding this past Saturday... It hurts from the endless emails and texts I received from my UPCOMING clients that either ask or say the most ridiculous crap. Simply whining about everything because they feel “so taken advantage of”, and their “patience for this wedding stuff is running thin”. Really?
If you missed my post last week on Bitchless Bride, I mentioned that I had an addiction. That I couldn’t stop “using”, and that no matter how hard I tried, I was simply “addicted to yes“. And while I openly admitted to my horrendous compulsion, to enabling my brides, and to just “making it happen”, I must state for the record that I hate that I do it. I hate that it’s EXPECTED for me to continue to “use”. But, I do have my limits, and because it’s only the beginning of the fall wedding season, I have to pace myself. But, I need your help brideys.
Seriously, I need for you to quit whining... Quit whining about all of the aspects of planning your wedding that we have no control over. Certain prices are fixed. Certain aspects are truly non-negotiable. And emailing me every second of the day isn’t going to change that. Because even I can’t “yes” my way to changing the industry “norm”.
Like your wedding dress alterations? Yeah, they’re expensive, and oftentimes non-negotiable. You know why? Because you’re literally paying somebody to rip apart your very expensive wedding dress (yeah, the one that you only get to wear once), put it back together, and make it perfect for your perfect wedding day. Okay? This won’t be cheap. And I’m sorry, but if you want those unbelievable flowers on your wedding cake that “look so incredibly real”, then yes, you have to pay extra for them. And no, you are not being punished.... You’re simply paying for a service. You’re paying for a product. And you’re paying for time. So get over it or don’t get it.
I mean, let’s get real people. I refuse to believe that you’d walk into Valentino or Burberry and ask WHY the amazing dress in the window is so expensive when you could just make it yourself. Or HOW COME the sunglasses don’t come with the dress. Really? Come on.... Please. So why are you constantly surprised when the wedding industry demands to be paid for quality and time? I’m tired of apologizing for what every other industry “gets away with”.
Brideys, the minute you got engaged, you signed on an invisible dotted line, and although you might not have realized it, you signed up for all of the shenanigans that go with planning your wedding. But seriously, like you didn’t know your wedding was going to be expensive? I don’t care if your budget is $10,000 or $100,000. A wedding is not cheap. Seriously, look at the numbers... The wedding industry is a 55 BILLION dollar industry (in the US)… PER YEAR. It didn’t get to be that way because everybody is working for free. It got that way because you are buying an experience; you are buying talent; you are buying memories. And you know what? It’s fucking expensive. That’s it. PERIOD THE END.
So quit whining about it! It is what it is. Just resign yourself to the fact that you’re part of it now. Resign yourself to the fact that you don’t have to like it; you just have to stop complaining about it.
Image via YouQueen