Wedding Planners

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ ***FLASHBACK*** A Heartfelt Confession from Your Overly Dedicated Wedding Planner

Sometimes I feel guilty when I post a FLASHBACK, but then I realize that if I already have a fantastic post, why reinvent the wheel? Right? I'm still getting my point across, and some of you haven't taken the time to go back and read everything I've ever written, so why the hell not? Anyway, bridey, absorb this one... This is like the worst thing you can do to a wedding planner, event manager (at a venue), etc. Everything worked out in the end (regarding my situation), but I still think back, and resent the hell out of the bride who asked me to jump through hoops when I was down for the count. Don't forget to check out the comments too!

May 26, 2015:

Perspective. There's that fucking word again. Ugh. Perspective. Sometimes even I hate that word because it really does shake the bullshit out of a situation and forces you to see the truth. And, as we all know, the truth really does hurt sometimes. Without giving too much away about myself, recently I went through somewhat of a difficult time, and although the dust has settled, I had the opportunity to reevaluate what's important in my life, and also, what's important your life too, bridey. Because as I was trying to get through my "situation", there was this one bride (who was aware of what I was up against), didn't care and nearly made me throw in the towel, quit wedding planning and search for what's next.

The most fucked up part of the story? This chick was done. Finito! She was married! She had her wedding, came back from her honeymoon and was "checking in" with me. Lovely, right? Well... No. It should have been, but it wasn't. And the crazy thing, is that her wedding day kicked ass. Every detail was executed perfectly, the family dynamics we were concerned about did not present themselves, and she (and her sig other) were quite thrilled with how the day went. So, why was she torturing me? What the fuck did she want? Well, the venue misplaced a few items. SMALL items. Easily replaceable items. And of course, she wanted me to go hunting and fight the fight. 

Really? You want ME to call the venue for you, and have them search for the cake knife and remaining ceremony programs (even though you have an extra box of them at your house)? Really? Bridey, you KNOW that I am in the middle of a personal crisis, and yet, you want me to follow up with the venue? WOW. Listen, I get that I orchestrated your event, handled all of the details and held your hand before sending you down the aisle. But, today, please... Either hold my fucking hand or call the chick at the venue yourself. It's not like you need me to get you thousands of dollars back for a shitty experience. You're asking me to care about a fucking cake knife, that you received as a gift... I mean... It's not a family heirloom, it's a gift from your registry. Deal with it... YOURSELF!

It was all I could do not to lose my shit and say exactly what I was thinking without exercising self control and filtering the bitch out of my voice. But, I did. And it was hard. Because, bridey, I hate to say it, but half of you will end up in divorce court, and you'll want to use that fucking cake knife to stab your sig other in the balls. And the other half of you? Well, you'll have your fair share of shit to deal with too. Real shit. Life or death shit. And that cake knife? You think you will still care about that stupid fucking cake knife? No, you won't. You will care about each other. You'll fight for each other. You'll fight the fights that are worth fighting for. You'll sleep on a chair next to hospital bed, and pray. Or maybe you'll sleep in a hospital bed, and pray for a brighter future. You'll learn that anything can happen at any moment, so appreciate what you have TODAY. Right? Kinda puts things into perspective, doesn't it?

Bridey, your wedding day is nothing more than a symbol of what's to come. I've thrown extravagant, over the top weddings, and I've thrown super simple weddings... And the ones I love the most? The weddings that represent the couple. The weddings that are heartfelt and see beyond the bullshit of "the day". These B+Gs get that their wedding day is only the first step towards whatever future they make of it together. Right?? So, now do you understand how little I care about that fucking cake knife? Can you see why that phone call had me thinking about what else I could possibly do with my life that didn't involve taking care of anybody else besides the people I love and myself?

Bridey, please... Let my confession be food for thought when you find yourself stressing over the stupid shit. In the end? It really doesn't matter. All that matters are the two of you...

Image via EngravingShop.com

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ The BEST Advice from the BEST Wedding Vendors in Boston!

Bridey, today's post is like hitting the jackpot of wedding planning. SERIOUSLY. If you are recently engaged or are in the midst of planning your wedding, stop what you're doing, and focus because you are about to be educated by the BEST in the wedding biz! I asked some of my absolute FAVORITE vendors in the Boston area to share the best piece of advice about planning a wedding, and these peeps? Well, they completely spilled the beans. I mean... There is so much wedding planning goodness in this post, that I could fucking chew it!!!

I rarely say cheesy shit like this, but this is a must read!! So, are you ready to learn? Ready to say, "Thank you, Bitchless Bride!!" Good! You're welcome! 

Wedding Planners:

When you are newly engaged, you tend to become inundated with information overload and it can be daunting to say the least.  My advice to newly-engaged couples is to forgo the route of hiring all of your vendors until you’ve secured the right, professional, experienced wedding planner. Some couples feel it’s best to hire a “day of” coordinator and do the rest themselves, only to learn how much money could have been easily saved by avoiding costly mistakes and uneducated decisions along the way. The right planner should be your guide, your educator, your confidant, your representative along the way and you need to put your trust into this person as they do this every day and truly look out for your best interests from the start. 

Paula Marrero ~ Marrero Events 

My advice to new brides: Don't panic, it's all overwhelming at first but it's important to book the top 3 first-top priorities (if you're not working with a planner) are to find your venue, photographer and band--then breathe!  I also advise brides to wait to design the space until about 6 months before the wedding... You'll be able to have a couple months thinking about ideas, pinning on Pinterest , etc... I find that so many of my clients go in with one idea and once they've relaxed and see what is out there or trending in their wedding year they change their idea of what their wedding looks like--so ultimately they get what they want instead of what they thought they wanted--big difference! 

Amy Kimball ~ Amy Kimball Events 

Invitations:

Invitations are the introduction of your wedding to your friends and family; they set the tone for the event. You can’t just get a quote as there are a lot of factors to consider such as quantity, quality, type of inserts, type of print, etc. There is a lot more involved then most people realize. So, plan accordingly.

Mara Weiner ~ Allure Invitations

Cake:

Be your own "bride" ...don't worry about what family, in-laws, friends & co-workers want for YOUR WEDDING. Follow what YOU have wanted & dreamed about. 

Paula Kirrane ~ Icing on the Cake

Entertainment:

Once your venue is booked, the next step is to lock in your entertainment. In order to get the best DJ or band out there, you have to book well in advance. Remember, first and foremost? Your guests are going to remember if they had a good  time. That’s why good entertainment is vital.

Always ask your entertainment vendor about their other recommended services. This is how you get the best deals without making a laundry list of phone calls. They may already have what you need and could save you time and money without sacrificing quality.

Mike Amado ~ Entertainment Specialists

Photographers:

Lately couples are asking me if they should do the "first look". My answer is always YES! The first reveal is always so sweet. The moment is far more emotion and allows for a more intimate/private moment with just the couple. 

Some brides envision this grand moment when they are walking down the aisle, and the groom is sobbing… However, in reality, in a traditional formal setting with 200 people looking at you… The groom often looks like a deer in head lights. Not at all the magical moment you think it will be! So yes, do a first look! 

Lauren Killian ~ Person + Killian Photography

Don’t do a winter e-session! People look freezing, and are super uncomfortable. Nothing like having dirty snow and branches coming out of everyone's heads! Wait until the spring when the temperatures are higher, and the trees start to bloom. I highly suggest April-November.

~ Anonymous Photographer

Cinematography:

1. Make sure that your photographer and videographer work well as a team. Even better, choose a team where your photographer and videographer have worked together and enjoy the experience.

2. Ask your prospective wedding film maker how they operate during the wedding day. Will they have lights on their cameras? Will they be on the dance floor circling the couple during the first dance? Will they stand behind the officiant during the ceremony - Or will they stake out spots based on experience and fade into the decor?

3. Ask your toasters to limit toasts to under 5 minutes. 3 is even better. There’s not much they can say (that won’t be dumb or embarrassing) after a couple of minutes.

4. Invite your guests to leave their phones and cameras in their pockets or purses. You’re paying for pros to document your wedding - don’t let the amateurs get in the way!

5. When considering wedding cinematography, check out the sound  as well as the images of potential pros. Capturing pristine sound of your grandfather’s blessing and knowing how to integrate it with music and image, is a complex art form. Don’t settle for pretty pictures if you already have a photographer you love. When it comes to film making, sound is 60% or more.

6. If you desperately want a top notch film maker to capture your wedding, and have a limited budget, consider one of the following:

a. Grab pics from the HD / 24 Frames per second of the video capture and forego the photographer.

b. Hire the film maker you want and see if you can work out a payment plan that works for you.

c. Opt for the best film maker you can afford, ask them to produce a short highlights now, and wait until you’ve financially recovered to have them edit the feature film.

Naomi Raiselle ~ Generations Cinemastories 

Florist:

The Best way to trim your budget is to trim you guest list (it literally makes every line item more affordable - period, the end)! (AMEN!!!!!!)

If you "absolutely love and have to have peonies" - know that you absolutely MUST select a wedding date in May or early-June!

Bring as few people to each and every appointment that you book ... the less opinions, the less stressed out you will be!

~ Anonymous Florist

And there you have it... You're welcome, bridey!!! Now, all you have to do is listen to the professionals trying to help you.

Image via The Perfect Job

Fantasy Friday ~ When a Wedding Planner Gets Married...

When a wedding planner gets married, odds are, the wedding is going to be fucking amazing. And Shanna and Josh's wedding? A MAZ ING! Like, soooooo gorgeous, and soooooo warm that I cannot wait for you to scroll down and see the exquisite décor! Bridey, you know that I am a HUGE fan of uplighting, and Shanna's pink and ivory palette is simply beauteous. For real... Don't forget to light your wedding!

BTW... See Shanna's dress? The hint of pink? The ball gown? Isn't it stunning?! OMG, if I told you all of the amazing details of the B+G's wedding, then I'd be wasting your time. I mean, why talk about it when you can just scroll down and see for yourself? So, go... Enjoy this beautiful wedding!
The dress and the bling... Yes, please!Shanna, you look beautiful in that incredible gown and jewels!Let's go!!!Josh! I LOVE how you're looking at Shanna! (Nice dimples, too!)Great sunglasses!!I mean... Talk about a glowing bride....Totally love that their wedding was at a tapas restaurant!Those are sparkly Christmas ornaments which doubled as place cards. I mean... Talk about a fantastic wedding favor! Okay. Ready, bridey? Look down!!RIGHT? Could this room be any more romantic or beautiful? The linen, the lighting, the flowers! OH MY!!
Magnificent cake! And the room, glowing...Sniff... Sniff...Thank you for sharing your absolutely stunning wedding with Bitchless Bride!!!

Industry Peeps:

Photographer, Cinema & Video:  A Magic Moment Photography and Video
Reception Venue: Ceviche Tapas Bar and Restaurant
Floral Designer: RAINING ROSES PRODUCTIONS INC.
Event Planner: Weddings Unique

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ When the Bride Knows More Than Her Planner... REALLY??

I had to share this vendor vent with you, bridey. And, I had to put it front and center because I think it's safe to say that pretty much every wedding planner I know gets frustrated when the bride (or the couple) thinks she knows more than her planner. It's irritating. It's annoying. It's fucking grounds for dropping you as a client. Seriously, bridey, don't bother hiring a wedding planner if you're going to challenge her/his every move. Do it yourself. Be a DIY bride, and I'm not talking about making your own centerpieces; I'm talking about planning your own damn wedding.

Written by Mrs. Peacock:

Hello! OK, so, I love your blog. As a planner, I feel like it should be required reading for all my brides and grooms. (Ahem... Me too!!) Thanks for giving us vendors a place to commiserate.

Anyways, one of your posts - Bridey, Don't Go Away Mad, Just Go Away!, really resonated with me.

Yes. So. Many. Times. Yes.

How I wish I followed this advice and my own intuition with my last bride + groom. You know those couples who think that they know how to plan a wedding better than their planner does? They often go hand in hand with the my wedding has to look exactly like this million dollar wedding but at a tiny fraction of the price couple? And so often, throughout the planning, you know that these people are going to find reason to be upset about something, so what's the point in bending over backwards to try to make them happy? The type that treat you like you are their personal assistant that they have always wanted to have just to abuse? The ones who flat out refuse to listen to your (and all the other vendors!) skilled advice, and then when things don't go according to plan (just as you told them it would) precisely BECAUSE of their own ill advised choices, they berate you for it? Yeah, it was one of those couples.

I knew I should've walked away in the early stages but I didn't because -and here's the kicker- they were friends of mine. Friends of mine who had hidden the entitled vicious privileged brat side of them very well over the years. Friends of mine who clearly viewed the roles of Bride and Groom as tyrannical King and Queen. And yes, I've learned my lesson working with friends now. But the point is, had I just walked away from what was clearly going to be a losing situation, I could've saved myself a lot of stress, time, heartache, and unfortunately, a friendship.

- Mrs. Peacock

***

Basically, bridey? If you hire a wedding planner, then it's up to you to decide to trust her/him. Make a conscious choice to trust her/him, just as you would with any other professional you hire in any other aspect of your life. If not, then plan it yourself.

Image via Friar Tux Shop

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ A Heartfelt Confession from Your Overly Dedicated Wedding Planner

Perspective. There's that fucking word again. Ugh. Perspective. Sometimes even I hate that word because it really does shake the bullshit out of a situation and forces you to see the truth. And, as we all know, the truth really does hurt sometimes. Without giving too much away about myself, recently I went through somewhat of a difficult time, and although the dust has settled, I had the opportunity to reevaluate what's important in my life, and also, what's important your life too, bridey. Because as I was trying to get through my "situation", there was this one bride (who was aware of what I was up against), didn't care and nearly made me throw in the towel, quit wedding planning and search for what's next.

The most fucked up part of the story? This chick was done. Finito! She was married! She had her wedding, came back from her honeymoon and was "checking in" with me. Lovely, right? Well... No. It should have been, but it wasn't. And the crazy thing, is that her wedding day kicked ass. Every detail was executed perfectly, the family dynamics we were concerned about did not present themselves, and she (and her sig other) were quite thrilled with how the day went. So, why was she torturing me? What the fuck did she want? Well, the venue misplaced a few items. SMALL items. Easily replaceable items. And of course, she wanted me to go hunting and fight the fight. 

Really? You want ME to call the venue for you, and have them search for the cake knife and remaining ceremony programs (even though you have an extra box of them at your house)? Really? Bridey, you KNOW that I am in the middle of a personal crisis, and yet, you want me to follow up with the venue? WOW. Listen, I get that I orchestrated your event, handled all of the details and held your hand before sending you down the aisle. But, today, please... Either hold my fucking hand or call the chick at the venue yourself. It's not like you need me to get you thousands of dollars back for a shitty experience. You're asking me to care about a fucking cake knife, that you received as a gift... I mean... It's not a family heirloom, it's a gift from your registry. Deal with it... YOURSELF!

It was all I could do not to lose my shit and say exactly what I was thinking without exercising self control and filtering the bitch out of my voice. But, I did. And it was hard. Because, bridey, I hate to say it, but half of you will end up in divorce court, and you'll want to use that fucking cake knife to stab your sig other in the balls. And the other half of you? Well, you'll have your fair share of shit to deal with too. Real shit. Life or death shit. And that cake knife? You think you will still care about that stupid fucking cake knife? No, you won't. You will care about each other. You'll fight for each other. You'll fight the fights that are worth fighting for. You'll sleep on a chair next to hospital bed, and pray. Or maybe you'll sleep in a hospital bed, and pray for a brighter future. You'll learn that anything can happen at any moment, so appreciate what you have TODAY. Right? Kinda puts things into perspective, doesn't it?

Bridey, your wedding day is nothing more than a symbol of what's to come. I've thrown extravagant, over the top weddings, and I've thrown super simple weddings... And the ones I love the most? The weddings that represent the couple. The weddings that are heartfelt and see beyond the bullshit of "the day". These B+Gs get that their wedding day is only the first step towards whatever future they make of it together. Right?? So, now do you understand how little I care about that fucking cake knife? Can you see why that phone call had me thinking about what else I could possibly do with my life that didn't involve taking care of anybody else besides the people I love and myself?

Bridey, please... Let my confession be food for thought when you find yourself stressing over the stupid shit. In the end? It really doesn't matter. All that matters are the two of you...

Image via EngravingShop.com

Fantasy Friday ~ An Outdoor Winter Ceremony on a Candlelit Mountain Top

Look how beautiful!!! Seriously, could ya' bust? Totally reminds me of my fantasy bachelorette party post!! Now, imagine getting married on a mountain top, and then partying the night away at this beautiful venue. Right? Can I get a, "fuck yeah"?!! Seriously, talk about a memorable evening (or weekend!)! And, know what I absolutely love about Jessi (and Nick)? This girl had the balls to get married outside (as in host the ceremony outside!!) in March! WOW! That's pretty impressive and unique! Although, when you see all the incredible deets, bridey, you won't be too surprised.  

Pepper, with Pepper Nix Photography, (my new FAVE and FAB photographer!) asked the bride quite a few questions about her wedding plans, overall experience, etc. My favorite? Scroll down and see Jessi's advice for future brides.... Clearly, Jessi was a Bitchless Bride! Enjoy! 

Hello GORGEOUS canary diamond... WOW!!!I love this photograph...OBSESSED with the shoes and the gold toes!Why a Mountain Wedding? Nick and I love to ski. It is something we have been doing since we were very young. Additionally, when we first started dating it was something we did together several times a week. We also love, love, love the mountains, fresh air, and fantastic perspective their majesty brings!

Lovin' the ass grab!I love the wedding dress and the snow boots!I had all my bridesmaids pick their own dresses. I told them blue, above the knee, and no sleeves. They all picked out dresses that were incredibly flattering and somehow it worked out. Additionally they all wore printed black tights. I bought them coats and boots to keep them warm. One of my bridesmaids, Christina, made muffs (instead of flowers) and we all had a fantastic time making crass poses with them. (HA! Obviously, BB LOVES this!)

So so so cute! What brand new elements did you bring to the day? Getting married outside in the snow. The planner was a bit apprehensive, but I stuck to my guns and am glad I did.Best pic ever!! Did you follow that tradition and if so, what did you use? Yes, yes, yes...Old was my mothers ring in my bouquet, new was my dress, borrowed was ring from my aunt Ginny that she wore on her wedding day, and blue was my shoes.

Any advice you have for future brides? Take a deep breath when you are up front and look at everyone who is supporting you. Two, don't get so caught up in the details that you forget what you are doing, joining two people together. Three, surround yourself with people you love...don't be obligated to invite people or put people in your bridal party who you don't want there. Four, hire someone to do things the day of...it was the best decision we made. Five, make a weekend of it. We did a pub crawl on Friday night and it was so fun. We had many activities and stayed together, so it felt like a vacation!

Look at this room, bridey! OMG! So warm and beautiful without being overdone!Such a romantic couple!What did you serve? A sit-down plated dinner of our signature pistachio nut encrusted Utah trout with local wild mushroom and truffle mashed potatoes, grilled filet mignon and a vegan friendly grilled polenta cake napoleon with a smoked tomato puree. We wanted something less traditional, so we opted for a brown cake with swirls. Honestly, Nick and I were hanging out with my aunt and she asked us a couple questions about what we liked and what we absolutely didn't want. In the end we told he she had complete creative control and the cake was deish! So many people came up to us and told us it was the best cake they had ever had, maybe it was because there was no fondant! 

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Bridey, Don't be Mental... 10 Behavioral Characteristics to Avoid While Planning Your Wedding

The other day, I tweeted that I've been brunching so much that I really think I am subconsciously aspiring to be a "lady who lunches". But, how could I leave all of this? (I say super sarcastically...) Leave all of you? I mean, what would my life be like without you crazy bitch brideys? The truth is, I couldn't leave planning (and know how to function). And, that fact became brutally clear to me during brunch yesterday as I was surrounded by some of my favorite peeps in the whole wide world. Actually, not the whole wide world, but in my world; "the industry". You see, all of us work in hotels or private planning and deal with the craziness of the hospitality culture, the constant need to say "yes", and the brutal hours. But, as we got to talking it became clear to me what I needed to write about today. You! And, your cray cray attitude.

Bridey, based on the anecdotes and sheer hilarity that took place during brunch, I thought I would give you a few tips on how not to be mental while planning your wedding! So, here it goes...:

10 Behavioral Characteristics to Avoid While Planning Your Wedding:

1. Entitlement: Bitch, please... I don't work for you; I am attempting to work with you. I am your vendor. I am the chick busting my ass at a fancy hotel, or country club or I'm a private event planner, photographer, DJ or or or... And all I am trying to do is help you achieve "the dream". So, knock off the bullshit, drop the entitlement, and let me do my job... Without hating you. Trust me, nothing pisses us off more than some bitch who thinks she is better than the rest of the world. You'll get more out of your vendors if you're nice. PERIOD.

2. Moodiness: Look, we're women... And, I've heard that we tend to get a bit moody when we're stressed. Right? But, as your vendor, I am not your punching bag or your Xanax. And you know what? I can be just as moody as you, bridey, but I have mastered the concept of "faking until I make it". Have you?

3. Perfectionism: I strive for perfection too (um, I'm what they call super detail oriented), bridey, but I also know when my best is good enough. And, I suggest you start learning how to do the same. It's really amazing, but you can have the "perfect" wedding day, and still have shit go wrong. Seriously, I think every single recently married bride will tell you the same thing. And, I know that with the amount of money you're spending, comes pressure for perfection, but please remember, above everything else, comes the person you are marrying...

4. Irrationalism: Do I really need to say more? Bridey, when you feel yourself starting to go off of the deep end, go for a walk, workout, get your nails done or whatever... Basically? Take a break and use the time to think things through. I promise, the craziness will pass if you give it chance. But, you gotta give a little.

5. Procrastination: Procrastination fucks us all up. Your wedding vendors, that is. Bridey, if you procrastinate, then it slows down the entire process for all of your wedding vendors. It's a total domino effect, and it all starts with you. For instance, if you need to make a decision regarding your floral arrangements, do it. Now. If not, you may not get what you want on your wedding day. And, then you put your florist in the position to rush an order or feel as though she is harassing the bride. Not good. (And, not for nothing, but, if you're renting linen, a lot will depend on your arrangements, etc., hence the domino effect...)

6. Indecisiveness: Indecisiveness can be just as annoying as procrastination. It's like you're procrastinating because you're indecisive, and, that's fucking annoying.

Real Wedding Wednesday ~ A Gorgeously Awesome, Deliciously DIY, Downton Abbey Inspired, Philly Wedding

Meet Laila and Stephen, the B+G. I think you can tell by the photograph that they are super fun, laid back and are perfectly suited for each other. I mean... that's what happens when you know each other for eleven years before you start dating and ultimately get married. Right? Wow! That's some serious courting!!

But, bridey, there is so much to this wedding, that I really want to get right to it. Grace Winter, with the talented Asya Shirokova Photography, asked the bride and groom some FAB questions which are incorporated within the post. So enjoy, and get inspired!

The dress, where did it come from? My dress was purchased at David’s Bridal. Finding the dress was a bit of a process and we visited variety of types of stores – Lovely Bride boutique, second hand wedding dress store and David’s Bridal. It was important for me to understand the differences and opportunities there might be by investing time and patience in finding my dress.
Who planned the wedding? Steve and I did most of the planning, however, friends and bridal party were a huge help. We hired a day of coordinator (who is an old family friend and daughter duo) who helped think through all the last minute day of needs. This was one of the best decisions we made as they were incredibly helpful and dealt with all the last minute details of the event.

How did you meet? We met at Drexel University and were brought together by mutual friend. We would hang out often, share in the simple joys of listening to records, take road trips and even saw our City’s beloved Veterans Stadium implosion together. We were great friends, which blossomed over 11 years before we started dating.
Who did your flowers? The bridal party flowers were designed by a local florist called Falls Flowers. I became close to the owner through an old job and she was delightful in working through all the creative elements of floral design.

The tables and surrounding area flowers were all put together by my mother and her sisters from Brazil. They chose red roses for the tables as they were my grandmother, their mother, favorite flower and it was a great way to remember and symbolize her presence with us.

We had many DIY projects. Since Stevo works at a brewery, we had access to interesting resources to help customize our day. We made several signs from wood pallets (Welcome the wedding, photobooth and smoking section).
Do you have a tip for other couples that are currently planning their weddings? Realize the things that you care about and stick to your guns. Your family will have opinions in how the day will go. Pick your battles and know when to stick to stand up for things that really matter to you. They will respect you more in the end.

Get a day of coordinator! You don’t want to deal with all the minute details, get someone who will stick up for you. We hired a family friend and it was ideal in that they got the job done and had a great time with our family/friends.

Where did the cake come from? Why this cake flavor or design? What makes this cake unique? Our cake was baked by a family friend, Susan, who has a passion for baking and hopes to open her own bakery someday. She was kind enough to offer her talent to us and created a beautiful and delicious three tiered vanilla and coconut cake.

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Designing My Dream Bride

The other day, a friend of mine asked me who my dream bride would be. Huh? Of course, I immediately asked if she was serious or if she was fucking with me. She assured me that she was dead serious, and then said, "if you could design your dream bride, what would "she" be like?" Oooooooo.... This was getting interesting! Right? If nothing else, it certainly got me thinking... What DOES my dream bride look like? And, with Christmas just a few days away, and millions impending proposals and engagements on the horizon, the timing of her question seemed appropriate. Just think... If even just 90% of you, brideys, read this post right after your engagement, then my job is done! So, here it goes... Bitchless Bride's Dream Bride:

1. My dream bride would remember who she was before she got engaged! Kinda the whole point of my blog, right? Just because you're engaged, doesn't give you the right to be a bitch. Remember, what you put out there is what you'll get back. So, bridey, if you're nice to people (vendors, bridesmaids, etc.), then they will be nice to you. They will do nice things for you. They will go out of their way for you. However, if you are a total bitch, then you'll get the bare minimum from those around you. Seriously, why would your bridesmaids go out of their way for you if they are beginning to hate you? Same goes for your vendors. If you treat them like shit, why should they go above and beyond? Right? Consider this a fact.

2. My dream bride would remember WHY she wanted to get married in the first place... Um, the dude or the chick your want to spend the rest of your life with... Your sig other! PERSPECTIVE!! See the girl in the picture? She's happy! And, you should be too! You're marrying the love of your life!! (And if you're not, then that's a whole other blog post!)

Bridey, I eloped, and I know that eloping isn't for everybody, but all I could think of at the time was that I loved my hus, and we had a shitload of family dynamics that could have presented themselves at the worst possible time. But, no matter what? I wanted to be with the dude. So, even if we had stuck to the plan and had a big wedding, all I wanted was him...

3. My dream bride would treat people with respect (friends, family, vendors). Piggybacking off of number one... Don't be a bitch. Treat people with respect. It's so simple and basic (human decency), and yet oftentimes it gets lost when the wedding planning gets stressful or emotions become extreme. Just remember to breathe, bridey, and be nice. It will be well worth it!

4. My dream bride would trust me (and all of the other professionals she hired) unequivocally. She would trust that if we are working together, that I know what I am doing, and let me do it. Don't get in my way. Don't think that because your maid of honor (MOH) got married a month ago that we should listen to her (or whothefuckever). Just let me take your dream, and run with it (with established boundaries, of course)!

5. My dream bride would skip the micromanaging bullshit. Again, you have to trust me, and let me present you with the applicable details. Bridey, your vendors are not going to share the nitty gritty with you, and honestly, you don't want to know all of the behind the scenes shit that you are missing. Just back off,

Fantasy Friday ~ Just a "Typical" Story of Girl Meets Boy Doing Good Work in Ecuador

I was completely drawn to this gorgeous wedding because as cheesy as it sounds, I can feel the love and happiness emanating through the screen. From Emily's cool pink wedding dress to the mismatched, mint bridesmaid dresses, and a amazing floral crown, this wedding is totally princess meets hippie with an insanely awesome sense of humor. Considering that Christian and Emily met at a pseudo bullfight in Ecquador (Christian was looking after the animals and Emily was a volunteer), it's safe to say that they bonded over their mutual love for animals. I mean, c'mon... One of their dogs was the ring bearer!! Right?? Did I mention that she is wearing a tutu, rockin' bright red painted nails, and the rings were safely attached to her collar? STFU!

I will let Emily take it from here... But, bridey... Please pay close attention to Emily's advice to future brides. All I'm gonna say is that I've been preaching it all along! 

How did you meet?: I met Christian while working in Ecuador for the non-profit Manna Project International. The day we met we were both volunteering with the Red Cross at a pseudo-bullfight. Christian was serving as the medical head that day and I was just another confused gringa volunteer. Our first "date" was on my 24th birthday when he accompanied a group of crazy gringos on a party bus around Quito.(Surprisingly, he stuck around after this belligerent event and that's when I knew he was a keeper. And the rest, as they say, is history...)

The theme of llamas throughout the day represents his home country of Ecuador (and her family), and the llamas they have rescued (and care for) over the years.

A MAZ ING pic! Amazing!!! 

I can't... It's too good. It's too cute... 

A little or a lot about your proposal...: Christian proposed on the top of a mountain in Vilcabamba, Ecuador. Surrounded by beautiful countryside and gasping for air (the hike was no easy feat), he asked me to marry him :)

What was your absolute "must have"?: A floral crown - my parents were total hippies so I'm a flower-child at heart. (Holy shit. Emily! Your crown is stunning!)

Any advice for other Brides?: If you can afford it, hire a wedding planner! Planning a wedding is a huge undertaking and you don't want to get bogged down with the prep and not be able to enjoy the months leading up to it. I started from 'zero' while wedding planning, knowing absolutely nothing about the process, so I feel I could have saved a lot of time working with someone who was knowledgeable in the field. (Ahem... Even if you hire somebody to help you manage the day, it will be a tremendous relief!)

Also, let Pinterest become your best friend - it is a great resource to discover what you like/what you don't like and what vision you have for your wedding. It's your day, make it reflect you as a couple!

What made you choose your ceremony and reception venues?: For a while now I had imagined my wedding at my childhood home. It's out in the country - beautiful scenery and llamas, what more could you ask for?! The reception was a unique situation because we actually won a radio auction! We got the venue, dinner, bar, and basic decor for like a 50% discount, AMAZING! (Um, HOLY SHIT!! That's fantastic!!)

Enter the ring bearer... That adorable dog in a tutu, is carrying the wedding rings on her collar!What was the most memorable moment from your wedding?: The ceremony in general, especially our vows. We did them in Spanish but had them printed in English for our guests to follow along. Our officiant was bilingual, which was really special as well.

What was your biggest challenge to overcome while planning?: Time management - I would become really focused on such a silly, minute detail and forget about the big picture. (Yet, another reason why hiring a wedding planner is helpful!) 

Did you use any blogs for inspiration? If so, which one/s?: Green Wedding Shoes was my absolute favorite! All the weddings were unique and special in their own way. (One of BB's faves too!!)

OMG! Love this idea!!! This girl loves reese's too!

Notice the dress change?! GORGE!

Thank you for sharing with BB (and letting all future brides learn from you!!).

Industry Peeps:

Photographer: Oldani Photography
Veils & Headpieces: BHLDN
Photo Booth Equipment: Big Smile Photo Booth
Bakery: McArthur's Bakery
Tuxedo & Mens Attire: Men's Wearhouse
DJ: Now That's a DJ
Specialty Foods: Red Sprinkles Cookies
Bridesmaid Dresses: Shop Ruche
Invitation Designer: SplashofSilver
Floral Designer: Walter Knoll Florist
Caterer: Windows Off Washington

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Why it's Important to Hire a Wedding Planner

You know how I perpetually say that wedding planning always comes together in the end? Well, I lied. Wedding planning always comes together in the end if you have a fucking fabulous wedding planner like me, but if you don't, then you might be in some trouble. So, for all of you "newbies" or newly engaged brides, sit down and listen to me. Actually, why don't all of you, brideys, have a seat. Because after this past weekend, I clearly have some more educating to do.

It's no secret that I am a big fan of hiring a wedding planner to orchestrate your wedding plans. Be it a wedding planner who will help secure all of the details from start to finish or a "day of" wedding planner who jumps in a few weeks to a month prior to the big day, or a something in-between the two, but allow me to say it again. BRIDEY, HIRE A WEDDING PLANNER! Just do it. You know why? Because I single-handedly saved a wedding this past weekend. I did. Go me.

Okay... So I am being a touch melodramatic, but here's what happened. I was working with a truly amazing couple. Really, I swear, I'm not writing this with an ounce of sarcasm! Anyway, they were so amazing that several guests wanted to say a few words (or many, many words) about this amazing couple, and as lovely as that was, it was fucking up my perfectly sculpted timeline of events for the evening. And the DJ kept allowing these people to take the mic without clearing it with me first (great guy, but not in my network of trusted vendors)... NOT COOL! 

Most of you probably don't think that this is a big deal. I mean, what's wrong with guests who wish to take the mic for a few? Well, it becomes a chain reaction.

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Five Ways to Get the Most out of Your Wedding Planner

It seems like every wedding planner I speak to during this insanely busy time tells me the same thing… “OMG, I really love this bride, but…” Or, “This fucking bride is driving me crazy because...” So, because I really, truly want to help YOU, bridey, get the most out of your wedding planner, be it the one you’ve hired independently or the catering manager you’re working with at a hotel or resort, I thought it would be helpful if I shared a few of these… hmmm… “insights” so that you can get the absolute best out of your planner, and not have her (or him) hate you.

Here it goes:

1. Don’t be a micromanager. Just don’t do it. Bridey, I know that some of you have great big jobs that require you to be in control of a large team or an enormous budget, etc., and that’s fantastic. But, please don’t let that spill over into MY domain. The reason I'm in charge is because you don’t know shit about planning a wedding, and I do. Listen, bridey, I'm not telling you something you didn't already know! Right?? So, let me do it! Stop trying to control me! Wedding planning is MY full time job, so please, give me some room to do it. I mean... You are well aware of this fact because you are the one who hired me. So, back off… Let me handle the details without having to run each decision by you first.

2. Don’t be a penny pincher when it comes to paying me! When the penny pinching begins, I seriously want to bang my head against the wall… HARD! It tells me that you clearly have no idea just how much I am doing for you, and dammit, I deserve to get paid for the four hours I spent attending an “emergency planning meeting” with your mother.

3. Don’t confuse me for your therapist. I love to listen. I really do, but

Real Wedding Wednesday ~ Help! BB's in the Weeds!

Ever hear of the phrase I'm "in the weeds?" You know... When you're so busy that you can't see straight? Urban Dictionary describes it like this: "when someone or something, usually in the food or beverage industry, becomes overwhelmed and falls behind." Well, that's currently where I seem to be residing. In the fucking weeds. Yup! I'm busy. I'm busting my ass, and I don't have the time or energy to put together a real wedding that would be worthy of showing you, so I am choosing not to... Sooooo, come visit "Real Wedding Wednesday" on Friday.

Adios!

Image via Ion Interacrtive

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Wedding Planning Breakdown

I know this may surprise you, but shockingly I don't have all the answers. I can't tell you why sometimes people can be complete assholes, only that it feels fucking fantastic to put them (assholes) in their place. I can't tell you why certain vendors can be just as diva-like as certain brides, only that I've learned to take care of them (or else). But, what I can tell you with absolute certainty is that it is in your best interest to hire a wedding planner. In any capacity...

And yes, we've covered this a million times before. And yes, I sometimes feel like I and say and write this shit and nobody listens, but lately I am starting to think that maybe you really are listening. Because within the pile of emails I receive daily with questions about wedding planning, ceremony ideas, terrible bridesmaids, etc., recently I have been getting quite a few emails about hiring a wedding planner. For instance:

"I have a quick question regarding wedding planners, I know what full coordination service entails; but what does "Wedding Day Coordination" generally include? Also, what does "Consultation only" include? I am considering hiring a planner, but if it is not in my budget, is consulting with a planner then hiring them for the day of a viable option?"

Allow me to break it down for you, but please note that each wedding planner works independently, and what I perceive as wedding day coordination (or month of coordination), another planner may completely differently than me:

Wedding Day Coordination or Month of Coordination:

What a Year! BB's Year in Review...

What an incredibly wonderful and crazy year it's been for BB! I was just tidying up my files on my Mac, (something I should do more often) and as I was cleaning up, I started thinking about how much I have accomplished in 2012! I mean between wedding planning, Bitchless Bride and writing for OneWed and HuffPost Weddings, I am absolutely amazed at how much I have done. No wonder why I'm so fucking exhausted! All in good fun though... 

Take a peek at some of my faves of 2012:

There was Tick Tock on the Clock... Yeah, that was before anybody was really reading BB!! Too bad too... This particular post is quite educational for all of you brideys out there! 

 And one about my favorite bride... Oops!! She got lipstick on her dress before her ceremony, and laughed it off! I know, right??

The Bitchless Bride Video Rants began! Here's a link to the first one I did, and I must say that I really, really LOVE wearing that pink wig! It's like I put it on, and my magic powers (of wedding planning) come ALIVE!!

The Huffington Post ran an article I originally wrote for OneWed, "'Bridezillas' Taking Over the Wedding Industry?", about a word I made up called Bridaldemia... It's pretty juicy... Go read it...

OneWed ran BB's 5 Tips for Finding the Right Wedding Planner. I really do love that piece! 

Then BB got a little bit sexy... There were 21 comments on the Give it to Me Brideys post... All about who "did it" on their wedding night... Did you?

It got even hotter on BB when we were discussing To Boudoir or Not to Boudoir... IS There a Question?

In October, I decided that if I really wanted Bitchless Bride to evolve, then I needed to learn how to do it better; to push BB in the right direction. Because, If it Ain't Aweome, Then Why Bother? So, where is a girl to go when she wants to do it the right way? The Blogcademy of course!! And boy, did I learn a lot! After all, I'm just a wedding planner... This blogging stuff is all new to me!!

After Blogcademy, I made a few changes... And one of the biggest, most noticeable changes I made (thanks to the fabulous advice I received during my blogacation) was to be a bit more educational (still with an edge of course!)... I wanted you, bridey, to really learn from my wedding planning experience... To take away the importance of what it means to really be a BITCHLESS BRIDE. And a popular post I wrote following this epiphany was, 5 Important "Bridal Traits" I Learned From my Favorite Bride... 

That was a good one! And finally... BB started putting up Real Weddings... And I mean REAL!! Like the pictures you love, the ones you don't and the story behind the planning... The REAL story. Here are a few pics of the last Real Wedding... Wedding in a Winter Wonderland!

Phew! 2012 was a HUGE year! And that's not even the half of it! But, no matter what... I hope you learned a lot bridey, I know I certainly did!!! Thank you for reading Bitchless Bride... Your bridal health is truly important to me, even if I don't always say it in the most heartwarming way...

BB is going to start 2013 with a BANG! So, stay tuned for some BIG, GIANT, HUGE news! 

It's so BIG that I am going to take a bit of a break... So... I will see you next Wednesday with a new Real Wedding. But, never fear... You can always find me on Twitter, FB and Pinterest!

HAPPY NEW YEAR BRIDEYS!!! 

XO,

BB

This is How It's Done... Writing a Glowing Letter to Management

Good afternoon Mr. General Manager,

Please excuse the tardiness of this note; however it's taken me a while to determine exactly how I wanted to praise an absolutely incredible manager I had the pleasure of working with at your venue. Ms. Sarah Smith and I began our journey together last August 2011 upon signing the wedding contract of Ms. Amanda Frank and Mr. Samuel Counter to be married at your venue on October 13, 2012. We signed the contract with your sales team after much back and forth finally agreeing on the terms and conditions presented to us.

Sarah was quick to reach out and introduce herself. I immediately found her to be extremely knowledgeable, friendly and encouraging. And that was just the beginning...

Life is not Fair; Get Used to It

Hello my name is Bitchless Bride and it’s been nine days since I was last used. It’s been nine days since I felt such an incredible high as I was showered with praise and gratitude from the vendors involved in “her” wedding, and at the same time experienced such an amazing crash as I thought about all of the times that my bride should have been smiling and wasn’t. This mess of feelings all within a fourteen-hour span... And I can’t seem to let it go. I can’t move on. I keep replaying the evening over and over again in my head. It’s like this bitch and her wedding are stuck on me. And after all of these years that I’ve “used”, I think the reason I can’t seem to move forward is because I refuse to accept that maybe this time, I got used. And you know what? I don’t like it.

I'm Not Going to Say "I Told You So"

I'm not going to say "I told you so", even though I am absolutely DYING to scream it at the top of my fucking lungs!!! Seriously, I am aching in my soul to tell this bride that she should have listened to me. And although I am a powerful source of knowledge, and definitely not afraid to put people (brides and vendors alike) in their place, I cannot force anybody to do anything once their mind is made up.

Don't be Fooled by the "Rocks" That I Got

You know what I am getting so sick of hearing? (I bet you'll never guess based on the picture...)

"Oh my God! You're a wedding planner? How EXCITING? Are you like, JLo?" REALLY? C'mon people. When did that movie even come out?

Besides, is my job really that exciting? Because to me it's actually quite stressful, super aggravating, and oftentimes has me thinking about why I couldn't have more of a "normal" job like everybody else. And you know what? No you can't call me fucking JLo. I mean if you really think about it, JLo's character in that movie is kinda of depressing. Let's strip down the "glamorous" wedding planning part for just a sec... Does anybody else find it a bit melancholy that she comes home after her event, eats by herself, and ultimately falls in love with one of her grooms? And you know what? The ending NEVER would have been that amicable... Fists would have been a flyin'...

But anyway... Similar to the Rainbows and Unicorns post I wrote (you know, the one about the young aspiring wedding planners with a giant hard-on for "the industry"? The ones who email me their resume every fucking day?), this post is along the same vein, but these people don't actually want to do my job. Instead, they usually just have super boring jobs, like in finance or something, and attack me with questions because obviously what I do is much more exciting. And I get it, but if you reallly want to take something away from being a wedding planner, then I'll fill you in on what I tell myself when the going gets rough and tough. (Brideys, pay close attention because if you want to be remembered like this, by all of your vendors, then quickly evaluate if you deserve it by educating yourselves via BB.)

When Wedding Planners Behave Badly

This is a MUST READ! I received an "Ask Bitchless" about an entitled wedding planner who took advantage of her bride, and BB responded with some solid advice (if I do say so)... Let BB know what you think! Feel free to leave a comment (click on the Ask Bitchless link) with your two cents for The Bride Who Saw Red.