vendors

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Why Finding the Right Venue Can be as Difficult as Finding the Right Sig Other... 5 Ways to Overcome Venue Finding Hell

Bridey, one of the most difficult parts of planning your wedding is choosing the right venue. I mean, there are so many factors to consider, and people to please that what used to be a fun experience has turned into more of a daunting task. Sorry, but true story! So, rather than let it get the best of you (and quickly), get your shit together before you start your journey so that you don't end up wasting a ton of your time, and that of those trying to help you. How? Well, let me help you get started before you lose your mind!

First of all, bridey, do your homework. I know that it's super exciting to start the process of searching for the right venue, but before you can even begin researching potential venue sites, you and your sig other need to sit down and determine a few important factors. Do your homework! Because, now is not the time to be impulsive. Outside of the down payment for your house, this is going to be the next biggest expense of your life. So, don't fuck it up by being impulsive and reckless. Determine your budget (give or take). Determine an approximate number of guests so that you know which venues will work, and which ones won't. Determine reasonable accommodations and concessions for your guests... Etc. Etc. Etc.

1. Budget: I know that this is difficult, but bridey, it's the most important factor when choosing your venue. At the very least, try to figure out what you have to spend overall (wedding venue, wedding dress, flowers, transportation, etc.), and what you have to spend on your venue (where you'll spend approximately 50-60% of your total budget). Have a 'worst case scenario', and a 'best case scenario' mapped out, and be honest. Better to overshoot than undershoot when it comes to your budget.

2. Number of Guests: While there is no way to know the exact number of guests this early in the game, at the very least try to figure out an approximate number. Why? Well, if you begin visiting sites without knowing how many people you're going to have at your wedding, then you are setting yourself up for disappointment. You'll fall in love with a place that will either be too cavernous or too small, and ultimately, you will need to start your search over. Why put yourself through that, bridey? So, chat with your sig other, poll your parents, and set some boundaries (based on budget)... Then go look!

3. Aesthetic + Reality: Really pretty basic, no? Are you an ocean side bride or a hotel bride? Are you a rustic bride or modern bride? What do you see when you daydream? Narrow it down. Start where you think you will end. Got something brewing? Great! Well, now compare what you know about your aestheic against your budget (aka, reality). For example, I know I like modern furniture, but I also know that it tends to cost a shitload more than "normal" furniture. Ohhhhh..... yeah......

Okay, it's your turn, bridey. Want an outdoor wedding at a your parent's house? Sounds lovely! But, stop and think for a sec... Think about renting every.single.item. from forks to bathrooms to power generators (for the DJ, caterer, lighting, etc.)... Yup! Your guests will need to pee,

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ FLASHBACK: I'm Not Going to Say "I Told You So"

***For those of you who have been reading Bitchless Bride for the past few years, then you should recognize this post. The reason I'm re-posting? Well, let's just say that you perhaps you didn't learn your lesson the first time around. Because 2.5 years later, although I'm working with a different bride, I find myself in a similar situation. So, why reinvent the wheel? Right? This was a fantastic post (if I do say so...) So, just read it!!! Because, bridey, I cannot stress enough how important it is to tap into the network of the people you hire to help you plan your wedding. Or else, why bother, right?***

October 2, 2012:

I'm not going to say "I told you so", even though I am absolutely DYING to scream it at the top of my fucking lungs!!! Seriously, I am aching in my soul to tell this bride that she should have listened to me. And although I am a powerful source of knowledge, and definitely not afraid to put people (brides and vendors alike) in their place, I cannot force anybody to do anything once their mind is made up.

So here's the deal brideys, please please please take this to heart. If you hire a wedding planner or have a fantastic relationship with the wedding coordinator at the venue where your wedding is being held, then do yourself and everybody a favor... LISTEN TO THEM. Take their advice, and run with it. Because we do this every day, and you don't. I would never sit at your desk and pretend to know or understand the complexities of each task you manage, so please don't pretend to know and understand all of the aspects that go into wedding planning, even though you've seen it on TV. 

Last night, I had to have an "emergency meeting" with the florist for the wedding I am producing this weekend. The worst part (besides being our 4th meeting with her in five weeks to determine direction)? I was adamantly opposed to using her from the very beginning. Although I thought her aesthetic was lovely, I had my doubts about her, hmmm... how to say this... mental state? Basically, she couldn't articluate her ideas (so that we could fully understand them from a non-florist standpoint), and by the time we finally received a contract from her, it was on a word doc, not locked and missing some key elements such as:

1. The date of the wedding.

2. Particular services rendered (kind of a big deal).

3. The groom's name.

4. Liability clause, hold harmless clause, basically ALL clauses.

5. Etc. Etc. Etc.

So, after I completely rewrote the contract to satisfy my comfort levels (ie: this bitch wasn't going to screw us by not showing up, etc.), I told bridey that I had some serious concerns. And after several rounds on the not-so-merry-go-round, bridey decided to move forward with this lovely, yet completely scattered florist.

Please brideys, part of the reason you hire a wedding planner is to take advantage of the people we know. Use us. Use our network. And for the millionth time, it's not because we get a kickback (although it is nice...), it's because we trust them to show up, to creatively produce, to provide a clear direction, and to do their fucking jobs. If my bridey had gone with a florist in my network; somebody I have worked with on several occasions, we seriously could have eliminated hours of complete anguish, and stress for THE BRIDE (and for me too, but...)

If I had more time, I would tell you about the country bumpkin photographer who is unfamiliar with the venue, and yet has not carved out time to come to the big city to do her homework, and is now freaking out. BUT, because I have to go fix and coordinate all of these details that could have completely been avoided with my trusted group of peeps, I can't get into it. 

Bottom line? Listen to the people who are trying to help. Explore every vendor in our network before using choosing to look elsewhere. And then, and only then, go find somebody else if you aren't satisfied. Got it?

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Designing My Dream Bride

The other day, a friend of mine asked me who my dream bride would be. Huh? Of course, I immediately asked if she was serious or if she was fucking with me. She assured me that she was dead serious, and then said, "if you could design your dream bride, what would "she" be like?" Oooooooo.... This was getting interesting! Right? If nothing else, it certainly got me thinking... What DOES my dream bride look like? And, with Christmas just a few days away, and millions impending proposals and engagements on the horizon, the timing of her question seemed appropriate. Just think... If even just 90% of you, brideys, read this post right after your engagement, then my job is done! So, here it goes... Bitchless Bride's Dream Bride:

1. My dream bride would remember who she was before she got engaged! Kinda the whole point of my blog, right? Just because you're engaged, doesn't give you the right to be a bitch. Remember, what you put out there is what you'll get back. So, bridey, if you're nice to people (vendors, bridesmaids, etc.), then they will be nice to you. They will do nice things for you. They will go out of their way for you. However, if you are a total bitch, then you'll get the bare minimum from those around you. Seriously, why would your bridesmaids go out of their way for you if they are beginning to hate you? Same goes for your vendors. If you treat them like shit, why should they go above and beyond? Right? Consider this a fact.

2. My dream bride would remember WHY she wanted to get married in the first place... Um, the dude or the chick your want to spend the rest of your life with... Your sig other! PERSPECTIVE!! See the girl in the picture? She's happy! And, you should be too! You're marrying the love of your life!! (And if you're not, then that's a whole other blog post!)

Bridey, I eloped, and I know that eloping isn't for everybody, but all I could think of at the time was that I loved my hus, and we had a shitload of family dynamics that could have presented themselves at the worst possible time. But, no matter what? I wanted to be with the dude. So, even if we had stuck to the plan and had a big wedding, all I wanted was him...

3. My dream bride would treat people with respect (friends, family, vendors). Piggybacking off of number one... Don't be a bitch. Treat people with respect. It's so simple and basic (human decency), and yet oftentimes it gets lost when the wedding planning gets stressful or emotions become extreme. Just remember to breathe, bridey, and be nice. It will be well worth it!

4. My dream bride would trust me (and all of the other professionals she hired) unequivocally. She would trust that if we are working together, that I know what I am doing, and let me do it. Don't get in my way. Don't think that because your maid of honor (MOH) got married a month ago that we should listen to her (or whothefuckever). Just let me take your dream, and run with it (with established boundaries, of course)!

5. My dream bride would skip the micromanaging bullshit. Again, you have to trust me, and let me present you with the applicable details. Bridey, your vendors are not going to share the nitty gritty with you, and honestly, you don't want to know all of the behind the scenes shit that you are missing. Just back off,

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Trust the Process... When Time is Not of the Essence

Sooo... I gotta say, I really lucked out this weekend. I worked with awesome clients who not only trusted me unequivocally, but also took my advice, hired vendors in my network and then let me do what I do best... Plan their event (and got the hell out of my way so I COULD do my job)! Because that is what I do best, brideys. Plan. And when you're in my face bossing me around and getting involved without fully understanding the nature of the beast (that is your event), you're only hurting yourself. Why? Well, let me explain.

Yesterday morning, over a delicious boozy brunch, I was chatting with a vendor friend of mine who wasn't as lucky as I was with her bride from the weekend. Her client just couldn't let go. This chick micromanaged every single detail to the point of nearly ruining her wedding for the sake of being on time. Really? I'm sorry, but that's fucked up. I've said it a million times, bridey. It's not about the time things happen, it's about the order and flow in which they take place. The order of events will always trump the time they take place.

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Tipping... Honestly? It's Always Expected and Always Appreciated

As I come off of my high from the weekend filled with super successful events, I am even more elated because this girl is on her way to go get herself some absolutely not needed new shoes. Why? Well, because first of all, I am awesome, but more importantly because I got a fat tip from one of my clients. Did I expect it? Sure did. But, even though I expected a tip doesn't always mean that'll I receive one, regardless of how much my client "loves me, and couldn't get through it without me." Call me an asshole, but it's true. I expected and this time I received. 

Sounds terrible, right? Yeah, I know it does, but I also know that no matter how much time and energy I put into planning every wedding and event, I don't get paid nearly enough. None of your wedding vendors do, bridey. Because all of us are focused on staying competitive (with each other), even if it means taking a hit financially. And quite frankly, usually the breakdown in hours spent ensuring your wedding day is going to be fucking sensational, is about that of an hourly employee at McDonald's. Actually, I bet in some cases, they make more dough then we do. Because, never mind how much we charge, nine times out of ten you're always going to get more than you paid for... It's just the nature of the the industry. We say "yes" a hell of a lot more than any other industry.

Bridey, I have written quite a bit about tipping your wedding vendors, and have also had guest bloggers write about tipping your wedding vendors. Bottom line? TIP YOUR FUCKING WEDDING VENDORS.

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Don't Go Breaking Our Hearts or Busting Our Balls

This post is tough because I TOTALLY get it. I really do. I get it because I deal with it EVERY.FUCKING.DAY. And, I'm telling you that I get it before I even explain what the hell "it" is JUST to cover my ass... So, here it goes. Bridey, shit is going to change. Your wedding plans are going to change. Your guest list will go up and down eighteen fucking times based on family dynamics or lack of guest list control (usually because of your mom BTW...). Your flowers will change a bazillion times based on personal preference, availability and design. Your wedding dress will be taken in and out or scraped completely, but the most irritating, never ending change that for some reason is expected to be "no big deal"? Guess... Duh, look up!

The menu. Bridey, there comes a point when it is up to you to get your shit together, and simply be done with your menu. The most annoying thing in the whole wide world is a bride who continually changes her menu all the way down to the week before her wedding. Be it the passed hors d'oeuvres, stations during the cocktail hour or even the damn salad before entree, it's coo coo. Many chefs, venues and caterers will try to accommodate (particularly if your numbers go UP), but there comes a time when it's just not okay to keep changing your fucking mind. When you're a week away from your wedding, all anybody in "the industry" cares about is the number of guests and how many of each...

So you saw "something really cool" at an event you were at last week. Forget about it. Somebody suggested "that you ought to do blah, blah, blah..." FORGET ABOUT IT! Seriously, don't go busting balls at the venue or with your caterer because now that stupid Philly cheese steak egg roll is "a must".

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ All Weddings Are Not Created Equal – Comparison is the Thief of Joy

Bridey, when it comes to what your vendors are going to provide for you, avoid comparing what you heard your vendors did for your best friend, sort of friend, acquaintance or somebody that you know. Because each circumstance is different... Perhaps the caterer threw in an additional passed hors d’oeuvre during cocktail hour for your friend because they received a shitload of short rib that they needed to unload or else it would go bad. Or maybe the florist your acquaintance used was late paying her rent for the very expensive studio she resides in and lowered her pricing so that she would win the business. Your friend got a free cheese display? Perhaps the catering manager at the venue comped the damn display because your friend is awesome and she simply wanted to throw her a bone. Or, you know what? Maybe, they’re all lying or embellishing the truth. Whaaaa? You don’t think that you girls are competing just a bit? So be happy with what you got because as Theodore Roosevelt said, "Comparison is the Thief of Joy".

Whatever the case may be, bridey, I just can’t listen to it anymore! Remember when you told your mom that the whole class failed that stupid fucking geometry test and her retort was that, ahem (imagine your best mom voice), “I don’t care about the rest of the class, I care about you.” UGH! But, you totally remember, don’t you? Well, that is essentially what I am saying to you. When you approach your vendors with deals that they may or may not have made with your peers, it does nothing but piss them off in the same way it pissed off your mother. Because each circumstance is different!!! They are focused on what they are providing to you. And all weddings are not created equal! And frankly, all brides are not created equal. And... you guessed it! Not all "deals" are created equal!

Bridey, if you want a freebie, the worst possible way you can go about asking for it is to say that of your friend, or whomever, got a deal and therefore you want one too. Seriously? That’s just annoying. Be straightforward. Be nice. Show some respect for the vendor with whom you are working, and leave everybody else out of the equation. If something is out of your budget, tell them, and if they are in a position to discount it or offer it to you complimentary, so be it, but let it be their decision. No matter what, if you have been a delight to work with thus far, anything is possible. I told Elizabeth Vargas that when we sat down for a chat. Basically, we (vendors) want to go above and beyond for those clients who treat us with respect. 

Got it? 

Good.

Image via France Dress

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ I'm Not Going to Say, "I TOLD YOU SO!!!!"

Yeah, I'm feeling kinda ranty today. Honestly, I'm fucking exhausted. I'm so tired of being the shrink, mediator, personal assistant, and hand holder. This wedding season has been awesome and brutal all at the same time! Seriously, I feel completely bipolar because one day, I am absolutely elated; lovin' life and my clients, and the next, I am down in the dumps wishing I had a chosen to do something else with my life. Something that didn't require so much brain power; something where my "product" wasn't dependant on people and their ever-changing ideas and opinions.

This wedding season, I've had some truly amazing clients who really understand that there is life beyond their wedding day, and then I've also had some clients who are so self absorbed and seem to have some serious issues with sharing. That's an odd thing for me to say, huh? I guess it is... Why don't I explain with a story...

Recently, I worked with a client who was absolutely OBSESSED with the fact that her gorgeous and extremely popular venue had the nerve to have another event booked in their ballrom prior to her big day. Outrageous, right? I mean, how could they have the audacity to maximize their profit on a busy Saturday in June? Yeah... hoping you're picking up on my sarcasm... Anyway, almost every single conversation we had either started with or ended with a diatribe, asking me if "I could believe that they had another party ending so close to the beginning of her wedding." Perhaps I am somewhat immune to a tight turn (meaning that the venue and vendors have a short period of time to flip an event space from one party to the next), but a two hour window is nothing; easy peasy. In fact, there are plenty of us (vendors, wedding planners, etc.) who have turned a room in an hour! But, no matter how hard I tried to explain this to my client, she would not HEAR me. And goddamn if I wasn't annoyed.

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Don't be a Bitch! Keep Your Consultation Appointments

Written by The Other Hot Pink Planner

Dear Brides,

As vendors we absolutely love scheduling consultations because to us, it means that people interested in our services and we get excited to meet with a new bride and/or groom! Actually, we love them so much that we offer FREE consultations for our clients (just so you know, not every vendor offers a free consultation, and now I can now understand why)... so when we offer FREE consultations, we greatly appreciate that you hold your end of that bargain and make it to your appointment, and on time. If you're not going to make the appointment, with respect for the other party involved (aka, me, your vendor) please call to say you won't be making it (with more than 20 minutes notice).

You see, many of us don't have a store front (which is how we are affordable to you) therefore we don’t have set hours. This makes it easy for us to schedule and work around YOUR schedule and therefore putting our personal and family time on the back burner. So, please, brides and grooms, if you schedule a vendor consultation... Please don’t just NOT show up! If you found a different vendor for the service, fantastic! We completely understand and are happy for you! But, please respect our time and call to cancel rather than just not show up.

The truth? It sucks because just like you, we have lives. We have families. But what we don't have? Time to spare! So, be considerate to others, especially your vendors (and your potential vendors). Just because you are a bride doesn't give you the right to be inconsiderate! You're not the only ones in the world getting married. You aren't better than the next bride, and you don't get special treatment because you're getting married! And bare in mind, if you chose to have a no call/no show to a vendor appointment and you happened to really like that vendor's work, don't be surprised if they're now 'booked' for your wedding day.

(I HAVE to add my two cents... The other side of this equation? Make an appointment with your vendors. Don't just walk into a hotel, florist, DJ, etc. and think that because they are in the service industry, that you will be seen, and immediately. Just like you, your vendors maintain a schedule, and also schedule appointments with other brides. I mean... Would you ever just walk in and expect to see your dentist or doctor? Probably not, because you know that they don't give a shit that you were "just in the area"... So, let's go back to the basics, brideys... PHONE FIRST!!)

Thank you, 

The Other Hot Pink Planner*

*Check out another vent from The Other Hot Pink Planner here

Image via Become a Top Wedding Planner

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ What's a Bridey to do When a Vendor isn't Responding?

Hello BB!

I’ve been a follower of your blog for a while now, even prior to getting engaged (I knew it was coming…)! 

BB, I swear that I’ve followed much of your advice about how to be the best bridey I can be. That said, here's my story... I’m planning a destination wedding in Florida, and outside of a few hiccups along the way, wedding planning has been for the most part, okay.

Except for one thing… Getting the person who is handling my reception at her restaurant to email me back in a timely manner. And I promise that I’m not that bride who writes an email at 7 am, and expects a reply by 7:05. I just want her to respond within the week. Is that too much to ask? I mean this has been going on for literally months. MONTHS! 

Let me explain.

The restaurant/venue is booked. The next time we are in Florida is for Thanksgiving week, and that is the last time prior to the wedding. Here’s everything that is outstanding:

1. I have asked in previous emails about getting pricing for a musician to play during the reception, (the restaurant has a guy that plays Spanish guitar); she told me she would get a name and number to me, and has not.

2. The menu at the venue changes with the change of seasons. Knowing that, I’ve been asking which menu we will be using, winter or spring (my wedding date is March 1st). No response.

3. I swear that every email I have sent, (which really hasn’t been that many – 4 tops) I have always been cordial and always say something to the tune of that I appreciate your time and help, and so on.

So, now summer goes by, and I send an email asking for the info I need and if we could set up an appointment to finalize things while we are there prior to the Thanksgiving holiday (as we are going to be in town). I sent that email a week ago… No reply. 

I know I’m not her only client, but damn this is so frustrating! And it’s not like this is her first time at the rodeo, as I know they have several weddings, rehearsal dinners, etc. booked, and somehow that makes it even worse. My patience is starting to wearing the fuck out.

Please help me in regards as to how to address her so that I can rectify this situation. All I really want to do is get things wrapped up. And at the same time, I don’t want her wishing she never booked me. 

Help!!

Sincerely,

"Trying Not to Lose it"

***VENDORS, WEDDING INDUSTRY FOLKS AND BRIDEYS WHAT DO YOU THINK? PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT WITH ADVICE FOR "TRYING NOT TO LOSE IT".***

Image via OutterInner

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Wedding Planner, Personal Assistant or Bitch?


Last year, I wrote a piece similar to this for the Huffington Post, called Wedding Planner or Personal Assistant? And all I have to say is that I'm glad to know that I'm not alone. If other wedding planners feel the same way, then we MUST be onto something... Right? So, bridey, jot down a few notes... You'll need them!

Written by the "Peeved Off Planner"

I thought I'd include what this wedding planner wrote to me in the same email as the vent...

Hey BB!

I wanted to send you a little vendor vent. I am to the point of ripping my hair out from the past couple of wedding weekends I have had. I work my ass off and when brides start being demeaning I wonder if they are just incompetent or just bitches. So below is a vent. I can definitely expand on it, but I definitely will need a prozac and a glass of wine beforehand.

I am your Wedding Coordinator, not your slave, personal assistant or bitch.

The fact that it is getting to the point where I have to explain to brides what I DO NOT do is unfathomable. Brides, I am planning your wedding, I will be supportive to you over family feuds, bitchy bridesmaid and crazy mothers, but I am not your BITCH. I repeat, I am not your bitch, your slave, or personal assistant. My job is to make sure your wedding runs smoothly, so that you can enjoy the day.

My job is not:

- to make your nail appointment
- pick up groceries for you
- contact your mother about her plans because you just cannot speak to her any more

Yes, I have had brides ask me to pick up groceries for them!

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Woe is B...

The truth today, bridey? I'm fucking tired. I'm fucking over it. I'm fucking done. Seriously, you know that feeling when you just want the world to freeze for a little while just so you can catch up on your life? So, that you can have everybody leave you the fuck alone for like one second, and give you some space? Yeah, that's where I'm at right now. I'm spent, and I really need to get my shit together, because I've got a busy wedding season coming up, and I'm already exhausted. 
So, here's what I'm gonna do, I'm going to educate you the best way I know how... Through experience... Here are a few simple reminders about common decency while planning your wedding:

1. First of all, go read the vendor vent from the fussy florist. It'll teach you that we are all fighting a battle, and no matter how much time and money goes into your planning, many of us go well beyond the call of duty to make sure you're happy.

2. Be nice. Even if it's through clenched teeth. Be fucking nice. To everybody involved in your wedding planning. Enough of the entitled bullshit.

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Trust Your Vendors!


Brideys, I HAD to put this post FRONT AND FUCKING CENTER even though it's a Vendor VentTechnically, this vent should go on another page of BB, but I had to do it because almost a year ago to the day, I wrote something quite similar, Trust is NOT a Four Letter Word (although perhaps a bit more venom packed), and seriously, I don't know how many wedding planners, or people in our industry need to tell you this, but TRUST YOUR VENDORS! Don't hire me if you're not going to trust me. PERIOD!

Now... read it and learn...

Written by "Another Hot Pink Planner"

Last year I met with an out of state bride referred to my team by one of my favorite clients. I knew going in that she was really excited to work with us, so I was looking forward to meeting her. Actually, she was so excited to work with us that she hired us on the spot! I have to admit, I was quite thrilled to work with her too because the gal who referred her to us was amazing, so I figured she would be as well. Boy was I wrong!

I can distinctly remember this bride at our consultation asking questions about ways we would be able to save her money, and how we would be able to make her wedding planning easier. I gave her several examples, and let her know that we would closely monitor her budget, making sure that she stuck it. Plus, we would be happy to provide her with vendors she would love.

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Bridey, You're Embarrassing Me

You know those moments when your with a friend or your fiancé and they're doing something so incredibly embarrassing that you wish you could casually slip under the table and disappear? Or better yet, rewind and totally eliminate yourself from the situation in the first place? Well, now imagine that horror in a professional setting. Much worse, right? Yeah... Brutal.

So... recently, I worked with a bride who, oddly enough I actually liked, but seemed to make it her mission in life to say or do something so insanely out of line during every single one of our appointments that I almost had to fire her. Because no amount of pre-appointment "coaching" seemed to help. Her verbal vomit would just keep spewing and spewing. There were several times that I wanted to slit my fucking wrists. I mean... It was so bad that following most appointments, I felt the need to call my vendors and apologize for my bride's behavior. What kind of shit was she saying... In public? To real people?

Here we go... BTW, keep in mind that this chick can afford the finer things in life:

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ I'm Not Your Hired Help!

Sooo... I totally changed my plan for today. I was going to talk all about making your wedding planning simpler, blah blah blah... Don't be a bridey bitch, blah blah blah..., but then I received this absolutely, painfully honest vendor vent, and I HAD to change my plan, because there was no way that I was going to let this one get by me without adding my two (or three) cents. Brideys, as wedding season quickly approaches, it's incredibly important for all of you to understand the difference between the event planner who works for the hotel, and the person you HIRE for thousands of dollars to plan your wedding. 

As I've mentioned previously, prior to going out on my own as a wedding planner, I worked at several fancy hotels on the catering/event planning teams. And you know what? It wasn't fucking easy. It was a million and a half hours, physically demanding (thank God I am in such good shape... HA!), and honestly? The pay was shitty. Like, shockingly shitty actually. Like, so shitty that people outside of the industry who knew just how little we were paid were utterly blown away by the tiny compensation. But, I don't want to get off track, so we'll save that for yet another post about TIPPING your poorly paid manager...

Anyway, as bitchy and awful as some clients can be, sometimes our angst has nothing to do with you, bridey.

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Wedding Planning Breakdown

I know this may surprise you, but shockingly I don't have all the answers. I can't tell you why sometimes people can be complete assholes, only that it feels fucking fantastic to put them (assholes) in their place. I can't tell you why certain vendors can be just as diva-like as certain brides, only that I've learned to take care of them (or else). But, what I can tell you with absolute certainty is that it is in your best interest to hire a wedding planner. In any capacity...

And yes, we've covered this a million times before. And yes, I sometimes feel like I and say and write this shit and nobody listens, but lately I am starting to think that maybe you really are listening. Because within the pile of emails I receive daily with questions about wedding planning, ceremony ideas, terrible bridesmaids, etc., recently I have been getting quite a few emails about hiring a wedding planner. For instance:

"I have a quick question regarding wedding planners, I know what full coordination service entails; but what does "Wedding Day Coordination" generally include? Also, what does "Consultation only" include? I am considering hiring a planner, but if it is not in my budget, is consulting with a planner then hiring them for the day of a viable option?"

Allow me to break it down for you, but please note that each wedding planner works independently, and what I perceive as wedding day coordination (or month of coordination), another planner may completely differently than me:

Wedding Day Coordination or Month of Coordination:

Bitchless Bride Video #16 - We Appreciate Your Business, But We DON'T Consider Ourselves Lucky

Brideys, enough is enough! Stop the entitled insanity! Your vendors are thrilled to work with you, but surprisingly, they expect to be paid for anything additional you want throughout your wedding planning. Don't expect anything for free simply because you've already signed on the dotted line.

BB's video leaving you wanting more? Then check out today's Vendor Vent! "Stop Penny Pinching Me, Bitch!!

Perspective is STILL a Bitch!

Listen, I am a fucking busy wedding planner, and it's fall wedding season so THIS bitch has got to keep it short... In a nutshell... Check yourself bridey, because it's really important to make sure that your expectations for your vendors, venue, wedding ring, vail... all the way down to your your wedding dress are in line with reality (ahem... your budget) during your wedding planning process. 

Show Me the MONEY!!

Written by The Tipping Fairy...

You want a vent? Well, here it is.

I am just appalled/disgusted/frustrated/driven-to-tears by the information on the Internet by supposed bridal “authorities” regarding the issue of tipping wedding vendors. 

The common rule of thumb proclaimed by these wedding-wise leaders is usually along the lines of: “You’re already shelling out a ton of money for your wedding, the vendors probably charge you more for a wedding versus another event (i.e., we’re all out to screw young couples), and no, you really don’t have to do this.”