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    « Invitations - Why Being Organized Gets the Guest to Your Wedding | Main | Bitter Bridal Shop Beat Down »

    Vendors Letting Down Other Vendors

    Sorry to steal the “the floor” away from the awesome vendors who submit their true and truly horrendous stories to BB, but today I am the vendor and I need to talk about another vendor… and how he completely fucked me over.

    While I won’t get into the super nitty gritty, in a nutshell, this vendor no-showed for a scheduled appointment. Yeah, a vendor I referred, and have used several times. Oh, AND the mother of the bride flew in to so that she could guide the bride with this particular aspect of the planning.

    Here’s the thing… Yes, our meeting was scheduled for 9:00 AM on Sunday of Father’s Day, and yes we are right in the middle of wedding season. You think I wanted this ridiculously early appointment? Please, I didn’t get home until 3 AM… No, I’m not THAT kind of girl people… No “walk of shame” for me, I was working… Cause it’s wedding season? So anyway, I booked this knowing it was not ideal for anybody EXCEPT the bride. Because that’s what I do. I please the client even if it means that I don’t sleep.

    At 7:30 AM that morning, this vendor called me and said that he was having some issues getting his shit out of the venue from the wedding the previous night, and he needed some of these items for a wedding taking place that evening. I was annoyed, but at the same time, as I mention in our other post today, shit happens. It always does. So I asked if he needed to cancel. He told me “no”, but could we meet at 10 AM instead? I told him that unfortunately, 10 AM wouldn’t work because we were booked with back-to-back appointments. He said, fine “how’s 9:30 AM”? Done.

    So we waited, and waited and fucking waited… outside the warehouse drinking our coffee making that horribly uncomfortable conversation without really saying what we were thinking. By 10 AM, I finally broke through the bullshit, called him, and said that we needed to go (as nicely as I could muster through clenched teeth). I couldn’t risk messing up the rest of our carefully scheduled day because of this shit. So we left. And that was that. He said he was five minutes away...

    My bride was surprisingly understanding considering the situation. I’d have been upset if I were she, more for the fact that her mother was in town specifically for these appointments, and this one in particular was a big deal. But, she knew that the timing was difficult (to say the least), and he while he should have just canceled the appointment due to these unforeseen circumstances, he was in a tough spot.

    But, here’s the million-dollar question… Do I give him another chance (for this wedding)? I have used this guy for years without issue. And oddly enough, I like him because he is usually, totally OCD, and quite anal about being on time. And, not for nothing, I get that he had a fire to put out. But, if he fucks up again (again being on the day of the wedding), then I’m in big fucking trouble. So, I am really torn.

    What would you do?

    Reader Comments (11)

    I say... since you've known him so long, and since you say he's been flawless for years (and you like him!) he get's a pass. Everyone has one of THOSE days once in a while... I doubt an OCD dude would have two so soon together.

    If you're truly satisfied with his explanation and that he gets why this is a big deal then why not leave the decision up to the bride? Tell her that you really trust this guy and believe that this was a one-time-only mistake, but that if she doesn't feel comfortable going with him, you'll find someone else.

    June 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMarta

    Here's my 2 cents...

    He had a situation where he couldnt do his job, as promised, planned & paid for, that very evening, without extracting certain items from a venue. His own personal timeline was too tight for his own good, but that is a separate issue. While your meeting with him was very important to you, it was of considerably lesser, how can I say this correctly, lesser intensity as his immediate situation, which is a job he is contracted to deliver in a few short hours. Yours was simply a meeting for something in the future.

    He burned the candles at both ends, and lost. We all do it at one point or another. I credit him for taking your calls, calling you early in the morning and letting you know he had issues to start with. He wasnt out right ditching you, dodging calls, etc. He fucked up his own time management, and I believe he is actually not to pleased with himself to have not been able to properly handle his own shit.

    He bite off more then he could chew & then sucked at time management. Tis what it is. If this was the core of how he was, you would have known it by now. He screwed up. As for delivering on game day, well, there you have it, he put off meetings about the future, to ensure game day went right for the bride of the day, so...... That says something. I wouldnt worry. Give him a tap on the hand with a ruler and move on.

    June 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

    I think given the situation, he should get a pass. His priority must go to the bride whom he already had a contract with and who's wedding was THAT night. If her stuff was being held hostage by the venue, he really had no choice but to make sure the situation was handled.

    That said, he really should have called and let you know he wasn't going to be able to make the appointment after all. At least letting you get a call while the client was there would take some of the heat off you and make it obvious to the client that it was his fuck up. And this could have been turned into a talking point with the bride.....as in, the only reason he would ever stand us up is because he's working hard to correct a situation for a bride getting married TODAY. That's a commendable thing....it's not like he missed the appointment because he overslept or forgot, or even had a sick kid....he had a crisis with an event happening that night. Of course that will take priority over someone in the planning stages that he's not even officially working with yet.

    June 19, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermockstarphotog

    I am posting again, because I totally disagree with Jessica. I think calling this a time management issue is unfair. The fact that the guy had two back-to-back weddings says that he probably is in demand, and therefore good at what he does. It sounds like this was a glitch with the venue that caused the issue, and not something that he normally has to deal with.

    I think it's quite unfair to vilify anyone for working back-to-back weddings. In many parts of the country, wedding season is only a few months, and the rest of the year there are very few bookings, and many wedding vendors ONLY do weddings. So the number of days that we have to make a living is very small.

    June 19, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermockstarphotog

    I think he gets one more shot. He had a contracted event that evening and he needed to make sure he was prepared for that. That does not excuse not just simply telling you, "I can't make it!" but things do happen. The contracted client has to take precedence over the 'potential' client. If you have worked with him many times with no issue, it is possible this was just 'one of those days'. Personally, I am brutally honest with clients and other vendors about my schedule. I don't want to leave them in a lurch and getting the bad taste that you currently have in your mouth.

    June 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCasey Fatchett

    He gets a pass, given the good track record and long-standing relationship. There is no guarantee that if you dump and try to replace him you'll will get an equal or better vendor anyway, so you might as well stick with who and what you know.

    Good post

    June 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPaul Pannone


    Thanks to all of you for your valuable insight! I am leaning towards giving him another chance, and as expected I did receive a pretty remorseful email. But, as Marta said, I am going to run it by the bride to get her thoughts, and if she is at all uncomfortable, then I will find her somebody else.



    June 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBitchless Bride

    Sorry to hear all of this and you have a right to vent! Sometimes the people we refer business to don't perform as promised! Yes, they do slip up and this makes us look stupid. They may get away with it once, twice, but never a third time. Everyone has a bad day but making it a habit shouldn't happen!

    Bitchy StoreOwner

    June 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBitchy Store Owner

    One of my most well respected colleagues once told a group of elite and accomplished planners: "Vendors only screw up once". I respect that.

    February 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

    One of my most well respected colleagues once told a group of elite and accomplished planners: "Vendors only screw up once". I respect that.

    February 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

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