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    « Photographer Blues and How it Affects You | Main | Fuck You and Your Tiffany Blue »
    Wednesday
    Aug082012

    Real Simple or Really Rude?

    If I hear one more bride/client or whomever say to me, “oh I just want something simple” and then continue that sentence with, “I JUST WANT, dinnerware, flatware, glassware, overlays, satin of course, chair covers, bow ties, staff to set up and break down, three entree choices, two starches, a Caesar salad and perhaps one more “simple” passed hors d’oeuvre… something with shrimp. But, I am on a tight budget so let’s just keep it simple. Oh, and do you guys provide the bar? If so, I can get the alcohol and you just need to serve it.” REALLY?

    ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?! An entire dinner service just rolled off your tongue; the only thing you forgot was a freaking toothpick… And THAT’S SIMPLE? Honey, if I have to roll out of bed that morning to cater your wedding/ event, it’s not SIMPLE. Think about it, how long does it take you to prepare a romantic dinner for your boyfriend/husband/friend whatever? Yeah, multiply that by 100 - 200 - 300 guests. NOTHING is simple in our world.

    OH, I JUST WANT SOMETHING SIMPLE. Just a few extra appetizers, just one more salad, a couple desserts, JUST, JUST JUST… Lady, close your eyes and imagine that you have six appetizers to make, (something simple, no big deal), and now imagine that one guest will have at least two of EACH item. That’s a lot of food! Seriously, GO TO COSTCO IF YOU WANT SIMPLE, because clearly you have no idea what you’re asking of me.

    Asking our pastry chef to make a SIMPLE 5 tier wedding cake that sings, dances and literally has bells and whistles hanging from it is difficult. And when you add in, “I just want something simple” after your long explanation, and then continue with “Is this something you can do?” Sure, we can do it, but AGAIN, it’s not freaking simple!

    I know it's not the responsibility of the bride understand how much actually goes on behind the scenes or food cost, labor cost, etc., but the next time you inquire with a caterer, please leave the word SIMPLE out of the conversation because there is nothing SIMPLE about what I do. And honestly, it’s insulting to listen as some bride completely minimizes all of the work that goes into the preparation.

    In a nutshell, please give your vendors the respect they deserve by deleting the word SIMPLE from your vocabulary. Because if it were that simple, then everybody would be doing it. And nothing is SIMPLE when we’re talking about preparing for a wedding! It's just as simple as that.

    Sincerely,

    Ashlynn

    Reader Comments (10)

    I hate that word! Simple. Is there really anything in life that is simple? And I refuse to believe that the people (brides) who utter this word believe that it is in fact an easy task at hand. That's exactly like somebody saying "honestly" when they are about to lie.

    August 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLynne

    Hey Lynne,

    I love that you said, "That's exactly like somebody saying "honestly" when they are about to lie." Because I totally agree with you! First of all, nothing in our industry is simple, and although I don't expect the brides to understand all of the nuances, I do expect them not to discount or minimize our efforts by saying that this shit is simple! And secondly, every person I have known who started a sentence with "honestly" IS usually lying! That's the perfect way to put it!

    Thanks for your comment!

    XO,
    BB

    August 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBitchless Bride

    What I wish people would learn how to do is lead with their budget. This is the size of my event (wedding) this is my budget. This is what I am hoping for, NOW how close can we get the two?

    August 10, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterwyngrrrl

    Come on..we all should know by now the word "simple" means the exact opposite!! I hate that word too!

    August 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTiger Lily

    I think I have been on the other side of this conversation. What is the proper descriptive term you would suggest is used when what you really want is no "action stations," no freaking martini glasses, just a straightforward buffet with tasty food! So, yeah, we want buffet plates, but not rimmed china, just plates. I think, in our situation, the description of "simple" is of the style, not the process. My daughter wants comfort food, like mac and cheese, not a mac and cheese martini station with 5 toppings... just really good mac and cheese. On a buffet next to the green beans. I mean no disrespect, I understand pulling all this together is a major undertaking, which is why we aren't crazy enough to try to do it without a professional! So help me with the vocabulary to express that we want good food, well prepared, but without the over the top presentation. I regret if we have offended our cater with this request!

    September 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterClueless MOB

    I agree with Clueless MOB. I don't think the word "simple" means the same thing to you as it does to your client. When we use it, it by no means indicates how much work we perceive as going into the preparation. We know it's difficult, time-consuming work, and it's very much appreciated. I can't speak for everyone, but when I say "simple," I mean as in simple to eat, simple (not-too-exotic) flavors that will suit most palates, simple (looking) presentation, etc. I guess what I mean by simple is "not too fancy-shmancy there, 'cause we're Minnesotans and we don't wanna be too showy."

    September 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterOlder Bride

    When I hear simple as it relates to wedding cakes, that is code for "plain, no decoration other than maybe a ribbon trim". Yes it's pretty and I live doing those clean designs, but what the bride also thinks when she says "simple" is "cheaper because obviously you won't have as much work to do". Wrong. An undecorated design means I spent four times longer getting that clean finish absolutely perfect, because I have no decoration to cover the inevitable marks and imperfections.

    January 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterWedding cake baker

    HAHA! I love that "cheaper because obviously you won't have as much work to do". That's how I feel when a bride tells me she wants "simple makeup" and I know that means I'll have to spend a lot more time working on her skin to make it look so flawless that everything else can be "minimized". It also means I'll have to figure out a way to make her feel like she's not wearing much but still looks good on camera and won't blame me for shit photos later on.

    On the other hand, as a bride-to-be, I hereby vow I will never again say the word "SIMPLE" when describing my upcoming wedding! *conviction*

    You know what? Suck it up. It's your job. I wouldn't hire you in a million years if that's what you really think. How unprofessional.

    October 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMS

    Follow up-- so we stumbled on, trying our best not to offend the delicate sensibilities of our vendors, as none of you offered any advise. We did the best we knew how, with our limited resources to explain what we wanted to a series of vendors who didn't, in the end, care what we wanted. All they cared about was our budget. Because they knew that anything they said would be of no consequence on the night of the event. They have ultimate control. And no amount of talking sweetly is going to get them to do one thing different from what they want to do. So brides, moms, say whatever you want, but just be ready for surprises, some good, some not so good. Just enjoy your guests and try to enjoy the moment. I'm not going into the details here, but at some point I'll try to put together my list of the top 10 things NOT to expect of your wedding vendors.

    October 18, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterClueless MOB

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