Written by the Pissed Off Planner...
Seriously!?! I want to stick a firework up this bride's backside, and watch the explosions like a belated 4th of July weekend!! She is somewhat similar to BB's bride who would CC her on every email, but sadly her CC habit is not her only issue! But, that is where I'll start...
This bride CC's me on every fucking email she sends! This morning, she emails me at the ass crack of dawn and then again before 9am to check if I got the first email she sent at 7.45am. And a third email asking for her timeline.... Her wedding is not until the end of November!! Bitch, I have EIGHT weddings to get through before I even look at your timeline!! Pull your head out of your ass, please!! You are not my only bride. And for the record bridey, it is not my job to lay out your tables and chairs. That is the job of the venue... and if you don't trust them to do it to your exact specifications, then maybe you have have stuck with your first choice!!
Let's move on to flowers, shall we? As much as I love the Karen Tran centerpiece pictures you emailed to the first florist (who ended up firing your crazy ass) they are not in your budget; you couldn't even afford one, and all the other things you're demanding for your tiny budget of $500 (Note from BB... WHAAAA??)! The poor second florist, who I'm sure is currently in line at CVS collecting her meds, got this email, " Would the fee be reduced some if you only deliver the arrangements and my coordinator does all the setting up? (EXCUSE ME?) Also, I want to ensure that it is identical to the bouquet in the picture. I want open roses, not real big, but not real tight."
Something tells me that this probably won't turn out exactly as she wants. I can see it now!! *take cover*
Also I really don't need to be CC'ed on an email to the venue asking if you can bring in a Chick-fil-A for your boy because he doesn't eat macaroni cheese!! WHAT 8 YR OLD KID DOESN'T LIKE MAC N CHEESE?
So there you have it! Brides, be realistic about your expectations and your budget, and don't insult your planner by telling her it's her job to set the tables, arrange the flowers, bake the fucking cake, etc., etc. (I mean I do that shit anyways, but only when I HAVE to) because if I'm there, then who's with you, bitch?
Please and thank you xo