Get Over Yourself

I don’t need YOU to educate ME. No really, I mean it. You know what happened the second you became engaged? You went public. Your email address, phone number and address. PUBLIC. What am I talking about? How? Well, how was the bridal event at the fancy hotel you attended? You were on the guest list, right? What about that cheeseball wedding expo? Did you win anything? No… but you entered that stupid raffle, didn’t you? If you entered to win a honeymoon, a wedding dress or even a dildo, we will find you and try to get your business (or us savvy ones will). It doesn’t matter if there is an email address or not because we can easily track you down with the you know… internet? Duh… Anybody can find you even if you don’t want to be found. And it’s not because we are trying to harass you, it’s because we want your business. 

And you know what? Fuck you for being a bitch. Simply delete my email if you are not interested in my services, and move on. But, really, please don’t respond with an email preaching to me about your privacy and my professionalism. I operate in a similar fashion to your company. I use the information I find to try and drum up more business. That’s all it is. Actually, you should be impressed with my information gathering ability. If I can reach you with simply your name, then imagine what else I can do when I plan your wedding.

So bridey, if you don’t want to be found, then step off your stack of bridal magazines, stay the fuck home and quit being a bitch or else nobody will want to help you. Because you know what? Another bride is interested in getting more information on how I can help her plan her wedding.