Addicted to "Yes"
My name is Bitchless Bride, and I am an enabler. I am am addicted to "yes". I am a "make it happen" kind of girl no matter what the consequences are later. I will make it happen right now because I can, and if for some reason the task is outside the realm of my capabilities, then I will do whatever is necessary to get the job done because I am addicted to "yes".
Last night, I was lucky enough to share a few bevies with a fantastic, well known event planner. She and I have been friends for quite some time, and a few drinks into the evening we decided that we would make for terrible "just say no" advocates because we say "yes" to just about everything. You want to arrive at your ceremony on a fucking elephant, but the city is giving you shit about permits? No problem, I know a few people, I'll get it done. You're getting married at a historical landmark and want fucking pyrotechnics at your wedding? Done. Don't worry, I'll make it happen. You want chandeliers hanging from the sprinkler system? I got it. I have a friend at the fire department.
Okay, perhaps a few slight exaggerations, but frankly not by much. And because she and I have basically grown up in an industry that doesn't recognize the word "no", we became addicts for "yes". And with our addiction came a new role as enabler. Because a lot of the time, we know you, bridey, are wrong, and we know that we should say "no", but we can't. It's like a drug. It's a need. And part of it is a personal challenge, and the other part is because we don't understand our peers in the industry who are even able to utter the word "no". I can't associate with them because they are not addicts. They don't understand my need for the high of "yessing" and succeeding.
But, just like addicts of a different nature, you have to hit bottom to achieve clarity. You have to "yes" to the point where you can only say "no". And it's fucking hard. And it's something we deal with every single day. Because no matter what the industry standard is, sometimes you just have to say "no... you're wrong... I can't help you with that." OUCH!
So brideys, please help us stop enabling you. Know that we have your best interests at heart even when it's time for us to say "no". Know that we are dying to say "yes", but we don't want to set either one of us up for failure because THAT my dear bridey, is not an option. Got it?