So… I had a wedding cancel for the second time in my career a few months ago. I have been holding off on writing about it, out of respect for my bride, and while I wasn’t as heartbroken as she was (obviously), I was definitely sad and shocked so thought it was only right give it a little time before I spilled the beans. Because, this bride? Well, she is one of the good ones; a total Bitchless Bride who I care about and who very well may read BB so I didn’t want to add salt to the very open wound by writing about it too soon.
The reason my bride is so raw is because it the groom called it off, and did so 11 days before the wedding. ELEVEN DAYS. Just like that... CANCELLED! Holy fucking brutal. But, as sad and shocked as I was for the bride, I couldn’t help but wonder if she knew that it was a possibility; that she knew deep down that this dude wasn’t right for her and simply chose to ignore the signs. I know, what a bitch! How could I even suggest that she KNEW?!! Because if she did know, then why go through the motions? Why progress with the wedding plans? Why kill yourself with all of the personal touches and DIY aspects if it was never going to happen? Right? Why not just walk away and quit while you’re ahead?
I’ll tell you why… Because it’s fucking hard to walk away from a life that you have known for six years. It’s comfortable, it’s easy and clearly she thought that whatever “it” was would pass. If this bridey knew, then it was on a subconscious level. Or maybe it was top of mind, but either way after hearing some of the deets (provided by the bride’s sister), I’m quite sure that the writing was on the walls. In fact, I think the walls were COVERED. And that perhaps she knew (on some level), that the outcome was inevitable, but chose to dismiss the obvious.
Here’s the thing. What he did was abhorrent. I despise what he did. Especially after all of the work that went into the details, but at the same time, I applaud him too. At least he didn’t leave her standing at the altar completely shell-shocked and publicly humiliated in front of her friends and family. I really do hate to say it, but it takes balls to call off a wedding (I mean, obviously it would have been a conversation worth having well before a wedding was in the works) but, it beats the alternative... a life that would have been a lie. Because no matter how you look it at it, it’s completely a lose lose situation.
Bridey, the reason why I am sharing this heartbreaking story is because if you are ignoring that little voice in your head (that we all have, but only sometimes listen to), then it’s time to turn up the volume. Actually, crank it. And the sooner the better. Because the closer and closer you get to your wedding it will be that much more difficult. Will there still be heartbreak and sadness? Of course, but it won’t be as debilitating as eleven days before the wedding. Got it? Good.
Image via Cory Nikkel