Five Reasons NOT to Surround Yourself with “Yessers” While Planning Your Wedding

She’s the friend that tells you that your glitter nail polish should be reserved for a seven year old little girl. She’s the friend that sides with your sig other when you’re whining about an argument you had last night because he was actually right. She’s the friend that tells you that you don’t need the waffle when you can get the fried chicken by itself. This friend, bridey? This friend, is your real friend who tells you the truth even when it isn’t exactly what you want to hear, and she’s absolutely who you need around while planning your wedding. Contrary to what you might think, you don’t need a gaggle of girls (and boys too) “yessing” you to death and agreeing with all of the shit you say as you plan your wedding because it can drastically slow you down and prolong your decisions instead of helping you come to the right one. But, the top five reasons why you shouldn’t surround yourself with “yessers” while planning your wedding?

1. Because a yesser is so worried about upsetting the contrived facade of a happy bride planning her incredible wedding that she is afraid to tell you that you’re being ridiculous when you are in fact being ridiculous. It’s important to have your friends tell you that surpassing your budget by three thousand dollars on your wedding dress is stupid. Or that nobody can really tell the difference between chartreuse and lime green linens so make a decision and move on. This friend doesn’t concern herself with worrying about your precious bridal feelings (I mean, she’s not an asshole either), but instead, focuses on being a true friend and helping you make tough choices.

2. Because a yesser is phoning it in, and sometimes it’s by accident. Ever “yes” somebody just so they’ll shut the fuck up? Seriously, if you answered “no” to this question, then you’re totally lying. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I have definitely “yessed” somebody simply to end a brutal conversation or avoid a disagreement that I didn’t feel like engaging (no pun) in. And you know what, bridey? This brand of yesser? She’s not necessarily mean spirited, just not interested. Perhaps you’ve included her in your bridal party and she’s not into it, but felt badly declining. So rather than immerse herself in lengthy conversations she doesn’t care about, she says “yes” just to shut you up. If you feel like you got yourself one of these, then cut the cord. Trust me, you’d be doing both of you a favor!

3. Because some of these yessers? They’re not really your friends. They’re followers. They are only there because everybody else is doing it. And, unlike the followers you have on instagram, twitter, facebook, etc., this yesser is a follower because they don’t have a mind of their own so they need to do what everybody else is doing. I mean they might not even like you or care that you’re getting married! They’re superfluous; they’re redundant; they’re a stupid waste of a bar stool and cocktail. Okay, that definitely came out a lot meaner than I had anticipated, but still all true. If you’re smart bridey, you’ll steer clear of this follower.

4. Because a yesser feeds you when she should be encouraging you. It’s like an intertwining of bullshit, and frankly, it gets confusing. Bridey, your friends should be helping you be decisive and true to yourself during the wedding planning process, not simply yessing you because that’s what they think you want to hear. It’s counterintuitive. A real friend will help you focus on what’s important, has your best interests in mind, but will tell you the truth too.  

5. Because some yessers? Well, they like to be “yessed”, so they will yes you to death if you allow it only because that’s what they think you want. If you suspect that this is happening, then it’s your turn to be honest and let then know that you value their opinion and truly need it so please stop the bullshit.

Bridey, we are all intuitive. And, trust me when I tell you that you know who these people are, and by having them “yes” your every move you will only make your wedding planning more difficult. So don’t. Consider this a cheat sheet, and if you even think that one of your friends falls into any of these categories either confront it immediately or purposefully leave them out of your inner circle. Got it? Good! Stay bitchless!

Photo by Sam Manns on Unsplash