Bridey, do you have you ever have those fights in your head that never (thankfully) actualize in real life? You know what I mean… You set your internal stage for this big emotional “fight”, including (but, not limited to) each and every possible witty retort, amazingly shrewd comebacks, and “told you so” jabs, although when the real situation presents itself, all of the energy you put into this big to-do typically ends up being completely moot (totally love this word!). You have these unfounded expectations about what something will be or should be, but the truth is, you have no idea what to expect, so you automatically expect the worst. Right? We all do it. And, how many of those imaginary altercations actually happen in real life? Probably none. So, instead of being present and enjoying the present, you spent the last hour, or day or week wasting your energy on this bullshit concoction. How fucked up is that?
I hate to say it, but I see this kind of thing all the time in wedding planning. There’s this BIG expectation, this BIG feeling built up of what it should be like, or what you should be doing/feeling/experiencing, and because most of you haven’t done “it” before, the truth is, you really have NO idea what to expect. All you know is what you’ve absorbed via what I call, wedding osmosis. Wedding osmosis is the shit you’ve mentally stored away based on what you’ve seen at weddings you’ve attended, photographs you saw on Pinterest or Insta, or blogs, etc.… So, how do we adjust your reality so that you can enjoy preparing for this big event instead of building it up to be something terrifying? How can you start with a clean slate? Trust me, it’s possible, but you have to be willing to let go of your coo coo internal dialogue and start small. But, how?
Bridey, imagine entering the world of wedding planning without any preconceived notions? Zero assumptions. Clean slate, baby… What if instead of starting the process with these great expectations, you started the process with no expectations? HOLY SHIT! Could you do it?! Yaaaaassss you can! Ditching your wedspectations will create wedding planning bliss and change your experience tremendously! Because, it’s really simple. Just dare to go at your own pace. Dare to filter out the noise, and fuck the “rules”, fuck the pressure, and fuck anybody who attempts to wedding shame you about all the shit you are or are not doing. You do you. Period. By squashing your own inner beast and limiting wedding osmosis, you can take charge of your plans on your terms without going crazy, broke, insane and friendless.
There’s so much pressure for you and your sig other to get started planning at this ridiculously feverish pace, that not only will you forgo enjoying your engagement, but you won’t take the appropriate time to learn what the hell you should be doing to build a beautiful day. Hitting the ground running is one thing, but simply hitting the ground is something totally different. Baby steps will still get you to the end, and you’ll be better for it. So, take a deep breath. Take one day at a time, and ditch your expectations. I promise, you’ll be absolutely amazed at the outcome.