Posts in Grooms
The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Don't Ignore The Writing on the Wall

So… I had a wedding cancel for the second time in my career a few months ago. I have been holding off on writing about it, out of respect for my bride, and while I wasn’t as heartbroken as she was (obviously), I was definitely sad and shocked so thought it was only right give it a little time before I spilled the beans. Because, this bride? Well, she is one of the good ones; a total Bitchless Bride who I care about and who very well may read BB so I didn’t want to add salt to the very open wound by writing about it too soon.

The reason my bride is so raw is because it the groom called it off, and did so 11 days before the wedding. ELEVEN DAYS. Just like that... CANCELLED! Holy fucking brutal. But, as sad and shocked as I was for the bride, I couldn’t help but wonder if she knew that it was a possibility; that she knew deep down that this dude wasn’t right for her and simply chose to ignore the signs. I know, what a bitch! How could I even suggest that she KNEW?!! Because if she did know, then why go through the motions? Why progress with the wedding plans? Why kill yourself with all of the personal touches and DIY aspects if it was never going to happen? Right? Why not just walk away and quit while you’re ahead?

I’ll tell you why… Because it’s fucking hard to walk away from a life that you have known for six years. It’s comfortable, it’s easy and clearly she thought that whatever “it” was would pass.

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Why I Love a Fake Wedding Band

Above... The fake wedding bands I carry in my emergency kit. 

I lost my wedding band. Seriously, I can’t find it anywhere. And I have to say that my hus has been pretty cool about it and hasn’t started to freak out (yet) because I tend to leave my “valuables” around the house. But, I was heading out for dinner and drinks with the girls, and felt weird leaving rockin’ only my engagement ring. Soooo… I dug into my emergency bag (you know, THE emergency bag? The one I use on your wedding day bridey…) pulled out a fake wedding band, and wore it with my engagement ring. And you know what? It’s shocking how real it looked next to my diamond. But, that’s not the point… The point is as I was gazing down at my fake wedding band bling, I remembered the story of Tim and Jessica, and the reason why I started packing fake wedding bands in the first place.

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It's a Nice Day For a White Trash Wedding

I need to write about something funny after watching the horror from last Friday, and the news coverage from the weekend. Like most of you, I’ve spent the last few days digesting the complete evilness of one disturbed human being, and continue to be in shock and deep mourning for the people in Connecticut. So, I’m sharing with you a story that is so incredibly trashy, that you can’t help but laugh. And I think we all could use a good laugh right now. Right? Actually, if I’m honest, I swore that I wouldn’t write about this experience because of how trashy this wedding was, but now… I just don’t care. So enjoy this real life anecdote about a batshit crazy bride, her completely drunk husband and her very rich daddy.

 

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5 Myths About Grooms that Never Fail to Make Me Want to Bang my Head Against a Wall...

***STORY SUBMITTED BY NEWLYWED, KAREN ROSE***

Dear BB,

I am absolutely itching to get a rant off my chest about being grateful for grooms. Here it is…

As a newlywed whose groom was super helpful during the wedding planning of our (key word being our) wedding, I feel the need to say a few words (see: rant) in defense of under appreciated hubbies-to-be everywhere. While I’m eternally grateful to my man for all his help leading up to the big day, it seems that not only are grooms totally underrated when it comes to wedding planning, they are often actively discouraged from lending a hand!

Here are 5 myths about grooms that never fail to make me want to bang my head against a wall...

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Happy Anniversary to My Sneaky Love... Why I Still Love You.
Today is my (our) anniversary. And the sad part? Neither of us remembered. Right? Pathetic! But, in our minds, it will always be the Friday after Thanksgiving... in Vegas... Who needs the actual date when you have Vegas? We eloped. Just him and me. And if you want to know more, then read BB's 5 Reasons Why I Eloped over on the Huffington Post, but now it's time to explain how we pulled it off, and the secret to why we still love each other so fucking much. So get out your notebook brideys, because I am about to spill the beans on two very important, life changing topics; sneakiness and love. Yeah, usually they don't mix, but in this case it was meant to be. 
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I'm Still in Recovery
Today I feel sick. Today I feel sad. And I know what this is all about... I have the after-wedding hangover. Irregardless of how much I fucking hated this bride, I worked my ass off for over a year making all of the details fit perfectly into this colossal event. I mean, I worked with her for sixteen months. SIXTEEN MONTHS! And even though she was a total bitch and pretty much every moment I spent with her was excruciating,
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Practice Makes Perfect?

I can’t seem to get a conversation I had with one of my grooms out of my head, so I thought I’d share it with you. And brideys, you might want to sit down for this one because I’m guessing that this might hit a nerve… 

A few weeks ago I was meeting with a lovely young couple (like 25 years old young) getting married next spring. And after we finished discussing the details, the bride excused herself to “go pee”. When I looked up from my notes, I seriously thought the groom was going to lean in for a kiss because he was practically on top of me.

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Stay Together... Not Just Forever
I woke up incredibly annoyed this morning. I don’t really know why, but I am, so bear with me as I write what will probably turn out to be more of a rant than a post. You see, I’ve been thinking a lot… too much actually about what I do for a living and how people who are not in “the industry” ALWAYS glorify what my job is really like. People constantly say that I should write a book based on how much crazy shit I have seen and continue to see at weddings. And you know what? Instead of a book, I prefer the Bitchless Bride blog. Because with this blog (I thee wed… HA! Sorry! It was there, so I took it!) I am able to educate you brideys and still reap the cathartic benefits of writing (which I desperately need today). But at the same time, your education is IMMEDIATE and free. And here’s another educational series for you to digest as BB continues to educate you on bitch prevention, and this time it’s about staying together.
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Grooms and Your Bottom... Line

Does this sound familiar to you? You have all of the details planned, you are about to sign on the dotted line for 10K worth of absolutely stunning linen, chiavari chairs and stemware when out of nowhere, the groom swoops in and squashes your dream with his mighty checkbook (duh, I know nobody actually writes checks anymore, but it sounded better, okay?).

I know the feeling… You see as a planner, I see this ALL the time! And no matter how many times I tell you ladies to enlighten your grooms about the REAL budget, somehow you fuck it up. So, we go on several appointments, and the bride says, “Yeah, yeah… this is amazing. Let’s move forward with our design”.  And right as we get to the “alter”, the dream fizzles because the groom looks at the price tag and says, “No fucking way am I spending 10K tablecloths”!

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