Surprise!

An Amazingly Bold, Art Deco Meets Vaudeville Styled Shoot Filled with Some Seriously Awesome "Entertainment"

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Bridey, I have been DYING to share this styled shoot with you! Like DY ING to share this... Not only because it's fucking FAB U LOUS, but it's colorful and unique and striking and cool and different and kickass and contains a shitload of inspiration! And, did I mention that there's a contortionist? A FUCKING contortionist! OMG, can you imagine if you had a contortionist at your wedding? Oh, and there's a bearded lady and a burlesque dancer and a cake that makes me want to dig out my pasty bag and start decorating! I.CAN'T.EVEN.

Look, bridey, do I think it's realistic for you to incorporate all of these fascinatingly surprising elements into your wedding plans? Not at all, but I dare you to give yourself creative license to have fun, and break out of the traditional wedding planning mold. You have my permission to go a little cray... Seriously, just think about the conversations your guests would be having about a burlesque dancer or contortionist taking over the bar at your wedding? Combine that with a photo booth? Yeah... And, just like that, your wedding goes from standard to stupendous. Think about it... Enjoy, and be inspired!

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See what I mean about the cake? Totally insane!

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You'll never see a movie theater in the same way again!

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So romantic!

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A gorgeous burlesque dancer and the red carpet lady...

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Look closely... RIGHT? See the bearded lady + contortionist! WOW!

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I am in awe. Probably one of my favorite pics ever on BB!!!!

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I want to frame this pic. For real.

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Yes! A million times, YES!!!!!

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Luscious. That's the only word that comes to mind... FUCKING LUSCIOUS.

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To all of the FABULOUS industry peeps who put this incredible styled shoot together... THANK YOU for sharing with Bitchless Bride!!!!

Industry Peeps:

PhotographerTuan B & Co
Concept, Design + Event Planning: Fierce Productions
Furniture Rentals: Strangelovely
OtherNew Moon Chicago
Cinema + Video: Whitney Cinema
Place Settings: Vintage Place Settings
Hair Stylist + Make Up: We Only Do Pretty 
Cake: Bon Vivant Cakes
Invitation Designer: Spilled Ink Press 
Jewelry: Hopscotch & Soda
Groomsman Attire: Richard's Fabulous Finds
Millinery + Veil Designer: Debra Shirley
Bride ApparelEdith Elan
Floral Designer: Sprout Home 
Event Venue: Logan Theatre
Bearded Lady: Alma, Draqqueen

Fantasy Friday ~ Grandma the Pimp! Oh! And a Beautiful Destination Wedding with Stunning Post Wedding Pics!

Does that say "Grandma the pimp"? Yup! It sure does! Christa and Nicolas met because the bride's grandmother is a longtime friend of the groom's parents. Upon meeting Nicolas at a party, Grandma knew immediately that Christa would connect with Nicholas. And when the B finally met the G, they fell in love! I mean... How cool is that??!! And, as crass as I can sometimes be, GRANDMA named herself the pimp, not me! Seriously, I think I'd get along well with Grandma!

Outside of their unique and fun story, Christa and Nicolas threw a fabulous destination wedding! I'm loving the simple and stunning details, I'm obsessed with Christa's dress (and frankly, her great ass... Don't judge me, you'll see!), and I'm psyched to see how the B+G spent the day after their wedding. Enjoy this fun and FAB wedding!
Clearly, these 'maids have a great time together!!
Remember how I said Christa had a great ass? See what I mean? A GOR GE OUS wedding dress to go with her fabulous ass!
Is he pulling on his beard?
Proud papa!
Now, who do you think is in the top left corner weeping with joy? 
Now, THAT'S a photo booth!
Great final wedding day pic!! Now, get ready for a glimpse into the day after!
Um, not a bad way to spend the day after your wedding, right?
Wedding rings!!!
That's hot (Holy fuck! Did I just quote Paris Hilton? Sorry!)!
Thank you for sharing your super fun wedding day and kickass post-wedding photographs with Bitchless Bride!!!

Industry Peeps:

Photographer: WeddingDayStory
Event Venue: Valentin Imperial Maya

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Bitchless Bride is Having a Baby!!

It's true! My life is about to be rocked, and this time not by a needy, bitchy bride, but by a needy (potentially bitchy) baby. I'm scared and excited, but most of all I feel completely elated. And, just like anything else in life, it was hard work to get to this point (put it this way, bridey, I could write a fertility blog peppered with pregnancy complications!), but here I am; I made it through, and realized that I am stronger than I thought I was... Kind of like you. The wedding planning is a bitch, but totally worth in the end. Well, so is this... And for many of you, pregnancy and babies are the next step in your lives following the wedding.

So, wish me luck! And don't miss me too much... Thinking BB will be back up and running by the end of August. In the meantime, bridey, I have put together a summer reading list (fan faves and my faves) for your reading enjoyment and education:

1. From Strapless to Fabulous! ~ This one kinda pissed some people off...

2. My Very Own Fantasy... Wedding!

3. The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Defending Your Right to Choose... The Guestlist ~ Talk about HEATED & CRAZY! The comments (43 of them) from the Erica & Trevor's Real Wedding were absolutely abhorrent. 

4. The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ 5 Tips on How to Not be a Bridey Bitch ~ The cartoon makes me laugh every time!!

5. The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Why It's Important to Hire a Wedding Planner ~ Sorry, but, DUH!!!!

6. Real Wedding Wednesday ~ A Rustic, Outdoor, Dinosaur, Tattoo & Kickass Cupcake Wedding 

7. The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ What if Your Wedding Vendors Review You, Bridey? ~ Probably one of my favorite posts to date... Would you change your attitude if you knew you were being reviewed?

8. Real Wedding Wednesday ~ A Warm, Gorgeously Romantic, Washington Wedding

9. Fantasy Friday ~ A Super Glam & Gorge, Masquerade Themed Styled Shoot ~ This is SO FUCKING COOL!

10. Real Wedding Wednesday ~ I Found Myself in Wonderland... An Alice in Wonderland Inspired Wedding ~ WOW! Just wow!!!

That's all I got, bridey! I'll still be tweeting, pinning and FaceBooking, so feel free to reach out to BB while I'm on hiatus! Got it? Good! Stay Bitchless! 

XO,

BB

Baby Image via Medical Daily

Music and Lyrics

Music and Lyrics... What can I say? I LOVE LOVE LOVE this stupid movie! And of course I LOVE Hugh Grant, but that’s not what I want to write about. However, this movie got me thinking about song lyrics, and about how many weddings have I worked and attended where the first dance music was about divorce, breaking up or death. Right? Oops! Yeah, that’s a serious fuck up.

Hmmm… what songs are you talking about Bitchless? I’d sure like to avoid them on my big day. Well, bridey here a few popular first dance songs that could make you cry, and for all of the wrong reasons:

Kardashian Style

So, I’m just sayin’… I don’t blame Kim for calling it quits after 72 days of marriage. I know I’m like a little bit late (okay, like a lot late or whatever) writing this, but I can’t stop thinking about it, so I thought I’d share the Bitchless point of view on the topic. If Kim Kardashian wasn’t Kim Kardashian, and she was more like you or me or somebody without a shitload of money, fame and beauty, we WOULD feel badly for her and the situation she got herself into. But, because she IS Kim Kardashian, and she does have the money, fame and beauty, the press and every bride getting married crucified her for her decision to get out of a marriage she knew wasn’t right; quickly.

Oops!!!

It was a beautiful day for a summer wedding. The air smelled sweet, the sun was shining and there was a light breeze to cool off the sweaty groom. The photographer led the bridal party outside for some lovely shots in the park when, all of a sudden a gust of wind carried the bride's dress across her face kissing her freshly painted lipstick. As I raced to my emergency bag for a remedy, I came back to find the bride.... Laughing? Huh? WTF? Wake up Bitchless, you MUST be dreaming… But, I wasn’t dreaming... I was wide awake, and listening to the sound of laughter. And you know what that bride said to me? "Now I know the dress is really mine." I shit you not. And I was baffled. Like SERIOUSLY fucking baffled.