Attitude

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ What if Your Wedding Vendors Reviewed You, Bridey?

I had the opportunity to work with a truly amazing bride this weekend. She was friendly, organized and considerate of every single person who had a hand in the wedding planning. Totally Bitchless. And as I was placing the final touches at the venue, and bullshitting with the DJ, both of us said how great it was working with her because as we both know, it could go either way. And after a few traded horror stories about crazy, bitchy brides of the past, he said, "Wouldn't it be great if we could review them?" I stopped in my tracks... Holy fucking shit. It would be great if we could review our brides. It might even be life changing, for vendors and brides alike. How?

Well, think about it, bridey... If there was an outlet, similar to Yelp, WeddingWire, etc. where following your wedding, your vendors could write a review about you and your behavior/attitude while planning, would that impact how you conducted yourself? Wait! Before you answer the question, allow me to keep going for a bit... What if this outlet was powerful enough to alter the course of your professional life? Similar to the way a negative review can wreak havoc on our business, a negative review could potentially ruin a fantastic job opportunity for you, bridey (like it does for us), get you fired (as it can for us), and completely soil your reputation as you know it.

Imagine if a potential (or even your current) employer "Googled" you, and could read about how you treated your wedding vendors without hearing "your side of the story". Scary, right? Pretty fucked up? Yes! Because in their eyes? These reviews reveal a lot about how you behave under pressure, and how you treat people in the process... Bridey, if you were a raving lunatic or even had one looney moment, you'd probably have some explaining to do or maybe you'd miss a chance to land the next big career move; pretty damaging for some of you. Right?

Now, bridey, answer the question... If there was a site for vendors to review brides in the same way you very publicly review us, would that change your behavior during wedding planning? Would it change how you treat people knowing that your behavior and conduct could leave a lasting impression not only on your vendors, but on your career too?

Image via Box University Blog

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Bitchless Bride's PSA #2... Be Pleasant While You Plan

In October of 2013, I wrote a post called Bitchless Bride's PSA. It was all about how we as a society (both in "the industry" and outside of it) tend to let the assholes win. It's like, whoever makes the most noise gets the prize simply so that we can shut them up. And while, it still pisses me off that we are so quick to bend over for the dickhead who threatens the precious equilibrium, the other part of my PSA was to give more love and attention to those clients who actually deserve it. The clients who are lovely and respectful, but just need some help with the logistics or design of their wedding. So, today, I thought I would dive into who those people are, rather than focus on the assholes.

Over the last few weeks, I have been lucky enough to have had lunch with a few fellow wedding planners, and as the conversation flowed (as it always does when you put two chatty women together), it came down to rooting for the underdog. Huh? The underdog? Yes!! The underdog, the nice bride (clearly, a bride who reads BB!). The chick who has kept the same persona since the day she hired us. The girl who sometimes starts her emails with, "I'm so sorry to be high maintenance, but...", although she is not high maintenance at all, or the one who feels badly about potentially being needy, but who isn't. Those girls!! "We" as planners, totally root for you! You are the ones we want to bend over backwards to help! You renew our love for what we do, and in a world of assholes, you have no idea how powerful your niceness is!

I have been preaching this for years, bridey. YEARS! And, with each chatty conversation I have with my peers, it's so clear to me that I have been on to something. BE FUCKING NICE! I mean... It's something we all learned in kindergarten and seem to have forgotten as we have aged. Bridey, you will get so much more out of your wedding vendors (and people in general) if you're pleasant while you plan. And you know what? This is universal. Everybody I know feels the same fucking way. 

Around the time I wrote Bitchless Bride's PSA, I had been re-reading a few posts from October 2012, and seriously felt sick. Because in 2012, I was absolutely writhing from the grips of a terrible client I had worked with for over 16 months. She was a fucking beast, and I should have fired her, but I was in way too deep... And, we (wedding planners), have all had one of those clients. The ones we totally bend over for, simply so that she will shut the fuck up, and go away for a bit. After the wedding, I was definitely questioning why I plan weddings for bitches who don't appreciate the hard work that goes into each event (hence why it is so important for the good ones to renew our love for our profession), and I vowed that I will never get in that deep again; that I would fire the next bitch who made me feel as though I am anything but her equal.

Every single wedding planner I know has a story like mine, bridey. And it baffles me. Because, it's so much easier to get what you want (and even get a few things comped) simply by being pleasant while you plan... Got it?

Image via vivanspace