Bride

How to Get Past the Stupid Shit People Say About Your Wedding Planning (and You), and Survive!

It’s no secret that people say stupid shit, right? I mean, sometimes I am absolutely dumfounded at the pure stupidity uttered from people who generally mean well, but can’t seem to find the right sequence of words to string together to make what they are  TRYING to say purposeful and/or helpful. And, oftentimes, the “offender” will recognize their error in judgement almost immediately (probably after seeing you cringe), put their foot in their mouth and apologize, but those other times… Oh my Gaaawwwd! UGH! The “offender” is completely clueless, continuing on with their judgy diatribe of words, leaving you to pick up the pieces of your pride and self worth. Am I right? Did you just picture a few “offenders”? So, how can you, bridey, get past the stupid shit people are inevitably going to say to you about your wedding plans (and you personally) at a time when you are at your most vulnerable?

Here's some of the stupidest shit people say — and the solutions:

The Complimenter: This is by FAR my favorite insultingly awesome “compliment” I hear my clients grieve over (usually for weeks).

Offender: “Oh my goodness! You look great! You’ve definitely lost A LOT of weight.” You see, this seems and feels like a compliment, however the implication is that you had A LOT of weight to lose, and that you were a giant fat ass prior to losing all of this weight for the wedding.

The solution?: Reinterpret the statement as, “Oh my goodness! You look great! You’ve clearly been working hard.” Because, in my heart of hearts, bridey, I know that this is what the “offender” meant to say. It’s just that they didn’t say it tactfully, which means you have to change how you hear it.

The Comparer: When the “offender” is trying to stir the shit… This bitch knows exactly what she is doing, and is purposefully trying to get you riled up.

Offender: “Wow. When I planned my wedding, I had all of my vendors lined up within weeks of choosing the date.” OR “I already had all of that stuff done at this point in the planning.” The implication here is that you are way behind the eight ball, and you’re fucked; your wedding is fucked, and she’s better than you.

The solution?: Rise above, bridey, rise above! Walk away from this conversation, and rid yourself of the bullshit comparison. Even if you ARE feeling behind in your wedding planning, you don’t want to engage with somebody who isn’t there to help you, but would rather compete with you. So, don’t compete. And, the good news for you slackers (kidding), is that being behind in your wedding planning doesn’t mean you won’t catch up. And fast. A lot of the time, all it takes is an hour or two to sit down, get yourself organized, and then knock things off of that “to-do” list.

The Inquisitor: We all have these people in our lives. They are super inquisitive, super annoying, and super nosy. Quite simply, they ask too many questions and don’t know when to quit.

Offender: “Your ring is huge! I can only imagine what your wedding budget looks like…” OR “How much is this whole ‘wedding thing’ setting you back?” OR “How does it feel to be the last of you friends getting married?” See what I mean? Too many fucking questions! Rude ones! Insensitive ones!

The solution?: Other than saying nothing and walking away? Or being an asshole (I give you permission, but…)? Don’t use seven words when four will do (totally stole this line from Brad Pitt in Ocean's Eleven)… Be short and concise as you gently tell the “offender” to mind their own business. You don’t have to answer these questions, bridey. In fact, please don’t. Shut it down, and move on.

The Diminisher: This one KILLS me. Like scrape me off of a busy road, kind of kills me… The diminisher has a tendency to make you feel small for caring as much as you do about your wedding (and the planning).

Offender: “I don’t know what the big deal is… It’s just one day.” Holy shit! Hold me back! Buuuuuut, the thing is, I actually agree with the “offender” because it IS just one day, and your marriage is about so.much.more than the day itself. However, it is a stressful, expensive and emotional day, and to downplay the enormity of it gives me rage.

The solution?: Don’t give in. Don’t let the “offender” get away with that bullshit, while at the same time don’t sink down to their level. There is no need to justify this statement. Simply say that it’s important to you, and they don’t have to understand.

The “Ought-er”: The ought-er is somebody who generally means well, but has a strong opinion about what you should be doing.

Offender: “You ought-a look into getting your haircut before the wedding.” OR “You ought-a make sure you have the budget for the extra flowers.” OR “You ought-a BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!” We get it, and perhaps you’re right, but whenever anybody starts a sentence with “you ought-a”, I immediately tune out because I am annoyed.

The solution?: Tune it out like I do. The ought-er is usually a nice person who has your best interests in mind, but doesn’t express it well. So be polite and take the “ought-er” with a grain of salt.

Bridey, you are doing great! It’s super important for you to ignore the stupid shit people say as you plan your wedding. 99% of the time, it’s them, not you!!! So, keep your wits about you, and continue to slay the cray!!!

Photo by Sweet Ice Cream Photography

How Getting “Dumped” Pushed Me to Hustle Even Harder

***This post is a slight departure from my norm... It's about me, bridey, and how I got dumped. Enjoy the glimpse into my last month or so...***

I got dumped. Let go. Discarded. Cut loose. Walked out on. Abandoned. Left high and dry. You get the point… But, no matter how many different ways I write it, it still feels the same. Shitty. He said “I know you’re a hustler, and will continue to drum up new fans and interest…” but, obviously he didn’t want to be there to help me cultivate it. Apparently, he didn’t want to hustle in the same way that I had to. But, didn’t he get it? I never asked for this or wanted to be “a hustler”. I am just a wedding planner + blogger with some (pretty cool) ideas; possibly game changing ideas for an industry that is worth about fifty-seven billion dollars annually, and no experience getting them in front of television networks. So I started exploring, or “hustling”, and I started to make some fantastic headway with and without him. “Him” being my ex-agent. Yup, the dude who gave up on me. The dude who said that, “I’m obviously a big fan and wish you the best of luck on next steps,” but, (in a nutshell) take my name off everything that links back to me… Yeah, clearly a big fan.

OUCH. That hurt. That stung. Right? Nobody likes being dumped. Even if it’s not personal, just business, it still feels personal. And, instead of looking at the situation and seeing that perhaps we were never really a good fit (it was just my only fit), I started to question my drive and ability. Actually, I started to question everything. I mean, isn't that where go when we get dumped? We look internally instead of at the big picture? We doubt ourselves instead of looking for a different angle or perspective?

I did. I started asking myself, what the fuck I was doing… Who the fuck did I think I was to have ideas worthy of being heard by networks; networks who had the ability to help turn ideas into reality? But, then I decided that I have two options. Quit, because somebody gave up on me, or keep “hustling” because that’s who I am, and I truly believe my ideas can make a difference in an industry that is in desperate need of some change. So, after regressing (sitting on my front stoop and smoking a cigarette), I stopped wallowing in my own disappointment, and decided that I am going to continue to hustle the shit out of my FAB ideas, and keep on going. I was definitely going to smoke one more cigarette, but then I was going to throw the pack out, get up and GO!

But, how? How do you get up and go when every inch of you wants to quit? How do you recover from even wanting to quit? You know how? You just fucking do it. And, you know what? We’ve all done it before. Seriously… How can you ever succeed if you quit? You won’t even get the opportunity (yes, I said opportunity!) to fail if you throw in the towel before you see what you’re capable of! In all honestly, there have been several times I have wanted to quit when things felt uncomfortable or unobtainable (or I was working with a brutally painful bride), but I pushed through, and I somehow made it to the other side mostly unscathed, mostly untouched but definitely not unmarked. And, I am stronger for it. We all are, and in a way, we owe it being dumped or disappointed. I can’t shake the feeling like I am here (on earth) to do something fantastic; dare I say life-changing, and if I quit, well then shame on me. 

So, after trashing “the dumping email”, I started over, and began hustling, again. I took a closer look at what I wanted, and started looking in the right places and for the right people, instead of settling for anybody who will have me. Because me and my big ideas? Well, they’re totally not worth settling for…

Image via Hello Nell

An Amazing Photoshoot Turns into a Shocking Proposal!

Rhiannon, that stunning model with the beautiful headpiece up there, kinda got punked. Seriously. What was meant to be a photoshoot, quickly turned into something much different then she expected. Rhiannon and her boyfriend, Michael, were just going to "model" for Jodi, the photographer. Rhiannon was happy to help because she was going to get some FAB pics of the two of them out of the deal. Little did she know that Michael and Jodi had been in cahoots (Yup! I totally just used that word!). Bridey, I don't want to ruin the big "reveal", so I'm going to shut up now. All you have to do is scroll down to see how it all played out. Enjoy!!

Rhiannon, I fucking love your wings!! My six-year-old daughter is aching for some herself... I mean, who isn't?!!

Seeing B+Gs (well, almost a B+G) laughing together makes me super happy. I have gotten through so much with my hus simply because we do a lot of laughing.

Here we go! Jodi put them back to back, and asked that they look in different directions so that Michael could get down on one knee with the engagement ring.

Like... How fucking cool is it that B+M will have their actual engagement captured on film?

I love how Rhiannon is looking at Jodi like, "OMG! You totally knew about this!"

Thank you Rhiannon, Michael and Jodi for sharing this fantastic shoot + engagement with Bitchless Bride! LOVE LOVE LOVE it!!

Industry Peeps:

Photographer: Double You Photography

Bitchless Bride Wedding Coaching is Here!!

Woot!! I am SO fucking excited to share my new endeavor with you, bridey! You should be excited too, because it's all about helping you as you start your wedding planning journey, and keeping on track! Scroll down (on the Homepage) to learn more about how I can help you plan your wedding. 

XO,

BB

But, It's My Day...

I wrote this in 2012 and chuckled when I re-read it today. I have some big plans for Bitchless Bride (you'll see next week!), and while I have several Truth Hurts Tuesday ideas swirling in my head, I haven't had one second to sit down and write them. So, please enjoy this funny and truthful post from 2012 because as far as I know, this mentality (sadly) hasn't changed much in the past few years:

***

We all know it’s your day. You’ve done nothing but remind us and we are really excited for you. But don’t fuck it up. Don’t get so wrapped up in your day that you forget to take care of us. We are your guests. And we count too. So if you are planning on a black tie event in a remote location with a long break between the ceremony and cocktail reception, then we don’t want to come.

Consider what the average guest spends on a regular wedding. Plane tickets, hotel accommodations and a gift… This can cost up to $1,000.00 if not more. But, a black tie event in a remote location can really hurt! Still have the plane tickets, hotel accommodations and gift, but now we have to throw in a rental car, valet parking, tuxedo rental and a new dress. Ouch! So when you keep chanting that it’s your day, you need to respect thatyour day becomes our expense. Don’t get me wrong, we are thrilled to be present as you say your vows and celebrate with you, but we want to feel as though you have considered our needs.

It’s not just the money we spend to participate in your big day. It’s the flow and feel of the wedding. I know that you want to attend your cocktail hour AND take pictures without missing a thing, but to schedule a break after the ceremony and before the cocktail hour leaves us in flux. What are we supposed to do in the interim? Where do we go? What do we eat? What do we drink? NOTHING. That’s what we do. We make small talk with the other guests in the lobby or wherever all well wishing we had a drink in our hand and a hors d’oeuvre in our belly. But nooooo… you had to take pictures for 2 hours, and we are stuck waiting and withering away. Okay, I’m exaggerating, but nobody likes to wait, not even for you.

So be thoughtful. Think about the guest experience. I know that seeing each other before the ceremony is considered a faux pas, but think about it. Take your pictures first so after the ceremony you and your groom can join the party! A lot of my couples are taking this approach so that they can enjoy the whole day, and so can their guests. Trust me, if you’ve made it through the planning without calling off the wedding, seeing each other before you say “I do” won’t be the straw. It’s really simple, treat others the way you’d like to be treated, and stop being a bitch!

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Which Came First, the Bride or the Bitch?

Bridey, the timing of this article is not an accident. With stupid Valentine's Day just around the corner (not to mention the millions of girls who were engaged over the holidays), several once well-behaved girlfriends will turn into entitled, bitchy brides-to-be. I'm not quite sure where the transition from nice, sweet girlfriend to crazy, bitch bride (aka: Bridaldemia) takes place, but there is a serious fucking breakdown somewhere, and it needs to stop. And, I, Bitchless Bride, am determined to put an end to using your newly achieved bridal status as an excuse for shit behavior. 

But, here's the thing? Which came first, the bride or the bitch? Seriously, did these new brides start off as bitches or were they given an excuse; a free pass to be a bitch simply for being a bride? Are the newly engaged (girls) just owning up to the expected behavior that society has justified? I was thinking about this the other day when I was engaged (forgive the pun) in a super awkward conversation with a woman who knows I don't like her. Of course, my mind immediately went to, "Damn, I bet she was a real beast while planning her wedding," but, then I immediately decided that she wasn't salvageable. I'm positive that she was a bitch from the get-go. And, some of you brides start off as bitches, but I find it hard to believe that all of you do!

Let's talk more about this "expected behavior". I believe that it all starts innocently enough. Bridey, you're engaged! YAY! It's super exciting, and the beginning of a new stage in your life. But, with that stage comes uncertainty, and with uncertainty comes fear and stress. And, when the fear and stress kick in, the little girl inside of us begins to rage. And, that is when the bitch is cut loose. However, instead of putting a leash on that crazy bitch, she's celebrated. Right? I mean, there are fucking television shows which follow this crazy bitch around, just to see how rude she'll be to the next person in her path, and that makes it okay somehow. So, why cage the animal? Right? It's okay... She's a bride... Well, you know what? Fuck that!

It reminds me of how I was when I was pregnant. I wasn't a bitch, but I was eating for 25. I swear, I was on the cupcake and mac-n-cheese diet (and it was awesome). I mean, wasn't that expected of me? I was creating a human being for Gods sake, and needed the endurance to make him strong, right? Wrong. In reality, all I really needed was an extra 300 calories a day (like a glass of whole milk), not a whole fucking cow! But, I was pregnant, and every time I turned around somebody was excusing my behavior. Similar to how we excuse the heinous behavior so many brides. But, my cupcake addiction was a hurdle that I had to overcome once I had the baby; I wasn't hurting anybody else except myself. But, as a bride behaving badly? You're actually hurting people. 

I know it sounds dramatic, but it's true. Bridey, you have no idea how your behavior can change the course of somebody else's day, week, year or even life. I started Bitchless Bride because of how one bride made me feel. ONE BRIDE. That bitch made me question everything I had ever known professionally, and I worked with her for 16 months. SIXTEEN FUCKING MONTHS. And, based on the conversations I have had with other professionals in the wedding industry, I'm not alone. We have all had at least one bride who made us doubt how good we really are.

So, bridey... Which bride are you going to be? Are you going to see what you can get away with because it's expected of you, or are you going to harness the bitch, and be kind? Surprisingly, it's your choice.

Image via Wedding Bee

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Bridey, Please Don't Throw an Engagement Party Only for the Presents...

Not gonna lie... This story horrified me. Like H.O.R.R.I.F.I.E.D. me. One of my esteemed colleagues in the industry told me about a bride who actually asked her to help her plan an engagement party for the sole purpose of receiving presents from her guests. I know! WHAT the fuck is that all about? I mean, I don't know this bride, but I already hate the bitch... What are we, five years old? You only want the party for the presents? Wow. Really, bridey? Talk about not respecting your guests... And, it gets worse... Just wait for it.

Well, not only did this crazy chick want to host an engagement "party" specifically for the loot, she was only looking to spend, drumroll please.... $15/per person. OMFG! REALLY? So, in case you're not clear, this bitch was going to host a "party" with minimal food, obviously a cash bar, and no entertainment so that she and her fiancé could completely take advantage of the poor people invited to this shitty little shindig. This is an all time low for me, bridey, and it wasn't even my bride! Because if it were? I'd tell her to find a new wedding planner. 

Let's do a little simple math, shall we? Let's say 75 guests attend the "party" (I can't help but use quotes simply because this is totally not a real party.) So, 75 x $15 = $1,125.00. Hey big spender... Really? So, basically, this girl is willing to waste everybody's time hosting a "party" (that, let's be honest, nobody wants to go to...) with like two passed hors d'oeuvres (if they're lucky) per person + a cash bar simply because she wants the presents. Seriously? What a bitch! Look, I don't care how much money you have to spend or not, bridey, but $15 per person is just not enough to call a party. PERIOD. And, this bride? Well, she clearly knows it! I mean... You're better off putting it towards your wedding and forgoing this lovely affair.

Bridey, if you're desperate enough to pull a stunt like this, then, for the love of God, please go about it differently. Don't punish the very people you're hoping to steal, I mean receive, gifts from. Spoil them. Or at the very least, make them believe that you're spoiling them. Open your house to them, serve them some decent food and wine, and ask a friend to create an awesome playlist to set the mood for the evening. You'll spend less money, gain more respect, and get those damn presents all without offending anybody with a cheap, shitty "party".

One question I'd be asking myself (quite seriously) if I were you, bridey, is why you're so focused on the presents? Could the need for the presents potentially be a mask for a deeper issue? Are they your reward for marrying your sig other? Is focusing on the gifts a way for both of you to receive something that you're not currently getting from each other? I know it sounds crazy, but when I hear shit like this, I have to take a hard look at the couple, and wonder what's missing? Why are they so unfulfilled? Because, the alternative? Well, it's that people really are selfish enough to throw an engagement party simply for the gifts.

Image via Huffington Post

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ FLASH BACK: Gynecologically Speaking

***I needed a good laugh today. Soooo... I thought I would share this post from 2011 not only because it's funny, but because it's educational too. And because my mom was probably the only one reading Bitchless Bride back then, I'm assuming that most of you probably haven't seen this masterpiece. Enjoy and learn, bridey!***

December 22, 2011:

So, I’m just sayin’… I know that we don’t talk about the amount of sex that everybody has on his or her honeymoon, but we should. I know that you will be busy relaxing and reminiscing about your perfect wedding day on that beautiful tropical island you have jetted off to, but you will also be busy getting busy too. So be proactive! Make an appointment with your gynecologist before your trip, and ask him/her to give you a script for a UTI infection (that you fill prior to your trip) to take with you. There is nothing worse then being away from home, especially in a foreign country, and having an issue “down there”. Better safe than sorry!

And on that note… don’t forget to take your pills, insert your birth control, use a condom, etc. You don’t want to come back from your honeymoon with more then a tan.

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ When the Bride Knows More Than Her Planner... REALLY??

I had to share this vendor vent with you, bridey. And, I had to put it front and center because I think it's safe to say that pretty much every wedding planner I know gets frustrated when the bride (or the couple) thinks she knows more than her planner. It's irritating. It's annoying. It's fucking grounds for dropping you as a client. Seriously, bridey, don't bother hiring a wedding planner if you're going to challenge her/his every move. Do it yourself. Be a DIY bride, and I'm not talking about making your own centerpieces; I'm talking about planning your own damn wedding.

Written by Mrs. Peacock:

Hello! OK, so, I love your blog. As a planner, I feel like it should be required reading for all my brides and grooms. (Ahem... Me too!!) Thanks for giving us vendors a place to commiserate.

Anyways, one of your posts - Bridey, Don't Go Away Mad, Just Go Away!, really resonated with me.

Yes. So. Many. Times. Yes.

How I wish I followed this advice and my own intuition with my last bride + groom. You know those couples who think that they know how to plan a wedding better than their planner does? They often go hand in hand with the my wedding has to look exactly like this million dollar wedding but at a tiny fraction of the price couple? And so often, throughout the planning, you know that these people are going to find reason to be upset about something, so what's the point in bending over backwards to try to make them happy? The type that treat you like you are their personal assistant that they have always wanted to have just to abuse? The ones who flat out refuse to listen to your (and all the other vendors!) skilled advice, and then when things don't go according to plan (just as you told them it would) precisely BECAUSE of their own ill advised choices, they berate you for it? Yeah, it was one of those couples.

I knew I should've walked away in the early stages but I didn't because -and here's the kicker- they were friends of mine. Friends of mine who had hidden the entitled vicious privileged brat side of them very well over the years. Friends of mine who clearly viewed the roles of Bride and Groom as tyrannical King and Queen. And yes, I've learned my lesson working with friends now. But the point is, had I just walked away from what was clearly going to be a losing situation, I could've saved myself a lot of stress, time, heartache, and unfortunately, a friendship.

- Mrs. Peacock

***

Basically, bridey? If you hire a wedding planner, then it's up to you to decide to trust her/him. Make a conscious choice to trust her/him, just as you would with any other professional you hire in any other aspect of your life. If not, then plan it yourself.

Image via Friar Tux Shop

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Bitchless Bride's PSA #2... Be Pleasant While You Plan

In October of 2013, I wrote a post called Bitchless Bride's PSA. It was all about how we as a society (both in "the industry" and outside of it) tend to let the assholes win. It's like, whoever makes the most noise gets the prize simply so that we can shut them up. And while, it still pisses me off that we are so quick to bend over for the dickhead who threatens the precious equilibrium, the other part of my PSA was to give more love and attention to those clients who actually deserve it. The clients who are lovely and respectful, but just need some help with the logistics or design of their wedding. So, today, I thought I would dive into who those people are, rather than focus on the assholes.

Over the last few weeks, I have been lucky enough to have had lunch with a few fellow wedding planners, and as the conversation flowed (as it always does when you put two chatty women together), it came down to rooting for the underdog. Huh? The underdog? Yes!! The underdog, the nice bride (clearly, a bride who reads BB!). The chick who has kept the same persona since the day she hired us. The girl who sometimes starts her emails with, "I'm so sorry to be high maintenance, but...", although she is not high maintenance at all, or the one who feels badly about potentially being needy, but who isn't. Those girls!! "We" as planners, totally root for you! You are the ones we want to bend over backwards to help! You renew our love for what we do, and in a world of assholes, you have no idea how powerful your niceness is!

I have been preaching this for years, bridey. YEARS! And, with each chatty conversation I have with my peers, it's so clear to me that I have been on to something. BE FUCKING NICE! I mean... It's something we all learned in kindergarten and seem to have forgotten as we have aged. Bridey, you will get so much more out of your wedding vendors (and people in general) if you're pleasant while you plan. And you know what? This is universal. Everybody I know feels the same fucking way. 

Around the time I wrote Bitchless Bride's PSA, I had been re-reading a few posts from October 2012, and seriously felt sick. Because in 2012, I was absolutely writhing from the grips of a terrible client I had worked with for over 16 months. She was a fucking beast, and I should have fired her, but I was in way too deep... And, we (wedding planners), have all had one of those clients. The ones we totally bend over for, simply so that she will shut the fuck up, and go away for a bit. After the wedding, I was definitely questioning why I plan weddings for bitches who don't appreciate the hard work that goes into each event (hence why it is so important for the good ones to renew our love for our profession), and I vowed that I will never get in that deep again; that I would fire the next bitch who made me feel as though I am anything but her equal.

Every single wedding planner I know has a story like mine, bridey. And it baffles me. Because, it's so much easier to get what you want (and even get a few things comped) simply by being pleasant while you plan... Got it?

Image via vivanspace

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ A Crazy, Drunk Groom, a Naked Bitch and a Cinco de Mayo Witch

Let me start off by saying that our company must have some sort of magnet for the crazies.

Crazy #1, "The Drunk Groom"

Our company was hired by a bride and groom for their rental items. They requested delivery and set up the day before (nothing out of the ordinary). We arrived late afternoon the day before as promised with every item they rented. Set up was perfect, all good to go. Around 11:00pm that night, my phone rings. It's the groom. He's screaming that we were late and that the color is not at all what he wanted. It took us a while to actually make out what he was saying between the screams and slurred speech. My husband takes the phone and tries to explain that it is impossible for us to be late...everything was already set up and your wedding is tomorrow. And as far as the color, what are you talking about you saw the swatch beforehand. Somehow this man thought that it was going to look different in the room. He then demands that we switch out everything for a different color, which is impossible since it is now 11:30pm on a Friday. 

We try to explain that this is the color they ordered, we even send pictures of our linen swatches to show him. This only infuriates him more; he claims that he wants my husband to go there right now so he can kick his ass. Yes, this man on the night before his wedding is trying to fight us. My husband tells him to calm down, he's getting married tomorrow, and everything they ordered is there and ready to be used. The groom goes ballistic saying "How dare you f***ing threaten me?! You piece of sh**! You scumbag! I'm going to find you RIGHT NOW!” My husband responded, "Ok then, see you soon." We never heard from him again. 

The day after their wedding this man is supposed to be on his honeymoon (it was a destination wedding) enjoying his new bride, but no. He takes to the internet viciously bashing us everywhere he could, claiming the owner threatened him, we refused to help them, we were late to their wedding, and that everything was filthy. This was in 2012.

It is now 2014 and the man continues to stalk our company. Every few months we will receive notifications that he is updating his review or publishing reviews on companies that he thinks are related to us. 

Crazy #2, "Crazy Naked Bitch"

We were hired by a woman for a party at her home.

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ REALLY? A Bride Ties a Baby to her Wedding Dress?

OMG? WHAT the fuck? I had a whole other THT prepared (which you will see next Tuesday), but after I read this story on Buzzfeed, I literally dropped everything so that I could weigh in on this ridiculousness. Bridey, in case you missed it, check out this link. Yeah, apparently, the bride wanted her one month old baby girl to be part of the wedding ceremony; to be with her as she went down the aisle, so instead of I don't know, CARRYING her, she tied the baby to the train of her wedding dress, and dragged her down the aisle. Can I get an OMG, WHAT THE FUCK?! Right???

Look, I'm not trying to be a hater. You know that's not how I roll. In fact, I spend a ton of time writing about how to make your wedding your own, how to ignore the "noise" and the bullshit and I truly try to push you, bridey, to do what's important to the two of you on your wedding day. And, for those of you who already have children together (or from another relationship), awesome! It's a fabulous idea to include them in your wedding ceremony or even have them walk you down the aisle! But, adhering your children to your wedding dress? I'm sorry, but that's all sorts of fucked up. Not only that, but it's dangerous! Your wedding dress is long, and your shoes are high. And sometimes, shit happens and a girl can lose her balance. Yeah, that alone is not pretty, but at least you're not putting anybody else's safety at risk; certainly not a four week old baby.

Some people are suggesting that the authorities ought to get involved, but I disagree. While I think it was an incredibly stupid idea, I don't automatically connect the dots, point my finger at the bride and deem her as an unfit parent. Perhaps the hormones got the best of her and she really believed that the baby was "covered by Christ". Or perhaps she really, really thought it was a good idea to drag her newborn behind her. Whatever the case may be, it was not a good idea; it was a terrible idea. And I don't think I am the only one who thought so...

If you look at the pic on Buzzfeed, there is a gentleman on the edge of the aisle who clearly looks horrified... You can definitely see "what the fuck" written all over his face. So, my question (or two) is why the hell didn't anybody suggest that the bride carry the child with or instead of her bouquet? Why didn't anybody mention to the bride that the baby may get injured, or that it would be plain stupid and fucking weird to drag her down the aisle? I dunno, but having a very young child behind you (instead of in front of you or next to you) in any situation seems dangerous. But, to do it intentionally? That's fucked up.

What do you think? Haters gonna hate? Or just a really stupid idea?

Image via The Bridal Bar