Why You Should Act Like Your Mother is Your Wedding Planner

If there was a word that is the equivalent to saying that a bride is a bridezilla, but in real estate, what would it be? For instance, if the agent's client is a royal pain in the ass and "difficult", how would she/he be classified? I guess we could just say the the client has a 'zillatude and most people would understand, right? But, that's not the point. The point is, I'm selling my house and purchasing another one, and I've been told that I am being difficult like "how brides get". Holy shit. Ouch! The only difference in this particular circumstance? My agent is my mother.

My agent is my mother. I felt like I needed to repeat that statement so that you can grasp the full enormity and effect of the situation. Is my mom allowed to call me difficult to my face? Yes. Does it suck? Yes. But, the Bitchless Bride in me kind of liked that she called me out on my shitty behavior. I mean, it still sucks whenever your mom calls you out (especially as I am approaching 40 years old!), but it needed to be done. I was definitely not being respectful simply because I was stressed and felt overwhelmed, but that doesn't give me carte blanche to be a bitch. Right? Right. Sound familiar, bridey? 

I have always said that as much as shitty bridal behavior kills me, I understand where it comes from. The amount of money being spent, the ever changing and painstaking logistics, the family dynamics, etc. It's a lot to manage and can throw even the most level-headed person over the fucking edge. But, wouldn't it be nice if we, your wedding vendors, could call you, the bride, out openly and without kid gloves just like my mother did when I stepped out of line? Because, more often than not, sometimes being called out is exactly what it takes to snap out of the craziness and back into normalcy. It's like being slapped across the face (and, oh boy do I wish that was an acceptable way of snapping a bride out of it!) and knocked back into to reality. Right? Suddenly you realize what an asshole you were being and therefore you stop behaving like one. I mean... Seriously! What would your mother think of your attitude and antics?

But, and there's always a but, not every vendor is your mother who can set you straight and actually have you listen. So, when things get stressful and you feel completely out of control, out of sorts and out of your fucking mind? You, bridey, have to ask yourself, "What if my mom was my wedding planner?”. Mine? Well, put it this way.... After I apologized for my shithavior (yeah, I totally just made that word up), I asked her what she thought the equivalent word/phrase would be for bitchy real estate client in (relation to what my industry would deem a “bridezilla”), and she said, “Client from hell"!! Obviously, a jab at me because of my bad behavior, but at least she had the luxury of doing something about it. And you? What would your mom do if she were your wedding planner, and you were her client from hell?

Image via Scott Webb

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Which Came First, the Bride or the Bitch?

Bridey, the timing of this article is not an accident. With stupid Valentine's Day just around the corner (not to mention the millions of girls who were engaged over the holidays), several once well-behaved girlfriends will turn into entitled, bitchy brides-to-be. I'm not quite sure where the transition from nice, sweet girlfriend to crazy, bitch bride (aka: Bridaldemia) takes place, but there is a serious fucking breakdown somewhere, and it needs to stop. And, I, Bitchless Bride, am determined to put an end to using your newly achieved bridal status as an excuse for shit behavior. 

But, here's the thing? Which came first, the bride or the bitch? Seriously, did these new brides start off as bitches or were they given an excuse; a free pass to be a bitch simply for being a bride? Are the newly engaged (girls) just owning up to the expected behavior that society has justified? I was thinking about this the other day when I was engaged (forgive the pun) in a super awkward conversation with a woman who knows I don't like her. Of course, my mind immediately went to, "Damn, I bet she was a real beast while planning her wedding," but, then I immediately decided that she wasn't salvageable. I'm positive that she was a bitch from the get-go. And, some of you brides start off as bitches, but I find it hard to believe that all of you do!

Let's talk more about this "expected behavior". I believe that it all starts innocently enough. Bridey, you're engaged! YAY! It's super exciting, and the beginning of a new stage in your life. But, with that stage comes uncertainty, and with uncertainty comes fear and stress. And, when the fear and stress kick in, the little girl inside of us begins to rage. And, that is when the bitch is cut loose. However, instead of putting a leash on that crazy bitch, she's celebrated. Right? I mean, there are fucking television shows which follow this crazy bitch around, just to see how rude she'll be to the next person in her path, and that makes it okay somehow. So, why cage the animal? Right? It's okay... She's a bride... Well, you know what? Fuck that!

It reminds me of how I was when I was pregnant. I wasn't a bitch, but I was eating for 25. I swear, I was on the cupcake and mac-n-cheese diet (and it was awesome). I mean, wasn't that expected of me? I was creating a human being for Gods sake, and needed the endurance to make him strong, right? Wrong. In reality, all I really needed was an extra 300 calories a day (like a glass of whole milk), not a whole fucking cow! But, I was pregnant, and every time I turned around somebody was excusing my behavior. Similar to how we excuse the heinous behavior so many brides. But, my cupcake addiction was a hurdle that I had to overcome once I had the baby; I wasn't hurting anybody else except myself. But, as a bride behaving badly? You're actually hurting people. 

I know it sounds dramatic, but it's true. Bridey, you have no idea how your behavior can change the course of somebody else's day, week, year or even life. I started Bitchless Bride because of how one bride made me feel. ONE BRIDE. That bitch made me question everything I had ever known professionally, and I worked with her for 16 months. SIXTEEN FUCKING MONTHS. And, based on the conversations I have had with other professionals in the wedding industry, I'm not alone. We have all had at least one bride who made us doubt how good we really are.

So, bridey... Which bride are you going to be? Are you going to see what you can get away with because it's expected of you, or are you going to harness the bitch, and be kind? Surprisingly, it's your choice.

Image via Wedding Bee