Crazy Bride

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ ***FOLLOW UP POST*** - A Sometimes Sweet, Sometimes Snide Jekyll and Hyde Bride

Bridey, have you found yourself curious as to how the Jekyll and Hyde bride I told you about in December made out? Has she gotten married? Did I fire her? How was her wedding day? You know, the bride who was SUPER sweet and awesome one second, and then a crazy bitch the next? Well, if you weren't you curious, then you should be because it's juicy. It's meaty. It's dirty. Actually, it's fucking nasty. And, the reason why I'm sharing it with you is so you can learn how NOT to behave if you have issues (or imaginary issues) on your wedding day. Because, bridey, how you handle yourself post-wedding is just as important as you you handle yourself during your wedding planning, particularly if you're looking for compensation.

Unfortunately (for all of us), this bridey bitch was not in a state of euphoria on her wedding day. Quite the contrary... She was emulating Mr. Hyde with her bitchy, self-important bullshit attitude. So, needless to say that her wedding day didn't end well for anybody; vendors and bride alike. Frankly? It was a shitshow (TOTALLY wished I fired her in December!), and the only one to blame is the bride herself. She single-handedly ruined her wedding day with her crazy 'zilla behavior and demeanor. The worst part is that after all of the hard work that went into planning the specifics for "her day", this bridey will have a skewed perception of how her wedding day actually went down. Because the way I see it, there is nothing I'd have done differently. And, I'm not being defensive (let's just say, I'm not the one who took the brunt of the crazy), just honest.

Which leads us to today. She is looking to be compensated for her "losses" (still trying to figure out exactly what those losses are!), and if she doesn't get her way, she is threatening scathing reviews "all over social media oulets". Come the fuck on! Right? Instead of having a conversation, she's hiding behind email, and threatening everybody in her path! WHAT the fuck? SHE is exactly why I wrote "What if Your Wedding Vendors Reviewed You, Bridey"...

It's not in my nature, but I am dying to "leak" her three page email (somewhere where her employer will hopefully see it) listing how she was "wronged" on her wedding day. Does she really think that threats and her loony antics will get her what she wants? I doubt it. In fact, I think it will have an adverse effect... Or at least, I hope it does. 

Bridey, there you have it... I will write a follow up post, to my follow up post, as the bullshit progresses. Godspeed (for all of us).

Image via Bernie Siegel, M.D.

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Bridey, Don't be Mental... 10 Behavioral Characteristics to Avoid While Planning Your Wedding

The other day, I tweeted that I've been brunching so much that I really think I am subconsciously aspiring to be a "lady who lunches". But, how could I leave all of this? (I say super sarcastically...) Leave all of you? I mean, what would my life be like without you crazy bitch brideys? The truth is, I couldn't leave planning (and know how to function). And, that fact became brutally clear to me during brunch yesterday as I was surrounded by some of my favorite peeps in the whole wide world. Actually, not the whole wide world, but in my world; "the industry". You see, all of us work in hotels or private planning and deal with the craziness of the hospitality culture, the constant need to say "yes", and the brutal hours. But, as we got to talking it became clear to me what I needed to write about today. You! And, your cray cray attitude.

Bridey, based on the anecdotes and sheer hilarity that took place during brunch, I thought I would give you a few tips on how not to be mental while planning your wedding! So, here it goes...:

10 Behavioral Characteristics to Avoid While Planning Your Wedding:

1. Entitlement: Bitch, please... I don't work for you; I am attempting to work with you. I am your vendor. I am the chick busting my ass at a fancy hotel, or country club or I'm a private event planner, photographer, DJ or or or... And all I am trying to do is help you achieve "the dream". So, knock off the bullshit, drop the entitlement, and let me do my job... Without hating you. Trust me, nothing pisses us off more than some bitch who thinks she is better than the rest of the world. You'll get more out of your vendors if you're nice. PERIOD.

2. Moodiness: Look, we're women... And, I've heard that we tend to get a bit moody when we're stressed. Right? But, as your vendor, I am not your punching bag or your Xanax. And you know what? I can be just as moody as you, bridey, but I have mastered the concept of "faking until I make it". Have you?

3. Perfectionism: I strive for perfection too (um, I'm what they call super detail oriented), bridey, but I also know when my best is good enough. And, I suggest you start learning how to do the same. It's really amazing, but you can have the "perfect" wedding day, and still have shit go wrong. Seriously, I think every single recently married bride will tell you the same thing. And, I know that with the amount of money you're spending, comes pressure for perfection, but please remember, above everything else, comes the person you are marrying...

4. Irrationalism: Do I really need to say more? Bridey, when you feel yourself starting to go off of the deep end, go for a walk, workout, get your nails done or whatever... Basically? Take a break and use the time to think things through. I promise, the craziness will pass if you give it chance. But, you gotta give a little.

5. Procrastination: Procrastination fucks us all up. Your wedding vendors, that is. Bridey, if you procrastinate, then it slows down the entire process for all of your wedding vendors. It's a total domino effect, and it all starts with you. For instance, if you need to make a decision regarding your floral arrangements, do it. Now. If not, you may not get what you want on your wedding day. And, then you put your florist in the position to rush an order or feel as though she is harassing the bride. Not good. (And, not for nothing, but, if you're renting linen, a lot will depend on your arrangements, etc., hence the domino effect...)

6. Indecisiveness: Indecisiveness can be just as annoying as procrastination. It's like you're procrastinating because you're indecisive, and, that's fucking annoying.

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Enough is Enough! Quit Texting Me, Bridey...

So, I took a brief hiatus from Bitchless Bride because I seriously thought I was going to lose my fucking mind if I had to deal with one.more.thing. I mean, I absolutely LOVE BB, but I just couldn't get my shit together enough to put anything (well, of quality) on my site. Know what I mean, bridey? Sometimes it all adds up, and you just HAVE to let something go. So, that's exactly what I did. I put BB on hold for a week to regroup. And in retrospect, perhaps the tip of the iceberg for me the texting bride. Oh dear God. This one... This bridey... She really IS lovely, but without boundaries. And boundaries, my dear bridey, are important.

It started innocently enough... She said that due to the nature of her work, texting (as opposed to communicating via email/phone) was the best way for us to stay in touch. At first, I had no problem with it. She would text a few quick questions, I would text her the answers and that would be that. But, then it began to morph into an entirely different animal. She would text me at 5 AM, she would text me at 10 PM on a Sunday, she would text me knowing that I was away for a long weekend with my husband. Honestly? I couldn't tell if it was entitlement or complete ignorance. But, considering how much I adored this bride initially, I had to believe that it was pure ignorance. Right?

Right! She wasn't entitled, just ignorant! Which is actually so much better than being entitled (in my humble opinion)! Seriously, thank goodness my first impression wasn't completely skewed! Because I HATE when I misjudge somebody. Totally makes me feel like a rookie. Anyway... What was I going to do? Ignore her! Well, sort of... But, I did get in the habit of only responding to her texts during "business hours". It was the only way I could get the message across without being a bitch (though it was super tempting!), and ultimately, she caught on.

Bridey, you know it's not like me to avoid confrontation. Truly, I wasn't being a wuss and completely avoiding a necessary conversation with my text-crazed bride. I just wanted to try responding to her on my time, instead of hers, before opening a can of quite possibly some messy worms. And, you know what? It worked! No worms required.

Most importantly, what I learned from this experience (that I'm hoping you'll absorb too) is that the next time a client suggests texting as the preferred method of communication, establish boundaries, and immediately.

Image via Elite Daily

Bitchless Bride Video #15 - A Bride's Guide to Restaurant Management

Thinking about planning your wedding at restaurant? Well, you're going to want to watch this before you do... Allow me to provide some insight into what most restaurant owners think about weddings...