Clearly some of you, brideys, just don't get it. Actually, you STILL don't get it because I've been trying to teach you how to avoid this behavior since BB's inception. You just go on your entitled way, copping your bullshit attitude with the people who are trying to help you. And, it's pissing me off. But, more than that, I'm getting frustrated and annoyed. With every five clients, there is always one who makes you question why you help people in the first place; why you still play in "the industry" and why you care so much about somebody else's wedding.
Because it's the same shit, different bride. And, this time, it nearly through me over the fucking edge. Seriously, when I received her panicked message about how "her" venue had the audacity to host another party prior to her wedding, "and how could they do that?" and "there is no way there is going to be enough time for them to turn over the space to make my wedding perfect", I literally jumped up and down in frustration in my office. Nice mental picture, huh? BB, throwing a fit... And then, I became super grateful that I didn't answer the phone simply because she probably would have fired me for the tongue lashing I most likely would have spewed at her. Here's the thing, bridey. Based on her simple decor, minimal equipment and sheer number of guests, the venue could have booked twelve parties prior to her wedding, and it wouldn't have mattered.
The crazy thing? It all comes down to trust. Yup, it's a trust issue. Had this bride taken a step back and thought about the situation, she might have come to the realization that not only would I not let her down, but neither would the venue; an establishment who has been hosting events, parties and weddings for years. Because the one thing about those of us who have been around this industry for some time is that no piece of business is worth jeopardizing reputation and unleashing the wrath of a bride. Especially now with all of the outlets for public reviews (like Yelp!, etc.) and potential for a bride to chastise her vendors.
Brideys, this has got to stop. I feel like every few months we have to revisit this topic, and every time we do, I get just as annoyed as the time before. So, for the millionth time, ahem… “BRIDEY, STOP THINKING THAT YOU GET EVERYTHING FOR FREE!!”
Where is this stemming from you ask? Well, I was on an appointment with a bride the other day, and I was so super embarrassed, that it was all I could do not to scream, “ENOUGH WITH THE BULLSHIT”, or just run away screaming. And in retrospect, I probably should have run away screaming instead of trying to defuse the situation. I mean, I did actually defuse the situation, but it was uncomfortable, and oh, did I mention embarrassing? Yeah…
Allow me to set the scene… My very well put together, and obviously wealthy bride (which just makes it worse) and I were at her wedding venue discussing next steps with the event manager assisting us with the plans, when all of a sudden she went into what I call “entitled bitch mode” (EBM for short). It was like she was puking entitlement all over the place, and before I could stop her, she exploded.
It went something like this:
Bridey: “I really need you to work with us on the pricing, Kimberly (the event manager), waving her three carat diamond ring in the air. I really want the foie gras crusted beef tenderloin, but I need you to charge me the seared chicken prices.”
Kimberly: “Um….” She said with WTF written all over her face.
Unfortunately, my bride picked up on this… And, oh dear God… the EBM was revving up!
Bridey: “Kimberly, do you even realize how lucky you are to have my business? I had several venues to choose from, and I picked THIS one. So, I’m going to need you to work with me, because YOU’RE REALLY LUCKY TO HAVE ME HERE."
Kimberly glanced over at me for a little event planner to wedding planner telepathy. I got this message all right…with one look, that poor planner said told me that, “this bitch is crazy.”
As you know, one of my favorite words in the whole wide world (besides the word, perspective), is the word ENTITLED or ENTITLEMENT. And, most of the time I am quite excited when I come across somebody else expressing themselves using this word. However, this is not one of those times. In fact this time, I am actually offended by the misuse of my very favorite word, for YOU, brideys! Because you know that I am a lot of things, but judgmental is not one of them. Do I call it the way I see it? Yes. Do I sometimes offend people with the truth or the use of my colorful vocabulary? Yes. Have I been accused of being "vulgar"? Yes. And while I am all of those things, I'm not a judgy bitch.
If you find yourself asking what prompted this, here's the two cent tour... So, instead of indulging in gossip websites or even the news, I prefer to relax while reading the bridal chit chat on the wedding boards. Seriously, it relaxes me somehow. And I truly believe that it helps me be a better wedding planner. No really, I do! It's like being a fly on the wall and being able to hear all of the shit brides say that they might not say to their planner. However, as I was simply enjoying my day, trolling the boards, I came across this statement on The Knot: