Family Politics

Reboot! ~ Feeling Out of Control, Bridey? How to Climb Back Up the Downward Wedding Spiral of Despair…

It's really easy to lose yourself and your self control while planning your wedding. Actually, it's really easy to lose yourself in any large and somewhat daunting project. Right? I mean it starts innocently enough, but then it all seems to add up and up and up, and usually all at the same time. The big picture begins to feel really fucking big and unsurmountable. And wedding planning? On top of all of the other shit you have going on? Feels brutal and unforgiving. The endless details, the myriad of friends and family members offering their advice and suggestions, the constant changes and moving parts! OH MY!!! There seriously isn't enough Xanax in the world to calm your ass down! But, don't worry! That's why I have created a list of ways for you to climb back up the downward spiral of despair and kick some wedding ass! Ready?

1. Quit making it so big! Break your wedding planning down into small, manageable pieces. You don't have to have all of the answers now. Just know that you have to get them... eventually. Bridey, it’s been said that all great things take time to build. Same is true for weddings. So stop pressuring yourself to get it all done so fast. I mean... Don't be a slacker, but at the same time, don't push too hard too fast either. This is a giant undertaking; one that's expensive and emotional, and you have to break it down to be successful. Sometimes looking at the big picture can make it feel completely impossible. But, looking at it piece by piece? Totally obtainable! 

2. Be fucking nice. Be fucking nice to everyone whether they’re involved in your wedding planning or not. If what you put out is what you get back (the law of cause and effect), don’t be a nasty bitch. Seriously, I’ve been preaching this shit for years! Be nice! This is probably the easiest “fix” on the list because it’s so simple. Think about it… If you’re a nasty bitch, then inevitably you can expect to be greeted with nasty bitches in return. Right? So don’t be a bitch! You get more bees with honey, so be sweet, and delicious and golden. You’ll be amazed at how your wedding planning experience changes, and quite possibly your life too.

3. Ask for help. If I had to guess, I’d imagine that since you’ve been sporting that rock on your hand, you have had several people offer to help you… Right? So, take them up on it! Get some help! Bridey, there is no shame in asking for help and delegating tasks. Just be sure that you trust the delegates. 

4. Stop! You can totally drop and roll if you want, but I just want you to stop. Stop beating yourself up. Stop thinking about what you should be doing, could be doing, or what you didn’t do. Just stop, bridey. Stop the negativity. Because one thing leads to another and next thing you know you’re in a full blown panic over something stupid, something negative, and something completely ridiculous, and it can catapult into this monstrous snowball of negativity super fast. But, it can only have power if you give it power. So just STOP. Think about what you’ve accomplished thus far, and be proud. 

5. Be patient. Be patient with yourself, the people trying to help you, and your fiancé. When shit feels unbearable, be patient; take a step back. Find a distraction (that isn’t wedding related) that makes you happy and delirious. What do I do? I bake and then lick the bowl (and eat the cookies, but enough about me!). Just remove yourself from the situation, and be patient.

Bridey, I know what it feels like to be out of control, and feel helpless as you tumble. But, I know you can get through it! The crazy thing? These five steps? 100% applicable to your wedding planning AND your marriage. 

Feeling Out of Control, Bridey? How to Climb Back Up the Downward Wedding Spiral of Despair…

It's really easy to lose yourself and your self control while planning your wedding. Actually, it's really easy to lose yourself in any large and somewhat daunting project. Right? I mean it starts innocently enough, but then it all seems to add up and up and up, and usually all at the same time. The big picture begins to feel really fucking big and unsurmountable. And wedding planning? On top of all of the other shit you have going on? Feels brutal and unforgiving. The endless details, the myriad of friends and family members offering their advice and suggestions, the constant changes and moving parts! OH MY!!! There seriously isn't enough Xanax in the world to calm your ass down! But, don't worry! That's why I have created a list of ways for you to climb back up the downward spiral of despair and kick some wedding ass! Ready?

1. Quit making it so big! Break your wedding planning down into small, manageable pieces. You don't have to have all of the answers now. Just know that you have to get them... eventually. Bridey, it’s been said that all great things take time to build. Same is true for weddings. So stop pressuring yourself to get it all done so fast. I mean... Don't be a slacker, but at the same time, don't push too hard too fast either. This is a giant undertaking; one that's expensive and emotional, and you have to break it down to be successful. Sometimes looking at the big picture can make it feel completely impossible. But, looking at it piece by piece? Totally obtainable! 

2. Be fucking nice. Be fucking nice to everyone whether they’re involved in your wedding planning or not. If what you put out is what you get back (the law of cause and effect), don’t be a nasty bitch. Seriously, I’ve been preaching this shit for years! Be nice! This is probably the easiest “fix” on the list because it’s so simple. Think about it… If you’re a nasty bitch, then inevitably you can expect to be greeted with nasty bitches in return. Right? So don’t be a bitch! You get more bees with honey, so be sweet, and delicious and golden. You’ll be amazed at how your wedding planning experience changes, and quite possibly your life too.

3. Ask for help. If I had to guess, I’d imagine that since you’ve been sporting that rock on your hand, you have had several people offer to help you… Right? So, take them up on it! Get some help! Bridey, there is no shame in asking for help and delegating tasks. Just be sure that you trust the delegates. 

4. Stop! You can totally drop and roll if you want, but I just want you to stop. Stop beating yourself up. Stop thinking about what you should be doing, could be doing, or what you didn’t do. Just stop, bridey. Stop the negativity. Because one thing leads to another and next thing you know you’re in a full blown panic over something stupid, something negative, and something completely ridiculous, and it can catapult into this monstrous snowball of negativity super fast. But, it can only have power if you give it power. So just STOP. Think about what you’ve accomplished thus far, and be proud. 

5. Be patient. Be patient with yourself, the people trying to help you, and your fiancé. When shit feels unbearable, be patient; take a step back. Find a distraction (that isn’t wedding related) that makes you happy and delirious. What do I do? I bake and then lick the bowl (and eat the cookies, but enough about me!). Just remove yourself from the situation, and be patient.

Bridey, I know what it feels like to be out of control, and feel helpless as you tumble. But, I know you can get through it! The crazy thing? These five steps? 100% applicable to your wedding planning AND your marriage. 

Real Wedding Wednesday... Workplace Romance

First of all... I'm totally melting over these pictures! The detail shots of the flowers, the city and the food are absolutely incredible! And secondly, I absolutely love their story, because I am a big fan of love in the workplace. Samantha and Whitney met at the restaurant where they worked together and ultimately were married! It's a very familiar story for those of us who work in "the industry", and several of my friends have found "the one" at work... 

Brideys, I really want you to read question number 7, and absorb what Samantha is saying! They had a beautiful day, and wouldn't change a thing, but when I asked if anything went wrong (that she was aware of) at the wedding, what she said is something that I (and pretty much every wedding planner I know) preach to anybody who will listen... So pay attention!

So brideys, enjoy the amazing eye candy, take in Samantha & Whitney's lovely story, and enjoy!

1. How did you meet your spouse? (The short and sweet version please.)

We met and worked at the restaurant (the Blue Room) where we had the wedding. Whitney actually trained me on my 1st day. 

2. How long were you together before you were engaged? 

Almost 3 years

 

 

3. What was the length of time between the engagement and the wedding?

A little more than 2 years... 2 years and 4 months I believe.

4. Where did your wedding take place? (venue, city and state) 

The Blue Room/Belly Wine Bar, Cambridge, MA.