Wedding Ceremony

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Help! I'm Not Excited for My Wedding...

My name is Bitchless Bride, and I was not excited for my wedding. Well, until I made some major adjustments to the wedding plans. Ultimately, my hus and I decided to elope, and no, that's not what I'm suggesting for you, bridey, I'm simply saying that perhaps you need to make some adjustments of your own if you're not excited for your wedding. And, sometimes those adjustments are mental, and sometimes they're actual. But, if you're not excited for your wedding, then take a step back and get to the bottom of it before you're stuck with enormous financial responsibility and subsequently, regret.

Planning a wedding is exciting, right? RIGHT? But, it's also a ton of work... It's bascially another full time job. So, it's no wonder that some of you aren't excited. You're busting your ass with all of the details and shit still doesn't feel right. Maybe it's because there is so much fucking pressure for a wedding day to be perfect or maybe it's because you're drowning in debt, (or both) but, bridey, if you're not excited, you're not alone. Trust me, there are a considerable number of brides who are not excited for their wedding day. Why? Well, in my experience, I blame it on the three P's: Pressure, precedence and perfection.

Pressure. It's brutal. Seriously, when an entire industy, friends and family, and even strangers tell you that your wedding day is supposed to be the best day of your entire life, that's fucking stressful. It adds oodles of pressure on you for that one day to be incomparable to all of the other days, past, present and future. I mean... How are you possibly expected to live up to such an extraordinary standard? Bridey, I know that you can see beyond that bullshit, right?

I've been married for like a decade, and while I look back on my wedding day as one of the best days of my life, that's all it was... ONE FUCKING DAY (which was awesome). So, put it into perspective. Obviously, the birth of my kids is def at the top of the list (um... aside from the ridiculous pain, blood, sweat and tears...), but there have also been plenty of somewhat mundane days that have just been awesome simply because I spent it with my hus... See what I'm getting at? So, let yourself off the hook.

Precedence. This is a tough one especially if you're amongst the first of your peer group to get married. Everybody is looking at you to take the lead, and maybe you don't want the conch. Maybe you just want an intimate ceremony and small reception or maybe you want a kickass party, but no matter what you want, your wedding is going to be the measuring stick against all the rest just because you're first. Which leads to more pressure. But, you know what, bridey? Who cares!??? Let it go! As long as you and your sig other are happy with your plans and your future, then fuck the rest. Let the precedence be set, conch raised high, that you care about the marriage, not just the day. PERIOD.

Perfection. Fucking perfection. Ick. That word... I can hear one of my least favorite brides reminding me that the "centerpieces really need to 'pop', and be perfect." Perfect? REALLY? Or else what? You're not going to get married? C'mon, bridey. I agree that for the money you're dropping on flowers that they should absolutely be gorgeous, but perfect or you're going "to raise hell"? Shut the fuck up. Why don't you spend more time examining your relationship than the flowers... Nobody is perfect, and there isn't an event or wedding in the world that has been perfect. There is always some snafu (large or small), and what needs to be perfect, is your attitude about how to handle a situation when there is a hair out of place. 

Bridey, if you're not excited for your wedding, it's completely understandable. With everything we just discussed, it's not surprising. However, if you can look inward, and let go of the three P's, then perhaps you'll realize that you're anxious about the wedding day, but ecstatic about the marriage. 

Image via Becoming Mindy

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Five Truly Unique Ideas for Your Wedding... Go Ahead, Bridey (or Groomy), Dazzle Me!

So, the other day, a friend of mine showed me the most incredible wedding video. And it wasn't incredible because of some over the top, ridiculously gaudy bullshit or super lavish decor; it was incredible because it was unique and completely unexpected... for the bride and for the guests. What was it that has me so dazzled? Well, in the middle of the ceremony (right before saying "I do"), the adorable (and ballsy) groom broke out into song. Yup! This guy grabbed the mic from the officiant and started singing! And the coolest part? Well, let's just say that the groom wasn't the most talented singer I've ever heard. Honestly? I would say that his performance barely a step above karaoke, but that's not the point. The point is, he did something so fabulous, and so unexpected that nobody in attendance will ever forget it!

Oh, but it gets better, bridey! How? Well, about four or five of the guests stood up in their seats and sang with him. I mean, obviously this was planned, and probably practiced (did I mention the saxophone player?!), but what a fantastic surprise! Right? And the bride was absolutely floored! She just stood there watching with the most beautiful look on her face. Who knows? Perhaps she was horrified, but I have a hunch she was entranced and touched. Wouldn't you be?

Look, I'm not saying that you (or your groom) have to break out into song to have your wedding stand out from all of the others (although, it's a super awesome idea!); all I am saying is that if you are interested in doing something different, then it's time to color outside of the lines. Here are a five quick ideas to make your wedding a bit more unique:

1. Screw the classical music! Bridey, walk down the aisle to something fabulous... like a song with words! Stumped? Some of my faves are "Hallelujah" by Jeff Buckley or "Skinny Love" by Bon Iver (one of my favorite songs ever!) or the almost overdone, but still FAB "Marry Me" by Train.

2. Candy bouquets. Who said you need to walk down the aisle with flowers? Get whimsy! Grab a bunch of those twisty lollipops, tie them together and trot down the aisle!

3. Lose the traditional wedding food. Shock your guests and DON'T feed them chicken or beef. I mean, aren't we all a bit sick of fucking chicken and beef???!!

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ When Obama Fucks Up Your Wedding, and Other Unexpected Obstacles

I wasn't going to do it. I was going to steer clear of this one. Seriously, because Bitchless Bride is not a blog in which we share our political views, and voice our opinions and/or disdain for government bullshit. But, this is not political, it's just bullshit. And the more I thought about it, and the more I reread the article on Bloomberg (I believe they broke the news first) the more I couldn't let it go. I had to throw in my two cents about how Obama just had to "play through" his golf game even if that meant that bride, Natalie Heimel, and groom, Edward Mallue Jr., both U.S. Army captains, had to move their wedding ceremony last minute. Seriously? What the fuck, Obama?

I've read that the President had no idea Natalie and Edward were planning their wedding ceremony at the 16th tee box at the Kaneohe Klipper Golf Course. But, it all seems a bit fishy to me. NOBODY at the White House knew? Really? I find that hard to believe considering that the entire world knew that President Obama and his family were vacationing in Hawaii, and that the dude loves to plays golf on vaca... Just sayin'... And, when he (or one of his people) found out that two Army captains were planning on exchanging their vows on said golf course, perhaps the right thing to have done would have been to wait for the ceremony to end or skip the 16th hole altogether.

The other piece to this that really bothers me from a wedding planning standpoint? The disclaimer from the caterer responsible for arranging the ceremony with bride and groom. It states that if the president is in town, then "last-minute shuffling" (of the ceremony location) is a possibility. So, can somebody please tell me why they weren't proactive...