Wedding Coordinator

**FLASHBACK** When it's too Late to Negotiate

Allow me to set the scene for you... You're at some luxury car dealership signing all of the paperwork, swiping your card for the deposit and soon your fancy ass will be gallivanting around in a FAB new car! You are totally in love with it, and you can't wait to drive off of the lot and show your friends! Anyway, fast forward about six or seven months... Suddenly you decide that you really should have gone with the package which included the navigation and the sunroof, so you dial the dude who sold you the car to initiate what you thought would be some friendly conversation.  

Bridey: "Hi Dude, it's Bridey Macpherson, and I've decided that I really need to have the nav system and sunroof.

Dude: "Hi Bridey. Allow me to look into that for you."

Bridey: "What do you mean, 'look into that'?"

Dude: "Well, I know that adding a sunroof is about $700.00, and that the addition of the nav can run you about $2,000.00, but let me check with the service department and get back to you." (Clearly, I am making up these numbers!!)

Bridey: "I don't understand. I bought a car from you. I gave you my business. Surely there must be something you can do for me. I was really hoping that you could just make it happen for me."

Dude: "Sorry Bridey, but you've already paid your deposit and drove off of my lot six months ago. If I didn't sell the car to you, I'd have sold it to somebody else."

Bridey: "So, you won't do anything to help me?"

NOOOOOOO... He won't!! Because does this line of conversation seem logical to you? I mean... Would you EVER try this stunt (and expect it to work) with the dude from the car dealership? No, you wouldn't... Well, then, please don't try it with the peeps at your wedding venue. Because we are all way too nice to call you fucking crazy and ignorant (to your face), even if you are just that, a crazy and ignorant bride. Here's the actual conversation between a bride-to-be, and her friendly wedding coordinator:

Bridey: "Hi wedding coordinator (WC), I've decided that I really need to give my guests a third entrée option. Let's add the salmon into the equation. What's the exact verbiage again? My invitations are going out next week, and I want to be sure it's correct."

WC: "Bridey, I'll email you the appropriate verbiage and I'll check with the chef and get back to you with the per person pricing for the additional entrée."

Bridey: "What do you mean, WC? I don't understand... Why would there be an additional cost?"

WC: "Well, if you are looking to provide your guests a third option, you are asking that the chef prepare three separate meals, and there's an additional charge." 

Bridey: "WC, I don't know if you realize this, but we are giving your establishment a lot of business. We are practically taking over for the weekend. I really think you need to make it happen for me."

WC: "If it were up to me, I absolutely would make it happen for you, but there is only so much I can do considering that your wedding is during one of the busiest times for the property."

REALLY? I've gone through this a million times... Bridey, why on earth do you think that anybody needs to "make something happen" for you simply because you chose to give them your business? REALITY CHECK... What do you think would happen if you walked into Nordstrom and told the sales associate that because you bought expensive shoes in their store a month ago, they should just give you some sunglasses? Sounds completely ludicrous, right? Well, that's essentially what you are asking of your wedding coordinator except for some reason, it only seems ludicrous when she CAN'T "make it happen".

Bridey, if providing your guests with three entrée selections is important to you, fine. But, this is the kind of thing that must be negotiated (if it's not included) BEFORE you sign the contract. Then, if the sales person can "make it happen" for you, then they will. But, if it is the busiest time of the year for this establishment, they might just tell you "too bad" because another bride will pay the same money and have far less demands...

Image via From up North

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ FLASHBACK: I'm Not Going to Say "I Told You So"

***For those of you who have been reading Bitchless Bride for the past few years, then you should recognize this post. The reason I'm re-posting? Well, let's just say that you perhaps you didn't learn your lesson the first time around. Because 2.5 years later, although I'm working with a different bride, I find myself in a similar situation. So, why reinvent the wheel? Right? This was a fantastic post (if I do say so...) So, just read it!!! Because, bridey, I cannot stress enough how important it is to tap into the network of the people you hire to help you plan your wedding. Or else, why bother, right?***

October 2, 2012:

I'm not going to say "I told you so", even though I am absolutely DYING to scream it at the top of my fucking lungs!!! Seriously, I am aching in my soul to tell this bride that she should have listened to me. And although I am a powerful source of knowledge, and definitely not afraid to put people (brides and vendors alike) in their place, I cannot force anybody to do anything once their mind is made up.

So here's the deal brideys, please please please take this to heart. If you hire a wedding planner or have a fantastic relationship with the wedding coordinator at the venue where your wedding is being held, then do yourself and everybody a favor... LISTEN TO THEM. Take their advice, and run with it. Because we do this every day, and you don't. I would never sit at your desk and pretend to know or understand the complexities of each task you manage, so please don't pretend to know and understand all of the aspects that go into wedding planning, even though you've seen it on TV. 

Last night, I had to have an "emergency meeting" with the florist for the wedding I am producing this weekend. The worst part (besides being our 4th meeting with her in five weeks to determine direction)? I was adamantly opposed to using her from the very beginning. Although I thought her aesthetic was lovely, I had my doubts about her, hmmm... how to say this... mental state? Basically, she couldn't articluate her ideas (so that we could fully understand them from a non-florist standpoint), and by the time we finally received a contract from her, it was on a word doc, not locked and missing some key elements such as:

1. The date of the wedding.

2. Particular services rendered (kind of a big deal).

3. The groom's name.

4. Liability clause, hold harmless clause, basically ALL clauses.

5. Etc. Etc. Etc.

So, after I completely rewrote the contract to satisfy my comfort levels (ie: this bitch wasn't going to screw us by not showing up, etc.), I told bridey that I had some serious concerns. And after several rounds on the not-so-merry-go-round, bridey decided to move forward with this lovely, yet completely scattered florist.

Please brideys, part of the reason you hire a wedding planner is to take advantage of the people we know. Use us. Use our network. And for the millionth time, it's not because we get a kickback (although it is nice...), it's because we trust them to show up, to creatively produce, to provide a clear direction, and to do their fucking jobs. If my bridey had gone with a florist in my network; somebody I have worked with on several occasions, we seriously could have eliminated hours of complete anguish, and stress for THE BRIDE (and for me too, but...)

If I had more time, I would tell you about the country bumpkin photographer who is unfamiliar with the venue, and yet has not carved out time to come to the big city to do her homework, and is now freaking out. BUT, because I have to go fix and coordinate all of these details that could have completely been avoided with my trusted group of peeps, I can't get into it. 

Bottom line? Listen to the people who are trying to help. Explore every vendor in our network before using choosing to look elsewhere. And then, and only then, go find somebody else if you aren't satisfied. Got it?

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ When it's too Late to Negotiate

Allow me to set the scene for you... You're at some luxury car dealership signing all of the paperwork, swiping your card for the deposit and soon your fancy ass will be gallivanting around in a FAB new car! You are totally in love with it, and you can't wait to drive off of the lot and show your friends! Anyway, fast forward about six or seven months... Suddenly you decide that you really should have gone with the package which included the navigation and the sunroof, so you dial the dude who sold you the car to initiate what you thought would be some friendly conversation.  

Bridey: "Hi Dude, it's Bridey Macpherson, and I've decided that I really need to have the nav system and sunroof.

Dude: "Hi Bridey. Allow me to look into that for you."

Bridey: "What do you mean, 'look into that'?"

Dude: "Well, I know that adding a sunroof is about $700.00, and that the addition of the nav can run you about $2,000.00, but let me check with the service department and get back to you." (Clearly, I am making up these numbers!!)

Bridey: "I don't understand. I bought a car from you. I gave you my business. Surely there must be something you can do for me. I was really hoping that you could just make it happen for me."

Dude: "Sorry Bridey, but you've already paid your deposit and drove off of my lot six months ago. If I didn't sell the car to you, I'd have sold it to somebody else."

Bridey: "So, you won't do anything to help me?"

NOOOOOOO... He won't!! Because does this line of conversation seem logical to you? I mean... Would you EVER try this stunt (and expect it to work) with the dude from the car dealership? No, you wouldn't... Well, then, please don't try it with the peeps at your wedding venue. Because we are all way too nice to call you fucking crazy and ignorant (to your face), even if you are just that, a crazy and ignorant bride. Here's the actual conversation between a bride-to-be, and her friendly wedding coordinator:

Bridey: "Hi wedding coordinator (WC), I've decided that I really need to give my guests a third entrée option. Let's add the salmon into the equation. What's the exact verbiage again? My invitations are going out next week, and I want to be sure it's correct."

WC: "Bridey, I'll email you the appropriate verbiage and I'll check with the chef and get back to you with the per person pricing for the additional entrée."

Bridey: "What do you mean, WC? I don't understand... Why would there be an additional cost?"

WC: "Well, if you are looking to provide your guests a third option, you are asking that the chef prepare three separate meals, and there's an additional charge." 

Bridey: "WC, I don't know if you realize this, but we are giving your establishment a lot of business. We are practically taking over for the weekend. I really think you need to make it happen for me."

WC: "If it were up to me, I absolutely would make it happen for you, but there is only so much I can do considering that your wedding is during one of the busiest times for the property."

REALLY? I've gone through this a million times... Bridey, why on earth do you think that anybody needs to "make something happen" for you simply because you chose to give them your business? REALITY CHECK... What do you think would happen if you walked into Nordstrom and told the sales associate that because you bought expensive shoes in their store a month ago, they should just give you some sunglasses? Sounds completely ludicrous, right? Well, that's essentially what you are asking of your wedding coordinator except for some reason, it only seems ludicrous when she CAN'T "make it happen".

Bridey, if providing your guests with three entrée selections is important to you, fine. But, this is the kind of thing that must be negotiated (if it's not included) BEFORE you sign the contract. Then, if the sales person can "make it happen" for you, then they will. But, if it is the busiest time of the year for this establishment, they might just tell you "too bad" because another bride will pay the same money and have far less demands...

Image via From up North