Based on the title of this post, and this FAB photograph, you can totally tell that I'm a product of growing up in the late 80s and early 90s. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that some of you have no idea what the hell I'm talking about! I quoted a Mötley Crüe song... Just click on the link if you're curious (and be prepared for some really bad music). Anyway... I was chatting with a friend of mine and we decided that sometimes it's easier to tell the bitch to go away (now) as opposed to suffering through whatever may be in store for the future. I mean... Hopefully she won't go away mad, she'll just go away... Better now than a week before the wedding, right?
My friend went so far as to say that she'd PAY a particularly brutal client to get out of her life, and when I balked, she said something that struck a chord... "You can either buy happiness today, or pay the price for a bad decision in the future." Holy shit! Right? Good point! And in the wedding industry, paying the price for a bad decision can last for a long fucking time.
Bridey, this is not limited to vendors firing brides. If you aren't feeling the love with a vendor you've hired, then cut the cord and move on. Fire them. Trust me, the sooner the better. Life is too short and weddings are too expensive for you to be unhappy. I mean... Sometimes it's worth losing a little money to gain a lot of happiness.
Back in March of 2013, I wrote 5 Tips on How to Not be a Bridey Bitch. Damn, was I smart. Seriously, if all of you crazy brides read that post last year, then perhaps we wouldn't have to revisit what it means to be an awesome bride today. Because as I get deeper and deeper into wedding season, it is apparent that some of you need a refresh. And with spring wedding season right around the corner, I feel like it's my duty to educate (more like save you from yourselves) you on how to not be a bridey bitch, get more from your wedding planning, and still have friends after your wedding! So today let's revist these five tips, and perhaps maybe even learn a few more pointers on how to not be a bridey bitch!
Back to the Basics: Here we go again ~ 5 Amped Up Tips on How to Not be a Bridey Bitch:
1. Fucking... be nice. You get more sugar with honey (or however the hell that phrase goes!)... Make people WANT to help you. If you're rude, then you don't get any damn sugar. PERIOD.
I'm STILL preaching this a year and a half later. Actually, this has been my shtick from BB's inception. Bridey, the secret behind successful wedding planning? Attitude! What you put out comes back... tenfold! So, if you're nice, then the wedding world will be nice to you.
2. Don't take advantage of the perks of the industry; our industry. What are you talking about BB? Well, a few days ago, I received a short story from a fellow vendor, and part of what she wrote really resonated with me... She said (referring to a bride), "When you come in for a hair and make-up trial, and then get the stylist to do a complimentary trial on your mom and sister, you just might be taking a tad bit of an advantage. The service is for you, not for your entourage!!" Brideys, this shit happens ALL the time! You must stop assuming that everything is free! If your mom wants her makeup done, well, then she has to pay for it.
This one still pisses me off. I swear, the hospitality industry is the only industry where everybody somehow thinks that everything is complimentary simply because you are getting married and are partaking in a particular service. It's not... Fuck you. Pay me.
3. Please don't assume... What is that stupid saying? Assume: Makes an ASS out of U and ME. Bridey, if you're getting married at a hotel or restaurant, don't assume that just because you stopped by or you were "in the neighborhood" that a) we can drop everything to see you because you have arrived, and b) that we need to sponsor your cocktails and appetizers in our bar. Several people do business with this establishment. If we treated all of them to freebies, most likely we'd be fired. You are no exception.
I cannot tell you how many times this happened to me at the fancy hotel where I used to plan events. My clients would just drop in, ask for me, and then basically stand there with their hand out.
Sooooo... I almost hesitated writing about this because it's not always a guarantee, but if you've chosen your venue wisely, then frankly, bridey, you need to chill the fuck out. What is "it"? Well, if you're not down with the ins and outs of "the industry", then it can be pretty shocking and upsetting for you, bridey, if the assigned event planner (at the venue where you are getting married) gives notice. Scary, huh? Well, it doesn't have to be...
Some brides have told me that when "their person" leaves, they feel, "completely let down" and now "they can't be sure of anything". I mean, a little bit dramatic, right? RIGHT! Bridey, you KNOW that the decision to leave a job is a very personal one, regardless of the industry and no matter the position. And we all know that staying in a job that you either don't love or have simply outgrown can be toxic... for everybody.
But, in this case, I really need you to step off of your bridal soapbox and recognize that "your" event planner (at the venue) is not deciding to leave YOU, they are deciding to leave the property.
So, it's the week of Thanksgiving, and I swear that every time I turn around I see blog posts, FaceBook messages, and tweets about what people are thankful for, and why they are thankful for it. And I get it, I really do. But, as we near the actual day, I find myself getting a little bit eager to share with my readers what BB is grateful and thankful for too...
I know that I have earned a reputation for making the truth hurt, for being a tad bit bitchy and super honest, so I thought that I wouldn't go a changin' my 'tude because everybody else decided to be grateful and thankful for one day (maybe even a week) out of the year. So, I'd like to share a few painfully honest reasons why Bitchless Bride is thankful... I mean, it IS Thanksgiving after all... Mind if I share?
I'm fucking pissed off! I feel angry. I feel defensive. I feel sad. But definitely more angry than anything else. Why do YOU get to judge me and the industry that I eat, sleep and breathe?
You see my bride keeps referring my "the industry" as "you people" with a disgusted tone; almost as she is spitting the words at me as she speaks. Whenever one of "us" doesn't respond quickly enough or she doesn't like what we have to say or the price we are offering is "outrageous", suddenly we become "those people" or "that industry".