You know that saying that says you can "judge a man by how he treats his mother"? Well, I find that you can pretty much judge anybody based on how they treat animals. Right?
I totally stole "Don't Fake it to Feel it Whatever You Do" from the band, Powers, specifically the song "Beat Of My Drum". It's just so perfect, right? Don't fake it to feel it whatever you do... I mean, you can attribute this line to so many areas of your life. The wrong significant other, the wrong group of friends, the wrong vibrator (yes I did!). But, today I really want to focus on how faking it to feel it can fuck with your wedding planning, your relationship, friendships and more. Bridey, stop camouflaging how you feel for the sake of your wedding, and do something about it! I mean... Faking anything for long enough will dull how you really feel, and before you know it, you'll start to believe that the fake feeling is the real thing. And, then? You'll never "make" it.
5 Scenarios When Faking it Won't Help You Make it:
1. I think the first one is pretty obvious. You're faking how you feel about your sig other with the hopes that you will feel it someday. And while you care deeply for him (or her), the whole "marriage thing" feels more like a prison sentence than getting the chance to shack up with the love of your life for the next 75 years. I've seen it a million times, and it sucks. Trust me, it's pretty horrific to watch a bride struggle with how she feels, and then walk down the aisle. And, no matter who I am in your life (your wedding planner, your mother, your BFF, etc.) I can't say anything because it's not my place, it's yours. So, woman up, and don't fake yourself out!
2. You're faking how you feel about your engagement ring. Ouch! Sounds trivial, right? I mean, it's just a ring; it's material... It doesn't matter in the scheme of things. Wrong! Bridey, your engagement ring is a symbol of love, devotion, fidelity, etc. and, if you hate it, don't fake it. Speak up! I've had friends and clients change their rings, and it's really not that big of a deal provided you handle the situation correctly. Don't go telling your sig other that you fucking hate the most expensive gift they've ever bought. But, do tell them that you imagined the ring differently, and would they mind if you changed it. You can't fake this one, bridey, because it'll never change unless you change it.
3. You're faking how you feel about wedding planning. Every time you're asked how the wedding plans are coming along, and you lie. You tell them that, "it's going great!" or "running smoothly", but in reality you want to blow your fucking head off! Shit costs a hell of a lot more than you thought, planning is annoying and time consuming, and if your mom wouldn't have your head, you'd totally elope; you'd dump the wedding industry... So don't fake it! Bridey, you have to ask for help! If you can afford a wedding planner, then hire somebody to help you who knows what they're doing. If you can't afford a wedding planner, then ask your friends (preferably the ones who were recently married) to help you. There is no need to fake how you feel about wedding planning because you'll never make it if you don't ask for help!
4. You're faking how you feel about your guest list. This is a BIG one. SO many brides I have worked with feel like the guest list is amongst the most stressful, argument-inducing, family-war-starting, part of wedding planning. The guest list is tough. The guest list is brutal. The guest list sucks. It affects everything you touch; specifically the budget. The more people attending the wedding, the more money you spend. PERIOD.
So, bridey, if you and your sig other are paying for the wedding by yourselves, then politely put your foot down when it comes to inviting peeps you don't want on the "A" list. If you're not paying for the wedding, and you are receiving help, then you have to be flexible with the list, and then get creative when it comes to the seating plans. But, speak your mind, let go of the "fake", and be transparent. Your wedding isn't worth losing precious family relationships. Seriously, if having Aunt Ida at your wedding is super important to your mom, and she's paying for the wedding, then let her send the invite.
5. You're faking how you feel about where your money is being allocated. Totally connected to #4. Speak your mind when it comes to the guest list. Allocate your wedding budget in the areas that are most important to you and your sig other. If you love food and booze, then make cuts elsewhere. If the look and feel (design) of your wedding is most important, then go nuts with flowers, linen, lighting, etc., and be frugal with the entertainment. But, figure out what is most important to you (both) in the beginning! Be honest with yourself and your sig other.
Bridey, see how important it is to feel it instead of faking it whatever you do? Don't let your wedding plans fake you into feeling something you don't. Got it?
Image via The Unbounded Spirit
Amy and Cameron? New Yorkers! Yup! They are living in Brooklyn and had their wedding at a ranch in Nevada! Talk about a destination wedding!! Right? Why? Well, because Amy is originally from the area, and it has become special to Cameron too. And, why the fuck not? Why not have your wedding on a mountain range? If the area is meaningful to the B+G, and the wedding is about them as a couple, then how FABULOUS (and daring) are they for selecting this cool venue? I bet the New Yorkers were a little out of their element!
Bridey, when asked what advice Amy had for other brides, she said something that totally resonated with me (and SEVERAL brides who I've worked with in the past)... She said, "Though we were engaged in December and married in November, we didn't decide on the city of our wedding until about five months out. Keeping the planning window short was a huge blessing. No one needs to obsess about details for longer." Can I get a HELL YES!!! Bridey, sometimes this isn't always possible, but if you can do it, then DO IT! Enjoy the engagement, enjoy each other, and try to enjoy the planning! But, if nothing else, then please enjoy the details of this BEAUTIFUL wedding!!Cow...
WOW! Such a beautiful wedding dress!!
Um. Yes, please! Love the shoes, Amy!
Amy: The ceremony began with a welcome from Cameron's dear friend Zack, and my brother gave a blessing that captured the room. Pastor Pat Mecham administered the vows--first for our family, asking them to promise their support of our marriage, and then for us. We wrote our own vows and repeated the same promises to one another.
One of my fave pics! SO super candid!!
I'm guessing that holding a pitchfork would probably be too much for these New Yorkers!
FABULOUS escort cards!!
Wow. Just wow!
Amy: "We shipped Junior's New York Cheesecake from Brooklyn to Elko. It's the best cheesecake in New York and was a slice of the city at our country wedding."
I love that Amy didn't have any bridesmaids... Amy: "Just my sister. It was important to us to have our family surround us on our wedding day. Cameron's brother was his best man."
Clearly, everybody is having a great time!
Thank you Amy and Cameron for sharing your kickass wedding with Bitchless Bride!!
Judging solely on the shoes, you can already tell that the B+G are pretty laid-back and pretty cool, right? Right! And, because we already know how cool these two are, I bet it wouldn't surprise you if I told you that Kimberly and Thomas' families are close friends, would it? Because, that's pretty fucking fabulous, right? Aaaaanddd.... as if that wasn't awesome enough, all the B+G really wanted on their wedding day was for their family and friends to have a good time; a big party! I mean... They even hired Mike Freas, the photographer, because, "...we really enjoyed your personality and we had a feeling that if you were just hanging at our wedding as 'a friend', that you would totally fit in."
It was a difficult task, but Kimberly and Thomas meticulously weeded their guest list down from 300 so that could have only their "closest people" attend the wedding. LOVE IT! Aside from their FAB story, there are some gorgeous deets to inspire you as you plan your own wedding, bridey. Oh! And, OMG... Just wait until you see their "cake"!! Enjoy!
STUNNING dress. It's even better on the bride!!
Love the shoes and the bouquet!
I love that the B+G invited the president to their wedding!!
Love the hair. Love the makeup. Love the bouquet. Obsessed with the dress.
That's "Pops", Thomas' father, and apparently, the life of the party.
I want to hug Thomas too!! Amazing reaction to seeing Kimberly!
So so so cute! Nice cleave too, Kimberly! You're 100% OWNING that wedding dress!Beautiful shot.
STFU with that dress!! I may be a l'il obsessed!
Such a lovely, passionate kiss!
How cool is this venue!!???
I love how Thomas rolled up his sleeves!
So, what do you think of the B+G's cake? HE'S ROLLING IT!!!! Look down!
Shut the FUCK up! That's gorgeous! That's amazing! That's all of my favorite adjectives combined!
Thank you Kimberly and Thomas for sharing your fantastic wedding with Bitchless Bride!!
Photographer: Foto By Freas
Caterer: Catered Affairs of Key West
Transportation: Conch Tour Train
Bakery: Cupcake Sushi
Floral Designer: Duarte Floral Design
Equipment Rentals: Eventfully Yours Rentals
Ceremony & Event Location: Fort Zachary State Park
Officiant: Rev. Steve Torrence
Hair & Makeup: Studio Marie-Pierre
I wrote this article for the Huffington Post in 2012, and I was inspired because of a particularly difficult bride I had the joy of working with, who literally drove me the brink of insanity. The reason I am sharing it with you today? Well, because in the last week I have heard several stories of brides behaving badly. Whining, complaining, and simply irritating the fuck out of everybody around them. I don't know if people tell me these stories because they know what I do, or what, but either way, I thought a simple reminder to QUIT BITCHIN' was in order... So, read up ladies!!
After an amazing weekend filled with rehearsal dinners, beautiful weddings, “morning after” brunches, everything hurts; everything aches; everything cracks. I feel like an old lady hobbling around looking for my cane. But, the worst pain? My head. And my head hurts from too much thinking, and over thinking, and even MORE thinking, and not from drinking (like I’m used to). Seriously... The funny thing? My head doesn’t hurt because of the lovely bride and groom from the wedding this past Saturday... It hurts from the endless emails and texts I received from my UPCOMING clients that either ask or say the most ridiculous crap. Simply whining about everything because they feel “so taken advantage of”, and their “patience for this wedding stuff is running thin”. Really?
If you missed my post last week on Bitchless Bride, I mentioned that I had an addiction. That I couldn’t stop “using”, and that no matter how hard I tried, I was simply “addicted to yes“. And while I openly admitted to my horrendous compulsion, to enabling my brides, and to just “making it happen”, I must state for the record that I hate that I do it. I hate that it’s EXPECTED for me to continue to “use”. But, I do have my limits, and because it’s only the beginning of the fall wedding season, I have to pace myself. But, I need your help brideys.
Seriously, I need for you to quit whining... Quit whining about all of the aspects of planning your wedding that we have no control over. Certain prices are fixed. Certain aspects are truly non-negotiable. And emailing me every second of the day isn’t going to change that. Because even I can’t “yes” my way to changing the industry “norm”.
Like your wedding dress alterations? Yeah, they’re expensive, and oftentimes non-negotiable. You know why? Because you’re literally paying somebody to rip apart your very expensive wedding dress (yeah, the one that you only get to wear once), put it back together, and make it perfect for your perfect wedding day. Okay? This won’t be cheap. And I’m sorry, but if you want those unbelievable flowers on your wedding cake that “look so incredibly real”, then yes, you have to pay extra for them. And no, you are not being punished.... You’re simply paying for a service. You’re paying for a product. And you’re paying for time. So get over it or don’t get it.
I mean, let’s get real people. I refuse to believe that you’d walk into Valentino or Burberry and ask WHY the amazing dress in the window is so expensive when you could just make it yourself. Or HOW COME the sunglasses don’t come with the dress. Really? Come on.... Please. So why are you constantly surprised when the wedding industry demands to be paid for quality and time? I’m tired of apologizing for what every other industry “gets away with”.
Brideys, the minute you got engaged, you signed on an invisible dotted line, and although you might not have realized it, you signed up for all of the shenanigans that go with planning your wedding. But seriously, like you didn’t know your wedding was going to be expensive? I don’t care if your budget is $10,000 or $100,000. A wedding is not cheap. Seriously, look at the numbers... The wedding industry is a 55 BILLION dollar industry (in the US)… PER YEAR. It didn’t get to be that way because everybody is working for free. It got that way because you are buying an experience; you are buying talent; you are buying memories. And you know what? It’s fucking expensive. That’s it. PERIOD THE END.
So quit whining about it! It is what it is. Just resign yourself to the fact that you’re part of it now. Resign yourself to the fact that you don’t have to like it; you just have to stop complaining about it.
Image via YouQueen
OMG. Are you fucking falling over right now, bridey? Seriously, just look at this incredible ceremony setup. LOOK! Yes, I am totally yelling at you, but that's simply because I am 100% OBSESSED with Steven and Andrew's wedding. It's RAINBOW!!! And, I love rainbows... So much so, that in 2013, I put together a post called The Rainbow Connection. I thought was pretty fucking awesome, but now that I have had the privilege of sharing this with you, I realized that it hardly holds a candle to Steven and Andrew's kickass wedding!
Aside from all of the colorful deets (quite literally), I love that these two groom's are waving the rainbow flag, HIGH (well, they're signing it instead of a guest book!)!!! I mean... Love is love... Marry whoever the fuck you want. Love whoever you want. And be whoever you want! Now, go love this wedding like I did! (If you want to see Steven and Andrew's engagement shoot, and learn more about their story, click here.)
Andrew, you are so ADORABLE! Like... OMFG!
Awwwww..... So so so cute!!
Steven... Such a handsome pic!!
Like... OMG with the ceremony space!!
Doves. That's all.
The masks! WHOA!!! A teeny, tiny bit Tom Cruise in Eyes Wide Shut, but I love it!
Amazing! Check out the bow tie!
Fabulous wedding favors!
Andrew, Steven... Thank you for sharing this amazing rainbow wedding with Bitchless Bride!
Photographer: Mak Rabbitt Photography LLC
Caterer: Cheers & Lakeside Chalet
Ceremony Location: Cheers Chalet
Cake Designer: Short North Piece of Cake
Bakery: Short North Piece of Cake
Dress Store: The Wedding Plantation
Reception Venue: Lakeside Chalet
Okay, so obviously I know that Memorial Day is coming up, not the Fourth of July, but either way, I thought it was appropriate to rock a flag on Bitchless Bride leading up to the holiday. And, this wedding is totally going to make you cry with delight! Yes, I just wrote that, but it's true! You see, Kathleen really wanted to have a destination wedding in Italy at a beautiful vineyard, but knew the trip would be difficult for her guests. Sooooo, she and her hus, Daniel, brought Italy to their wedding. And, you know what? They did an A MAZ ING job capturing the essence of Italy. The décor is spot on, and so is the vibe.
Oh! Bridey, you know my love for anything cake, right? Well, just wait until you see the cakes that the B+G selected! Yes, CAKES!!! OMFG! Seriously, why don't I ever get invited to weddings with multiple cakes? Anyway... Enjoy this fabulously festive Fourth of July wedding! I'll let Kathleen fill you in on some of the deets!
Um... Could you bust?
The bridesmaids were Kathleen and Daniel's daughters... Sniff! Sniff!
Stunning!!! Damn, girl!
Hello, Italy... Welcome to Utah! LOVE how the chairs are arranged for the ceremony.
This one... ADORBS!
Kathleen: My Uncle John Lynch. When my dad passed and we got engaged I wasn't sure I wanted anyone to take my dads place. I decided I have been really close with my uncle my whole life, Uncle John loved my dad and held him with high regard and was honored to walk his niece down the aisle. He is also a retired Marine and a full time officer in the Sheriffs dept in Col. He is one of the few that gets asked to wear his Blues and march in NYC for the remembrance of 9/11. I remember coming down the stairs from my Bridal Suite and seeing him for the 1st time in his Blues, it was such a surprise and honor for me to walk with him as well. He looked very dapper; and it was perfect since it was July 4th.
I mean... So beautiful!
HAHA! Love it!! Totally something I would do!
Kathleen: The décor was a mixture of Italian Vineyard and Vintage Romance. We had real grapes throughout all of our flowers. We used a collection of Cigar boxes we collected from all of Daniel's favorite cigars for our centerpiece flowers, along with garden vases and candle sticks, Wine Barrels, Chandeliers and twinkle lights in the trees to soften all the wood. We had King Ranch Wood tables with Cream lace runners on the adults tables- Fruitwood Chairs, Ivory with Satin Champagne overlays on the 4 Kids tables. Satin Champagne with Lace runners on all the High Boy Tables for the Cigar Lounge and Bar and also for the antipasti station. We had a brown leather loveseat and chairs with granite table in the cigar lounge on the deck with the bar and Italian Soda station...
Recently, I had the opportunity to work with a truly amazing bride. She was friendly, organized and considerate of every single person who had a hand in the wedding planning. This chick was even friendly to those who didn’t have a hand in the wedding planning, but wished they did (like her soon-to-be MIL who I know was driving her crazy!). Totally a Bitchless bride! And, as I was placing the final touches at the venue, and bullshitting with the DJ, both of us said how great it was working with her because as we both know, it could go either way. And after we traded a few horror stories about crazy, bitchy brides of the past, he said, “Wouldn’t it be great if we could review them?” I stopped in my tracks... Holy shit. It would be great if we could review our brides. It would be fabulous if we could review our brides! It might even be life changing, for vendors and brides alike. But, how?
Well, think about it, bridey... If there was an outlet, similar to Yelp, WeddingWire, etc. where following your wedding, your vendors could write a review about you and your behavior/attitude while planning, would that impact how you conducted yourself? Wait! Before you answer the question, allow me to keep going for a bit... What if this outlet was powerful enough to alter the course of your professional life? Similar to the way a negative review can wreak havoc on our business, a negative review could potentially ruin a fantastic job opportunity for you, bridey (like it does for us), get you fired (as it can for us), and completely soil your reputation as you know it.
Imagine if a potential (or even your current) employer "Googled" you, and could read about how you treated your wedding vendors without hearing "your side of the story". Scary, right? Pretty fucked up? Yes! Because in their eyes? These reviews reveal a lot about how you behave under pressure, and how you treat people in the process... Bridey, if you were a raving lunatic or even had one looney moment, you'd probably have some explaining to do or maybe you'd miss a chance to land the next big career move; pretty damaging for some of you. Right?
Now, bridey, answer the question... If there was a site for vendors to review brides in the same way you very publicly review us, would that change your behavior during wedding planning? Would it change how you treat people knowing that your behavior and conduct could leave a lasting impression not only on your vendors, but on your career too?
Image via Box University Blog
Bridey, do you know what the most suggested piece of advice is from one bride to another? Have fun on your wedding day! Relax! Enjoy every second. Well, that's exactly what Becky and Devin did... They enjoyed every.single.second. And, know what? It totally shows in the photographs! I mean... There is so much to love about this intimate, vintage inspired wedding, that I hardly know where to begin because I love all of the intricate details. Seriously, the deets are so meaty and delicious that I can't stand it! Just wait until you see the stunning, hand crafted bouquets, the wedding dresses, the gentlemen attire, etc.!!
The other super cool part of Becky and Devni's wedding? Well, the B+G have two gorgeous little girls, and they did an incredible job of making these beauties a huge part of their ceremony. After all, a wedding is about a union of two people, right? And, if these two people have two other people together, then everybody should be involved, right? RIGHT!! Anyway... Enjoy!!
LOVE. Like... So beautiful and clever.
That's the B+G and their two adorable little girls!
Couldn't you see this pic in your mom's wedding album?
I can't... It's just too good! Becky, your bouquet is really amazing!
SHUT the front door...
A single tear just rolled down my cheek...
Okay... A few more tears... Whhaaaa? What can I say? This one totally got to me!
Such a cool group shot!
Can you tell that Becky is a model? Definitely owning these photographs! And, Devin? You're pretty easy on the eyes too! Some of my fave wedding pics!!
So simple and pretty. Know what? It's fucking red velvet too! Oh yeah!
And now it's time for a costume change. WOW!!
Becky, Devin... Thank you for sharing your truly beautiful and moving wedding with Bitchless Bride!!
I have to admit, normally I would never open a post with a group shot. Because, if I'm honest? I find them a wee bit boring and staged. But, this one? Definitely not the case! Seriously... Can you imagine being in this pic? I mean, it's clear that everybody is already having a great time, and thrilled to be celebrating with Farina and Dan in Tulum, Mexico. Talk about a FAB destination for a wedding!! And, how cool is it that the rose petals are flying in the air and guests have drinks in their hands? Now, that's the way to do it, bridey!
Okay, so at the risk of sounding hokey, this wedding 100% what getting married is all about. There's a deep tenderness and an intimacy captured throughout that truly has me on the verge of tears. Farina and Dan are surrounded by a small crowd, on a beautiful day, rocked some seriously sensational décor, and their guests definitely are having a lot of fun. It really doesn't get better than that, right? Enjoy!
Totally LOVE Farina and Dan's invitation!
Farina... OMFG! You are STUN NING! Like amazingly gorgeous in that silk gown!!
Dan was waiting impatiently for his bride to present herself on the beach... I mean...
I'm such a sucker for the hand on the face kiss or embrace.
Hello beautiful beach! What a FAB place for a ceremony!
Farina! I'm pretty sure that's the exact face I would be making as I walked down the aisle!!
Such an incredible Mayan ceremony!
Simple. Elegant. Gorgeous.
Love how the chairs don't match...
Thank you all for coming!!! Now, it's time for some fun!
Thank you Farina and Dan for sharing your fantastic destination wedding with Bitchless Bride!!
I've stopped apologizing. Seriously. I'm done apologizing for stupid shit. Sure, if I make a mistake or if I owe somebody an apology, then I will apologize to them, but other than that? I'm all done. I'm done apologizing when it's unnecessary. And you know what, bridey? You should be too. Seriously, ever find yourself in somebody's way at the store and realize that your very first instinct is to say, "I'm sorry"? Have you ever stopped and wondered why? Because, are you really sorry for looking at the same t-shirt or cereal as somebody else at the same time? I'm not. But, we are wired to think that we are inconveniencing somebody somehow simply by standing where we're standing. And lately? If I'm not done looking at the t-shirt in question (or reading the cereal box), then I'm not moving, and I'm not sorry. Good for you BB, but... how is this relevant to wedding planning? Well, bridey, you do it all the time! You apologize unnecessarily, and then you don't apologize when it's necessary!
Look, I promise to tell you when you need to apologize, but apologizing because you don't understand terms of a vendor contract or because you can't wrap your head around a service you are paying for? That's just silly! It's important for you to understand everything you are paying for and receiving, and frankly it's important for you not to apologize in the process.
Bridey, I know that I have spent a lot of time busting your chops for your sometimes entitled bullshit behavior, but I've also made it a point to educate you and stand up for you while you plan your wedding. Because I understand that it's difficult to plan a wedding on top of the countless other responsibilities you are busy juggling. I understand that most of you haven't had the pleasure of wedding planning, and therefore you have a lot of questions. It's normal, and it's okay. So, rather than apologizing for it, own it! You're not supposed to have all of the answers. You're not supposed to know what makes "the industry" tick or how attrition works in regards to food and beverage or guest rooms, etc.. So, it's completely acceptable for you to ask questions and get answers. No apology necessary.
When should you say you're sorry? Here are the top 10 moments when an apology is necessary:
1. Apologize when you're being an entitled bitch. We get it, you're getting married! It doesn't give you carte blanche to be mean.
2. Apologize for getting pissed off because a vendor had the audacity to work on Saturday and couldn't meet you when you wanted them to.
3. Apologize for not being flexible with your vendors (see #2).
4. Apologize for being rude to your mom, sig other, MOH, etc. in front of your wedding vendors.
5. Apologize for monopolizing all of my fucking time going over and over the flowers, décor, linens, etc., etc., etc., once we've already made a decision.
6. Apologize for not being able to make a decision. Promptly.
7. Apologize when you miss an appointment because you had to get to the gym. REALLY!?
8. Apologize for keeping me waiting (see #7).
9. Apologize when you say you need a "quick minute to chat", and an hour goes by.
10. Apologize for paying your deposits, final payments, etc. late.
Bridey, this list could be a hell of a lot longer, but what I'm hoping you'll take away from this article is knowing and understanding when you should apologize, and when you shouldn't. Got it? Good! Stay Bitchless!
Image via The Odyssey Online
Are you totally dying over this photograph? I mean... The kiss with the hands (OMG...So romantic!), the smiling bride as she kisses her groom, the tat, the sky?? Right? I love that this is real. You know what I mean, bridey? A real wedding photograph. Not a styled shoot. Not a magazine spread. A real, fucking cool wedding photograph! And, you know what? There are more where that came from! Because Lindsay and Dave are just that cool, so obvi their wedding is going to be cool too!
The other thing that makes this wedding stand out to me is that the B+G are from Canada and decided to host a destination wedding in Mexico. Not only that, but these two crazy kids, and their wedding, are rockin' a whole bunch of red. Yup! RED! Everything from Lindsay's wedding dress, to Dave's bow tie to the flowers to the chairs and more! Okay, enough out of me! Time for you to go enjoy this kickass, rock 'n' roll, destination wedding!
I LOVE the red. Like, seriously LOVE the super bright red!
I always show the girls getting ready before the guys, so today, I thought I would show the boys first!
Lindsay got dressed by herself and then surprised her bridesmaids... So fun!
That bouquet is FAB!!
Simply stunning. I am completely obsessed with the deep red décor against the blue ocean.
Love how the guys are all wearing different bow ties. So cool!
Probably one of may favorite pics to grace the "pages" of Bitchless Bride.
Lindsay, you look amazing! Like, OMFG amazing!
You know what they always say... A couple with matching shoes...
Def going to steal this idea from the B+G!
Apparently, after the first dance, the music got loud, the people up and the dancing got crazy!
Thank you for sharing your cool destination wedding with Bitchless Bride!!
Forget blind dates, match.com, bars or what have you, Nic and Nick met in an elevator! I know, right? Talk about speed dating... OMG! Sorry, I just couldn't help it! But, seriously! Nick lived on the same floor as Nicole's parents in downtown Denver, and apparently asked Nicole for a date several times before she finally agreed. Bridey, I love hearing crazy awesome stories like Nic & Nick's! Gives us all hope that fucking great things can happen at any time if we just allow them to...
Bridey, there are more than a few takeaways from this beautiful wedding at the Sundance Mountain Resort. First of all, both the B+G said that doing a first look was amongst the best decision they made for their wedding day. Scroll down to learn more about why. Also, I love love LOVE how they described the décor for day. (And, I love the cake, the dress, the ceremony, the dog, etc., etc., etc.!) I'm going to let Nicole take it from here! Enjoy!!
OMG! Meet Trooper, Nic & Nick's doggy! I mean... So so so super cute!
Nicole: There were three reasons why this dress was magic. My grandma, whom I love dearly and is no longer with us was named Meme. The dress has pockets! And N-sync, mega dorky I know, came on while trying it on and all of us got down at the a&be bridal shop, including Noah our bridal dress guide. It was a moment for sure… a little different from the ‘Say Yes To The Dress’ crying in a mirror moment.
Nicole: We decided to do a first look for two reasons: to have more time to party with our friends and family and the intimacy of the moment being for the two of us. (Nick – “we were both satisfied that we did the first look. Nothing felt more intimate and validated then seeing each other before our guests, and sharing our hearts and feelings with each other first. We wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.”)
Totally looks like Nick is asking Trooper if he's ready to walk down the aisle... "Ready, boy?"
Nicole: I don't know if anyone could top my dad in the way he loves and supports me and my mom. Plus he's hilarious and always has a big smile on the brink.
Who do you think is going to win? Server or dog? Dude! Just put down the tray...
Nicole: The idea was to bring the outside in, so the colors I wanted to use were green, white, yellow, and purple. The most important design element to us was to incorporate stories in what we used. The crystal (Meme’s crystal) that hung from the arbor (our friend Rusty created and built), was given to me by my grandma Meme when I turned 16 to hang from my rearview mirror. The ring bearer pillows were made by Nick’s mom Pat, out of his grandma Grace’s wedding dress. My aunt Becca who sang during the ceremony is also an artist and we had one of her oil paintings over the fireplace. For our centerpieces I had purple crystals on each table from my grandmother Margret’s collection. On the Welcome table I had a metal Jacquemard sign that used to hang and the bottom of my grandparents driveway. Nick’s uncle Frank who is a welder made a Greene sign to match. We both wanted to surround this wedding moments with stories about who we are because of the people who surround us.
Amazingly beautiful and warm...
Nicole: Simple, round and all white with wood grain cover; three tiered. Three different flavors (almond, banana caramel (YUM!!), and chocolate. We can't tell you how many compliments we had about the texture and the taste of the cake.
Nicole! I love your dress!!
Thank you Nic and Nick for sharing your GORGE wedding with Bitchless Bride!!!!
Photographer: Logan Walker Photography
Dress Store: a&be
Tuxedo & Men's Attire: BLACK by Vera Wang
Floral Designer: Foxglove Flowers & Gifts
Officiant: Rev. Anita Gordon and Rev. Craig Gordon - Utah Wedding Minister
Makeup Artist: Signaturebrides
DJ: Snappy Little Numbers
Reception Venue: Sundance Mountain Resort
Cake Designer: The cake market
Dress Designer: Wtoo Watters
Yup, I totally just stole a line from Taylor Swift, but why come up with another awesome line when one already exists? Right? Anyway, the point is, right now, so many of you are recently engaged, and while I truly believe that you don't think you're a nightmare, inevitably, the majority of you? Yeah, you're going turn into a fucking nightmare, and totally think you're a dreamboat. The fix? Well, leave that to me. Here are five ways to avoid turning into your very own nightmare disguised as a daydream:
1. Bridey, remember that just because you are getting married doesn't mean that everyone else is. All of your friends and family? Well, they're probably in different phases of their lives, and therefore it shouldn't be surprising to you that after the allotted "honeymoon" phase of your engagement, you will lose their undivided attention. Because some friends? Well, some are jealous of what you have, some are having babies, some are getting divorced, and some just don't give a shit about your wedding! So, bridey, remember that this is yourphase, and not everyone is in it with you.
2. Be a good listener. Those phases I just mentioned? Well, your friends and family will probably want/need some air time once you've finished talking about what's on your mind. Yes, bridey, you're newly engaged and dying to talk and obsess about every painstaking detail of your wedding day, but your friends have shit happening in their lives too. So, listen! And care! Give them the floor once in a while. Breathe. It's not about you all of the time...
3. Uh-oh... The P word! Um, I'm talking about perspective!! Yup! You're wedding is one day out of your entire life, bridey. One.fucking.day. And there's a ton of shit you'll probably have to overcome with your partner after that one day. Personally? I dealt with nearly losing my hus to pulmonary embolisms (less than a year after we were married). And then there was the whole IVF journey. What a shitshow... (Yeah, you spend all of your 20s trying NOT to get pregnant, and when you're finally ready, you can't! WTF?) And then several ups and downs thereafter... So, while I look back at my wedding day fondly, I usually find myself reflecting on the marriage, and our concrete foundation, not the day.
4. You don't know shit. You are new to this whole wedding planning bit, so quit pretending like you know everything. Do your research. And, no that doesn't mean "pin" your research, I mean really do your research, bridey. Research your wedding as if you're going to spend the equivalent of a down payment for a home on one day... Oh wait... You are! So, own it bridey! Own the shit out of your wedding! Know what you're getting yourself into. Make a point of understanding what things cost in the industry. Hire professionals to help you do so. Either way, educate yourself, and do it honestly! Act as though there was a price tag on every pin.
5. Be fucking nice... to everyone. Because, bridey, in my world? You are a nightmare first, and then, if you're lucky, you become my daydream. And, if you're nice and genuine? Then people (inside of the industry and out) will genuinely want to help you plan your wedding. They will care about the details, they will care how you feel about the linen or food or wedding cake, and most of all, they will care about you! But, if you treat everyone like crap, then you will get crap in return.
Image via magic4walls
Bridey, if you know me at all, then you know I love Las Vegas. I got married there, I gamble there, and I do bad things there! Just kidding! Well... Anyway, it's not about me... It's about the B+G, Kate & Jake. They said "I do" at the Las Vegas Country Club, and considering that neither the bride or groom are from Vegas, it was a destination wedding! The best part? In true Vegas fashion, all of the wedding guests were taken to the Las Vegas sign in a wild party bus ride for a final photo. OMG! Right?
The lowdown on Kate and Jake? Well, they met at a bar (just like my hus and me!). Jake had just gotten back from a tour in Spain, and needed a cocktail. Kate saw Jake from across the bar, and just had to say "hello", and the rest is history! Bridey, tons of inspiration in this FAB destination wedding! Enjoy!
Could ya bust? That's Carly's (the B+G's daughter) amazing dress!
OMG!!! SO cute! (And, I want to find me a pair!)
Damn girl. GORGE!
Wow. She's adorable! I love her transportation, too!
Stunning cake, and looks tasty too!
Look how much fun everybody is having!!!
Such a cool shot!
Thank you for sharing your awesome wedding with Bitchless Bride!!!
Photographer: Fabio and Adri Photography
Floral Designer: ACS Floral & Events
Dress Store: David's Bridal
DJ: Knight Sounds Entertainment
Hair Stylist: stevee danielle hair and makeup salon
Event Venue: The Las Vegas Country Club
Can I get a "OH MY GOD"? I mean... Just look at this photograph!! It's absolutely, insanely gorgeous! Right? I don't even know where to begin with what I love most about this stunning table and décor! Bridey, did you happen to see the wedding favors? Each guest got a bottle of Moët! Kinda beats a wedding cake shaped cookie, doesn't it?! Look, don't get me wrong, I love a good cookie wedding favor, but I love a delicious French champagne much, much more! Anyway, it was truly hard for me not to showcase every picture in the album, but, somehow I managed.
Bridey, I can hardly put into words how I feel about the totally fucking GORGEOUS flowers (more than 2,000 individual flowers were used in Kristi & Steve's wedding) or the metallic gold wedding cake or the two wedding dresses Kristi wore or the black dance floor, or or or!!!! The list goes on and on!!! I will let Kristi, the cool and beautiful bride, tell you a little bit more about the inspiration for this A MAZ ING wedding. Enjoy!
WOW! Look at those two dresses!
That is one hell of a train!
Bridey, you know I am a sucker for how the B+G look at each other during the ceremony. And this is completely tear jerking! All the way from childhood sweethearts to the altar...
My dream car (although I really just picture it in the kickass chase scene in The Bourne Identity!)...
Kristi: I wanted our guests to be blown away, by everything! With this in mind we really had no limits set; the more glitz the better! Thousands of flowers and hundreds of candles, we wanted every element of our wedding incomparable and unforgettable.
Don't you love how the cake is reflecting the lighting?? Amazing!!
Kristi: Our wedding was glamourous! The fact that I wore multiple different dresses on the day probably showcased that. We also focused our wedding décor around the contrast of gold and different shades of red. Our reception included over 2,000 individual flowers which really popped against our clear glass furniture and gold detailing. I really do think that glamourous is the best description.
Um. OMotherFuckin'G!!! I can't... It's too good... W.O.W. FIVE layers of gold...
I mean... Kristi! You look sensational! I can't keep my eyes off of your bum!
Kristi: My dresses were very important to me; I couldn't decide between having a big princess dress, or having a more sexy, fitted dress... So in the end I decided to combine both! I also wanted to wow our guests with ANOTHER dress for the cutting of the cake, so I chose to literally match my dress with the cake and have gold detailing throughout.
Thank you Kristi and Steve for sharing your utterly breathtaking, glamorous wedding with Bitchless Bride!
Photographer: Blumenthal Photography
Wedding Dress: George Elsissa
Bridesmaids Dresses: Sweethearts Bridal
Shoes: Stuart Weitzman
Stationery: Adorn Wedding Invitations
Flowers: Sydney Wedding Flowers
Groom(smen)’s Suits: Hugo Boss
Jewelry: Nader Jewellers
Cake: Sweet Passion
Make Up & Hair: Natalie Anne Hair
Film: Untitled Film Works
Venue: Ivy Merivale
So, the other day, I felt like a total adult. Like, so adulty, that it made me feel uncomfortable. Why? Well, my hus and I took a long overdue trip to the attorney's office to sign our wills, health care proxies, and other important documents so that we could protect our kids from any additional anguish should the worst case scenario become a reality. Wouldn't you say that I am officially an adult? I know! Right? Ugh. It was a tough day, but necessary!
The reason I'm writing about this? Well, Mr. Attorney said something to me that I couldn't shake in regards to when my kids should have access to their trusts (when we actually have $$ to give them!). He said that age 35 is the new 25. What does that mean? Well, depending on how my kids develop (and who they develop into), giving them access to a decent sum of money without a chaperone (the executor), could be a mistake. I mean... Who's to say that my future, 25 year-old daughter wouldn't blow it on shoes or, gulp, drugs, instead of a wedding or down payment??? Right? When I went to fight him on this point, he said that "kids these days are later to launch..." That phrase totally stopped me (and my argument) dead in my tracks. Why? Because he's right!
I'm in my late 30s, and my parents and most of my friends' parents got married and had kids by 25(ish). Seems totally insane, right? Seriously, I couldn't even imagine having a kid in my 20s, let alone being responsible for his/her well-being! And, when you look at the trend as far as age in relation to weddings these days, people are getting married later in their lives because, they are later to launch! They are leaving their parents homes later, they are settling into their careers later, they are finding love later. So, it makes sense that they are getting married later. And later is better for a lot of reasons. Why?
1. You're done weeding. Huh? You're done weeding out the bullshit. You've dated and dated, and now you know what you want. Gone are the days of sowing oats... Now, you're aged to perfection, and you only want one oat to sow.
2. In the same way you know what you want in a partner, you have a better understanding of what your wedding will look like. More of what you want, less of what other people want, and most likely, more of your own money. You begin to think practically and take responsibility for that practicality.
3. Perspective. Yup! My favorite word. You care more about the person you're going to marry, and your life after the wedding, than the wedding itself. I mean, you're excited about your wedding day, but it's not the only day you will look back on fondly... Especially when you have your whole lives to look forward to!
4. It's not your parent's wedding, it's yours, and the people on the "A" list are on the only list. Not to mention, they actually want to be there. An added bonus? You know everybody who's coming.
5. You're used to yourself, and you like who you've become. No more "faking it until you make it". Or settling. You'd rather be alone than settle for the wrong dude (or lady).
So, later to launch...? Okay Mr. Attorney, I understand what you're saying, and now that I've had time to let it marinate, I'm going to rest my case.
Image via marie claire
Doesn't the background look like an abandoned castle that Tanner and Rebecca are "dipping" in? Or, is my Game of Thrones-like imagination is getting the best of me? Either way, it's fantastic! Right? And, there are many, many more photographs like this one that will inspire you captured within this rustically fantastic wedding. I mean... There are just SO many details that I adore, I hardly know where to begin!
For instance... The waterfall. It's incredible! And, it serves as a beautiful backdrop during the ceremony. Seriously... if we're honest, not many people can say that they were married with a waterfall glistening in behind the scenes, right?! Right! Well, Rebecca and Tanner can! Then there's Rebecca's heavenly wedding gown (OMG!), the first look, the delectable dessert table, the barn & décor, and the truly captivating photographs taken by Krisandra Evans Photography. Bride, go! Go scroll, and get inspired!
Totally picturing the FAB photog laying on the floor underneath this stunning dress to capture this shot!!
A 'lil whiskey to get things started? Yes, please!
I think it's fabulous how Rebecca is sneaking up the stairs for the first look!
OMG! Totlly LOVE you guys!
WOW. Amazing dress. Amazing bouquet. Amazing shot.
There's that castle again!
The bridal party definitely has a good time together, that's for sure!!
Look closely at the "wedding" sign... Yeah, it's a bedpost! L.O.V.E.
So fun! Still with the castle! (Okay, okay! I'll get over it! But, I love it so much!)
Tanner, you happen to be a great "dipper". Again, the veil shot and this one are fucking FAB!
So, so, so AWES!
Sometimes I feel like cookies are totally underrated! They should grace many more dessert tables!
Cheers! Thank you for sharing your rustically fantastic wedding with Bitchless Bride!!
The red, ornate dress, the beautiful toes and the purple laces... Oh my!!! Right? Bridey, just wait until you scroll down and see the full view of this fucking A MAZ ING dress. It's so stunningly magnificent that I cannot stop looking at all of the splendid detail! Anyway, the bride, Vi, is dressed in traditional Vietnamese ao dai, and she and Richard married in the lovely San Diego Japanese Friendship Garden. This wedding really has it all... Exquisite gowns (yes, gowns), beautiful grounds, a koi pond, a dog and much, much more!
I love the way Vi and Richard tied their lives into the centerpieces, and made each and every guest feel valuable and loved simply by their escort cards. Bridey, if you're looking for cool ways to differentiate your wedding, take a cue from Vi and Richard. Enjoy!
I love the emotion eminating from these photographs! I can tell from the back of Richard's head that he has a huge grin on his face!
I'm a little obsessed with the bouquet Vi is holding. Great color and texture!
See how all of the 'maids dresses are different? LOVE IT!
Such a great pic!
Gotta have your pup walk you down the aisle!
A ceremony full of love and laughter!
Costume change... WOW Vi! You look amazing!
What an incredible idea for escort cards!!! WOW!
Notice how Richard's feet are off of the ground? I love it!
I love how the B+G incorporated their litle bits of their lives into the centerpieces.
Um. Hi. Yum.
Thank you Vi and Richard for sharing your gorgeous wedding with Bitchless Bride!!!
Photographer: bycherry photography
DJ: Choice Entertainment
Makeup Artist: Glam Dolls
Event Venue: Japanese Friendship Garden San Diego
Bakery: Nomad Donuts
Caterer: Ranch Catering
Event Planner: Stephanie Rose Events
Bridey, have you heard the phrase, "No ring, no bring."? Usually this is in reference to whether or not one of your guests can bring a date to your wedding, but today, I am applying a new meaning to the phrase... How about, "No ring, no bring... YOUR ass in for an appointment. Because there is nothing I hate more than a "bride" without a ring. And, you know what? I'm not alone. Because all of us (your wedding vendors), have wasted a ton of time describing and selling our services, showcasing venue space, and bending over backwards for a "bride" without a ring. And guess what happens next? The "bride" doesn't get engaged, or the engagement is much further down the road than she thought, or the sig other wasn't "the one", blah blah blah...
Look, I know it's exciting just thinking about getting engaged, but it really doesn't count unless one of you has done the asking and one of you has done the accepting. Right? So, making appointments (or... eeeek, just walking into a venue without an appointment) is actually rude. I mean, it's like test driving a car knowing that you have another year on your lease or house hunting without establishing your budget. Honestly? It's a fucking waste of time, and just like you, wedding vendors are busy. So, if you're a future bride-to-be, it's totally cool that you're starting to explore weddingy things, and weddingy blogs, and all things weddingy, etc. because you're exploring on your own time, but when it begins to spill over onto my watch? Well, that's when you've gone too far.
Look, bridey-to-be, I'm not judging you, I swear! I get that you are excited about the next step in your life, and that you want to be prepared. It's a thrilling phase! And, planning a wedding is a huge undertaking, so why not get a head start? Right? And, depending on where you live, securing a venue and popular vendors can be brutal. But, as much as I am not judging you right now, I will start judging you the second you make start making arrangements for your wedding without a date, as a bride without a ring. For now? Stick to Pinterest!
The worst part of this equation is that these bride-to-be wannabes are usually quite lovely, and are simply letting their anxiousness about getting engaged get the best of them. I know because I have met with these almost brides, and sadly, when I follow up with them, they're either still in a holding pattern or they've broken up. And as badly as I feel (particularly when it's the latter scenario), I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a little piece of me that would be pissed off upon hearing the news. Totally an involuntarily feeling, but often, the first thought to cross my mind following the conversation. Because, no matter the situation, nobody wants to feel as though their time has been wasted, especially when there are engaged brides out there willing to make a commitment.
So, wannabe-bridey, thinking that your engagement is around the corner? Congratulations! But, hold the champagne, and the planning, until you've got a ring on it... Got it?
Image via Genesis Diamonds