Bride + Planner = BFF?

Because Bitchless Bride received several well thought out and in depth comments about our “She’s Always a ‘Lady’ to Me” post, I thought I would respond with a few simple rules based on these amazing comments from the assigned wedding planners, vendors and brides.

Please note, when BB refers to the “assigned wedding planners” I am speaking of the hard working, often underpaid employees assigned by the venue to help you plan your wedding. This is NOT the person you, as the bride, hire as an outside consultant to assist you with all of the other details (aka: wedding planner).

In a nutshell, after the bride meets with a sales manager who is responsible for “selling” the space, and signs an agreement solidifying the wedding date at the venue the file gets turned over to these assigned planners. This person is an employee where your wedding is taking place. They get paid by the venue, and will hopefully receive a big tip from you.

A few tips for both sides:

1. Lady “V” mentioned that, “All I am simply saying is there is a line... that is crossed constantly.” And I have to agree with the Lady… I’ve been there, and while those of us working at a fancy venue have a deep passion for planning and wouldn’t have been considered for this high-end job if not, sometimes the other shit gets in the way.

I understand that it is a very fine line between having a connection with your assigned planner and over-sharing. So here’s a quick easy rule… Tell us everything that you want to make your wedding day special, but please don’t tell us how embarrassing it was when you left your panties sunny-side up and your fiancé saw that big period stain (ewwwww!!! True story… verbiage and all). Because THAT bridey, is crossing the line.

2. Heather from Greatest Expectations commented that, “You don't get to pick the clients, and they don't get to pick you. Customer service is important, the clients need to feel special, and the sales manager should be allowed to do their job without having to be a therapist.”

This is true in any business. We don’t always like the people we encounter and work with, but we dig deep, fake it until we make it, and offer the best service possible. Or we should anyway… It’s not easy, and brideys sometimes it’s YOU who doesn’t feel the love for your assigned planner (see The Problem Planner post), and if this is the case, it is okay for you to speak up and ask to work with somebody else. Just know the difference between the not feeling the warm fuzzies and a competent planner.

3. Chandra from Oh Lovely Day said, “…when you choose to work in the wedding industry, you have to know you're going to be dealing with some crazy brides. While that behavior is in NO way excusable, when a bride pays a lot of money to a venue or vendor they do want a connection and want to feel special. And if a venue or vendor can't make them feel that way (whether they are or not) then maybe they aren't doing a good job.” Sadly, Chandra is correct. There are some bad planners who may have slipped through the cracks and got hired at a luxury property because they knew the right people. And that sucks. Not everybody can be like BB… JUST KIDDING! But seriously, brides and their families DO pay a lot of money at these venues, and no matter what, amazing service is part of the package. So, brideys if you’re not receiving, do something about it!

4. Lady “D” said, “I am cheering for you, for Lady "V" and this post. Of course, I am cheering in private as I hide behind the protection of my black suit and luxury hotel. I work at a fancy venue, and I cannot believe the stuff that comes out of these brides' mouths.”

Brideys please understand that this is not an attack. But more of an education (like everything on my blog)… This poor girl wearing her fancy suit is way too polite to tell you when you’ve crossed the line (not too mention that would be considered terrible customer service). But, you will know when you have crossed the threshold between appropriate and inappropriate when you get a soft laugh and a subject change.

Whether you are the assigned planner or the bride, know your audience. Bridey, your planner could be a rock star at her job, but lack the connection you want or she could just be plain rude. It’s okay to ask to work with somebody else. And planners dig deep. You know that if you change the subject enough times, the bride will get the idea that she is out of line, but remember it is up to you to provide the incredible service she is paying for…

Everybody cool?