I had a lovely meeting with a potential client today. This bride was charismatic, bright and pretty awesome actually... But, all I kept thinking during our meeting was that I got to her in the nick of time! Seriously, this bridey was about to go from pretty awesome to pretty cray cray real fucking fast! And the more she spoke, the more I was able to see it... Seriously, I felt like I was watching myself in some horror movie. You know the ones that make you think you are going crazy, but what you are seeing is really happening?! I swear I saw an invisible crack slowly creeping down her body. It started from the top of her skull and was getting bigger and bigger... It's a good thing she found me or else this chick would have CRACKED! And then? Well, this bridey, bitch would be on the loose!
Sooo, bridey... I starting thinking about the signs when it becomes apparent that you need to hire a planner:
1. Your husband-to-be threatens divorce before you even walk down the aisle. That would suck, right?!! Bridey, it's okay to admit you need help. For some, wedding planning truly is a second job. My advice? Just don't wait until you're in over your head to do it. Get help sooner rather than later.
2. When vodka starts becoming your dinner, regularly... We all hit the sauce during stressful times (I'm legit drinking a delicious vodka tonic right now!), and that normal. But, when the sauce starts becoming a food group? Well, then you many have yourself a little bit of a problem. Brideys, I'm allowed to drink because I am busy planning all of your crazy weddings! Like SEVERAL. But, you? Not so much. If you're turning to the sauce or any vice for that matter, then it's time to call in the big dogs. Okay?
3. Your friends don't want to play with you anymore.... Because you suck... the life right out of them! All you talk about is the wedding or shit you have to do for the wedding. And you know what? That's REALLY annoying and kinda boring for chicks who aren't going through it. Your friends will start to miss the woman you were before the rock if you keep turning the convo back to your nuptials. So, hire a wedding planner. You're paying them, so they HAVE to listen!
4. When you start visiting your wedding dress at the shop, and then start wondering if it's the right one... Really? YES! Some of you crazy brideys, do this shit! So stop it! I have escorted quite a few brides to bridal boutique only to prove that they have the right one. You must go with your gut, brideys!! I mean... If we were to get super psychological, one might even go as far as to say that this has more to do with finding the right "one" (ahem, the groom) as opposed to finding the right dress.
5. When your sex life fizzles because your "just so stressed about the wedding". I mean... Wait until marriage, bridey... That's when your sex will fizzle, but if it starts before your trip down the aisle, then perhaps it's time to take a break to get busy. Let him take a trip down your aisle, if you know what I mean... wink wink...
Anyway... get it? Got it? Good! If you feel like any of these five points are describing you, then get help! And fast!!!
Image via An Inspired Bride