The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Retrospective Perspective


Bridey, have you ever looked back at certain moments in your life and uttered, “OMG in retrospect, if I could go back, I’d do it all differently…” Seriously, who hasn’t, right? I mean, there are SEVERAL instances in my life which have me uttering, “Holy crap, what the fuck was I thinking?!” CRINGE! The reason I am bringing this up is because I’d hate for you to look back on your wedding and ask yourself, “How come I was such a bitch during my wedding planning?”

The reality? How you choose to behave during your wedding planning will be part of your wedding memories. And do you really want those memories marked with such aggravation and bitchiness? Trust me, your vendors will get over it and forget about you after the wedding. But, your behavior is something that you can’t take back, and if you were a total bitch during your planning, I'd be willing to be that down the road, you’ll wish you weren’t.

Rather than preach to you about how you’ll regret your bad behavior, blah blah blah, let’s try to figure out what has you so worked up, and what we can do about it.

· Is it the money? I mean, let’s be honest, you’re probably spending more for one day than you will ever spend in your life. But, bridey, it’s important to separate the money from the emotion. Period. If things get messed up, sorry… WHEN things get messed up, you’ll deal with it and you’ll still get married. Your life won't be ruined, okay? So, don’t sweat the small stuff.

· Is it your in-laws? Fiancé? Both? Well then talk about it! For God’s sake, if you don’t communicate NOW, then what does this say about your marriage; your future; the rest of your life? If this is a glimpse into your future, then obviously you are freaked out. But, bridey, if that’s the case, then you need to talk about it. And go straight to the source(s) because taking it out on everybody else is not helping, it’s hurting. Don’t pussyfoot around either. Be blunt. Be bold. Be bitchless.

· Is it nerves? Are you worried that you don’t know how to do this? That your wedding will suck? Well, settle down. Nobody expects perfection. In fact, most of your guests don’t even want to go to your wedding. True story. So, get over it. Do yoga, exercise, take Xanax, have some wine and get down and dirty with your man. I mean, not all on the same day or time, but…

· Um, is it fear of commitment? Bridey, it’s much better to deal with this TODAY, then like, a few years from now. Because if you think about how much time and effort is going into your wedding plans, marriage itself take a whole hell of a lot more effort, and if you’re not feeling it, then it’s better to walk away now.

· Is it the spotlight? Call me crazy, but some of you don’t like anything about the spotlight, or the center of attention, and the fear of all eyes being focused on you is enough to throw you over the edge and bring out your inner 'zilla. If this is how you’re feeling, then have a private ceremony, and then invite the rest of your peeps to your reception. And don't get announced into the room, and don't have a first dance, and don't cut the cake… Just celebrate. Sound good?

Bridey, there’s no doubt that this is one of the biggest moments in your life, and there are going to be some tense times, but how you handle them has a direct effect on the outcome. I don’t want you to have any regrets later, so do something about it now? Got it? Good. Then always remember to stay bitchless!