Posts in Relationships
The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ The Bridal Party Breakup

It's the truth hurts Tuesday brideys! And boy do I have a story for you! The best part of this story (actually, more like the worst)? It happened to me. And looking back, I definitely should have and could have handled it better, but frankly I feel like I never should have been in this situation in the first place. Actually, that's why I am choosing to share this story with you so that if you are in a similar position as a bride-to-be, you won't do what this bride did. I mean, she completely put me on the spot and forced a reaction from me that was kind, but not truthful. Any idea where I am going with this brideys?

Here's a hint... Don't ask a very new friend (new as in you've known her for about two months) to be your MAID OF HONOR! It's a hell of an honor and a huge responsibility, so if you don't know somebody well enough, then you might not realize just how much you are asking of them. Instead of the honor that it should be, it may feel more like entrapment to your friend

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How to Prevent Yourself From Wandering into the Deep End of Crazy

**STORY SUBMITTED BY GISELLE F.**

Weddings are magical; not only in the way they make every woman feel like a princess, but also in the effect it has on females. We’ve all seen perfectly sensible women try on the white veil and suddenly turn into raging, crying, hyperventilating, bossy creatures with raised eyebrows, flared nostrils, loud voices and waving fingers. We all swear that, when it is our turn to walk down the aisle, we will be sane and calm. If this is a serious goal for you, it is wise to set strategies to prevent yourself from wandering into the deep end of crazy.
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In Sickness and in Health... Before the Wedding

{Photograph via Jennifer Brotchie Photography}

So, remember that freebie I mentioned a while back in my "Listen Up" post? You know, the wedding I am planning for free because the bride and groom are my friends? Well, it is coming up this weekend and I could not be more thrilled for several reasons, but most of all because the groom is healthy. The groom is alive, and not in pain. And for that, all of our hard work feels absolutely incredible. This truly is a celebration not only for the union of two people who love each other, but for two people who have already been through sickness and health together. Not to mention a groom that survived a major surgical operation with flying colors, and loves to show off the scars. 

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I'm Still in Recovery
Today I feel sick. Today I feel sad. And I know what this is all about... I have the after-wedding hangover. Irregardless of how much I fucking hated this bride, I worked my ass off for over a year making all of the details fit perfectly into this colossal event. I mean, I worked with her for sixteen months. SIXTEEN MONTHS! And even though she was a total bitch and pretty much every moment I spent with her was excruciating,
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And the Tree Was Unhappy
I'm going to take a cue from a MOG I recently worked with, and look at this upcoming nightmare of a wedding the way she looked at her son's wedding... she was just going to get through it. So, that's what I am going to do. I am just going to get through it. I AM JUST GOING TO GET THROUGH IT. Because I am so done. I don't care. I feel like the fucking giving tree (The Giving Tree, Shel Silverstein), and right now I am down to a teeny tiny stump with absolutely nothing left to give. Actually, if I had any branches left, I'd use them to the whack the bitch, and completely fuck her over by quitting the day before her wedding.
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Drastic Times Call for Drastic Measures...

After the unfortunate and deeply saddening and scary events of 9/11, I know several people who decided that life was way to short, and the unexpected can happen at any time... That said, they took some drastic measures to make their lives better. If they were in love, then they finally popped the question. If they were head over heals for somebody, then they finally told them how they felt. 

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I Hate Everything About You
I really don’t know how to say this delicately. I fucking hate you. I hate everything about you. I cringe when I see your name in my inbox or on my caller ID. I hate that you cc me on every single email. I hate that you emailed somebody at 4:30 PM on Friday afternoon, and just cc’ed me on your email to them this morning asking why you haven’t heard back. I hate that you refused to use most the vendors in my network, and now I am left to clean up their mess (already) and we haven’t even reached your wedding day yet. I hate that you refuse to let me manage your expectations. To put it simply bridey, I hate you. 
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Because It's Not Only YOUR Day

Story submitted and written by Dazed and Confused

First, thank you and God bless you for making this site! I am feeling better just reading it.

I absolutely agree that the bride and groom should have their special day be as they wish; more than any narcissistic family members who may try to take over, the bride and groom should be in charge and not be overshadowed or railroaded. However, with that said, OMG I'm going to scream if I hear the phrase "such and such is OUR DAY" when used to justify demands and expectations of family members and in-laws who manipulate others like puppets

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Your Broken Heart or Expectation?

Let’s talk about money. Like really talk about money because I am so sick of dancing around this fucking topic. Brideys, you have to set your budget and your expectations early so that you aren’t disappointed later. PERIOD. 

I’ve said this before, but apparently I need to say it again. The second after you get engaged, you must talk about money, and your overall budget with ALL parties contributing to your wedding. The reason?

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Practice Makes Perfect?

I can’t seem to get a conversation I had with one of my grooms out of my head, so I thought I’d share it with you. And brideys, you might want to sit down for this one because I’m guessing that this might hit a nerve… 

A few weeks ago I was meeting with a lovely young couple (like 25 years old young) getting married next spring. And after we finished discussing the details, the bride excused herself to “go pee”. When I looked up from my notes, I seriously thought the groom was going to lean in for a kiss because he was practically on top of me.

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She’s Always a “Lady” to Me
I want to stand up and applaud. I want to stand up and cheer. I want to jump up and down. You know why? Because of “Lady V”. Who? “Lady V”… She wrote a brutally honest response to a post BB wrote called “The Problem Planner”, and I need you, bridey to understand her point of view. You see, she works for a five star resort, and if you are getting married at a high-end venue or five star hotel, then I need you to think about her words when you feel your verbal vomit bubbling up.
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Stay Together... Not Just Forever
I woke up incredibly annoyed this morning. I don’t really know why, but I am, so bear with me as I write what will probably turn out to be more of a rant than a post. You see, I’ve been thinking a lot… too much actually about what I do for a living and how people who are not in “the industry” ALWAYS glorify what my job is really like. People constantly say that I should write a book based on how much crazy shit I have seen and continue to see at weddings. And you know what? Instead of a book, I prefer the Bitchless Bride blog. Because with this blog (I thee wed… HA! Sorry! It was there, so I took it!) I am able to educate you brideys and still reap the cathartic benefits of writing (which I desperately need today). But at the same time, your education is IMMEDIATE and free. And here’s another educational series for you to digest as BB continues to educate you on bitch prevention, and this time it’s about staying together.
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Family Management 101
I kinda can’t believe that I even have to write about this, but there is a disturbing new trend in fucking wedding la la land that is really bothering me. This message is for you, bridey… Tell your family that they don’t belong at your engagement! Tell them to stop. Right now. Because it is not appropriate for them to be there the MOMENT you get engaged. Literally. The moment. ‘Cause when your man builds up the courage to ask for your hand in marriage, it should not turn into an open forum for your family to take over
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Give it to Me Brideys
Sometimes a girl just needs to get laid. We need to get our “swerve” on. We want your hands on our bodies, and your mouth… well; you get the picture (sorry dad!). So, we put on some sexy music, light those scented candles and go to town. But, before I get all hot and bothered, I better get to the point! Basically, I want to talk about sex. Clearly. But, I want to hear about your sex.
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Grooms and Your Bottom... Line

Does this sound familiar to you? You have all of the details planned, you are about to sign on the dotted line for 10K worth of absolutely stunning linen, chiavari chairs and stemware when out of nowhere, the groom swoops in and squashes your dream with his mighty checkbook (duh, I know nobody actually writes checks anymore, but it sounded better, okay?).

I know the feeling… You see as a planner, I see this ALL the time! And no matter how many times I tell you ladies to enlighten your grooms about the REAL budget, somehow you fuck it up. So, we go on several appointments, and the bride says, “Yeah, yeah… this is amazing. Let’s move forward with our design”.  And right as we get to the “alter”, the dream fizzles because the groom looks at the price tag and says, “No fucking way am I spending 10K tablecloths”!

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Groomzilla
So you all know how BB feels about bridezillas, or at least asking if you are behaving like one, but one subject that often gets missed because “the industry” is so wrapped up with the bride, is the groom. And grooms can behave badly too. In fact, on the day of the wedding, sometimes it’s the GROOM who can be the pain in the ass of any wedding planner, venue manager, or caterer. And as we stated in our post for OneWed today, the groom may have a good reason… he’s lost.
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Fifty Shades of... Red
He was gorgeous. Like jaw-droppingly handsome. With piercing blue eyes, dark hair and perfect teeth all I kept thinking at the tasting was how badly I wanted to crawl under the table and… NOOOOAAAA! Gross. I was going with, crawl under the table and HIDE! Get your “Fifty Shades of Grey” minds outta the gutter. Seriously. I’m not E L James (because if I was, the book woulda been written much better… just sayin’).
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Here Comes the (800 Pound) Bride
Bridey’s… you and I have talked a great deal about losing weight before your wedding, which dress is best for you and your body, and extreme weight loss via the nasogastric tube, but this story is one that will shock the shit out of you… Yesterday on the Dr. Phill show, he interviewed a bride to be who was trying to GAIN weight. Yes, you read that correctly.
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"Duel" Maid of Honors

Story Submitted by "Misery Maid"

I was very surprised when a friend asked me to be her "Co-Maid of Honor." First of all, at that point we were seeing each other maybe 3 times a year despite living in the same city, and secondly, I'd never heard of a CO-Maid of Honor. Turns out, there's a good reason for that!

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Oh Pam
So, I was watching reruns of The Office recently, and the one where Pam and Jim get married came on. This is probably the best episode for all of you soon to be brides. If fact, if you haven’t seen, then go watch it. At one point during the episode, Pam says, “This was supposed to be our day; why’d we invite all of these people?” Um, yeah… I hear this quite a bit, and I’m sick of it! Stop being a wussy with a capital “P”, and do something about it!
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