Because today is July 4th, I thought I’d keep it short and somewhat sweet. Somewhat being the key word… No matter what, I hope that you are enjoying yourselves wherever you are and whatever you are doing! There’s the sweet part. Seriously, I really hope that today is about spending time with your families, drinking some fabulous cocktails and watching some cool fireworks instead of attending somebody’s wedding. Yeah, I said it out loud. Nobody is happy about attending a wedding on ANY holiday. Period.
Let me be blunt. Limit the number of toasts. Ask your friends what they hate most about weddings, and I bet the number one answer will be too many toasts that are far too long. Nobody gives a shit or understands the private jokes besides you, the groom and the person giving the toast. This is not your Bat Mitzvah and it is not appropriate for your friends to ramble on and on like a 13 year old.
I hate stories like this. I swear I am going to start a “respect the guest” league that acts as an intervention for bride that just had to get married in the middle of fucking nowhere USA because she thought it would be a good backdrop for her pictures.
We all know it’s your day. You’ve done nothing but remind us and we are really excited for you. But don’t fuck it up. Don’t get so wrapped up in your day that you forget to take care of us. We are your guests. And we count too. So if you are planning on a black tie event in a remote location with a long break between the ceremony and cocktail reception, then we don’t want to come.