Posts in Toasts
Real Wedding Wednesday ~ A Warm, Gorgeously Romantic, Washington Wedding

And they're nice too... Can you believe it, bridey? Can you believe that a couple so handsome and so loving with each other (and everyone who is lucky enough to make their acquaintance) can be so nice too? I mean, holy shit... Some people just have it all, don't they? Well, good for them! Because in my experience, the peeps who have it all, usually are simply getting back what they give. And Geneva and Kellen must give a whole hell of a lot! I cannot tell you how refreshing it is to hear a statement like this in my industry, "It’s really hard to accurately describe how wonderful it is to photograph a couple that are simply SO NICE that it blows you away." This from Geneva and Kellen's photographer, Jenn of Jenn Ireland Photography.

This coupled with the extraordinary details like sparkly red shoes, a deliciously warm and almost intoxicating ambiance and the love that these two have for each other made me feel like I have been getting through to you, bridey!! It's fucking working!! Bitchless Bride works! Anyway... Enjoy the beautiful details and the beautiful couple.

Um... I need those shoes! (Suddenly, I keep chanting, "There's no place like home. There's no place like home.")Phew, we did it!! Got those FAB shoes on!Def one of my fave first looks!What a fine looking group of maids and men!Love the personalized flasks! Put them to good use boys!

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When NINE Minutes Really is Too Long
This post has me completely at odds with myself so I need you, the readers, to weigh in on this tough topic. And as much as I don’t want to lay it all out there in my typical straightforward style, I feel like I HAVE to or else I would be doing you, bridey, and your guests a major disservice because as a planner, I have witnessed several awkward attempts at sensitivity around this, only to watch the guests shift uncomfortably in their seats. The topic? How to appropriately acknowledge the loss of a parent at your wedding.
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"And then..."
Let me be blunt. Limit the number of toasts. Ask your friends what they hate most about weddings, and I bet the number one answer will be too many toasts that are far too long. Nobody gives a shit or understands the private jokes besides you, the groom and the person giving the toast. This is not your Bat Mitzvah and it is not appropriate for your friends to ramble on and on like a 13 year old.
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Thank You for Having Sex
Let me set the scene… I really want you to be able to visualize this in your minds eye. I want you to feel as uncomfortable as every guest in this beautiful venue felt as they listened to this poor chump deliver his toast. Picture a VERY conservative crowd of wasps sipping their very expensive champagne as the best man takes the microphone for his toast. He turns to the parents of the groom, and says, “Mr. and Mrs. Smith, I just want to thank you for having sex.”
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