A Groom's Perspective

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Wedding Planning... It's Only Temporary, Bridey

I had brunch with a close friend of mine recently, and this chick? Well, she's pretty fucking KICKASS!! And not because she's the CEO of some company or because she's got her shit together, but because of her perspective, bridey. You know, my favorite word in the whole wide world! PERSPECTIVE!! They say that you never know where your inspiration is going to come from, and let's just say that today's post hit me like a ton of bricks. You see, my kickass friend? Well, she's going through some awful shit these days. I won't get into the gory details, but it seems like all of the craziness is happening to her all at once. You know the saying about how shit happens in 3s? I seriously think this is her fourth or fifth. And instead of wallowing in her sorrow (which I would probably succumb to myself), she just keeps casually uttering, "It's only temporary." Wow. So simple, yet hard to do...

As a wedding planner, I've watched some pretty cool girls get rocked by their wedding planning simply because planning your wedding and real life are oftentimes a tough mix. But, as I listened to my friend say that, "It's only temporary", it kinda got me thinking about her healthy outlook. Instead of slipping into a dark place and lashing out at her friends and family, everyday she rises above how she feels, and looks forward; something that I think is really hard for all of us to do. How do you fit into this, bridey?

Well, if you look at planning your wedding as something that is only temporary, adjust your perspective (during the particularly difficult times like dealing with family dynamics and budget constraints) and realize that a year from now, life will most likely be totally different (depending on when you are getting married) then you too should be able to utter the phrase, "It's only temporary." The key? You'll actually have to adjust your thinking and believe in that statement. It won't be easy and it probably won't alleviate the stress and bullshit you are dealing with instantaneously, but it has the power of preventing you from getting in your own way, and rising above...

 

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Are You Waiting in Line or Enjoying the Ride? Some Perspective from a Very Perceptive Groom...

So, Eric, a super intuitive groom, emailed me and said that he'd written a post on his blog regarding the commercialization of weddings. And after I read his post; his perspective if you will, I fell in love with his idea that we are so busy waiting in line that we forget what we are waiting for... You see, bridey, he's currently engaged and wanted to share a bit about his perspective, as a groom (which we all see to dismiss most of the the time), about what he and his future wife, Leigh, are going through as they plan their wedding. His post begins as a dude watching USA hockey team duel Russia in the Winter Olympics.... I've underlined particular sections which I feel are so incredibly insightful that I needed them to stand out. 

Eric of The Sea Log:

I’m preparing for an Olympics of my own. My first, and hopefully last wedding (Leigh loves that joke).

I’m taking the big plunge into marital bliss. The world might not be watching, but the majority of my family and friends will be. So we have to make sure everything is perfect.

A wedding is stressful. So much thought, resources, and time go into planning one day*. Just like that, it’s over and we invade the Ukraine.

It’s troubling though. Somewhere along the line wedding planning dropped its trousers and took a big ol’ steroid shot of commercialism.

I’ve heard that people send out Save the Dates… not for the wedding, but to tell people that a Save the Date is coming.

Exsqueeze me?

I bet that Suit who invented Sweetest Day is pulling these levers.

I love my fiancé. I’m excited to marry her. I think about this quite a bit. I want it to be a great day that we remember for the rest of our lives, but I also don’t want to lose sight about what the marriage is actually about.

I don’t want to build up one day of wedding bliss and then business as usual a month later.

Life can feel like a busy theme park. We spend an hour in line for the coaster. Our anticipation grows as we imagine how great this 2 minute ride is going to be. Then it’s over and we get in line for the next thing.

At days end we stood in line talking about the future for 8 hours and shouted into the wind for 10 minutes.

I live in this theme park. Mostly in my head. The lines are really long too. Measured in years not hours and minutes.

  • Wedding day line – The girls always wear white in this line. Some strange tradition.
  • Buy a house line - No specific date on the calendar. It makes the line seems a lot longer than it is.
  • Start a family line - Currently as a single guy, this is like the line to the Haunted Catacombs. Scary anticipation greeted with screaming tears… mine not hers.
  • Save for kid’s college line - You got the point long before I ran out of analogies.

Eventually my theme park will close. When they board me up I hope I wasn’t standing in lines my whole life. Thinking about the next ride, instead of how I can make today awesome.