Posts tagged Bitch
How to Not Be a Bitch When Your Car Gets Stolen & Nobody Tells You It's Been Found

I have to share a story with you brideys, and it has nothing to do with being a better bride, or realistic tips on how to get shit done for your wedding. But, it is entertaining (to say the least), and if I don't write about it and get it off of my chest, then I might actually get really pissed off, and possibly arrested for my trash-talking mouth (shocking, I know).

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Zip It!
After such an incredible weekend orchestrating a destination wedding, there was just ONE thing that gave me rage. The best man… I mean… I’m just going to say it. Shut the fuck up! Seriously! I will tell you when it’s time to walk down the aisle, I will tell you when it’s time to give your toast, and I will tell you when it’s time to get your ass off the dance floor, but in the meantime, SHUT UP! Give me a little space to take care of the bride and groom. And not for nothing, I really don’t give a shit how you did it at your wedding (and neither do the other vendors); I care about what’s right for your best friend.
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Get Over Yourself
I don’t need YOU to educate ME. No really, I mean it. You know what happened the second you became engaged? You went public. Your email address, phone number and address. PUBLIC. What am I talking about? How? Well, how was the bridal event at the fancy hotel you attended? You were on the guest list, right? What about that cheeseball wedding expo? Did you win anything? No… but you entered that stupid raffle, didn’t you? If you entered to win a honeymoon, a wedding dress or even a dildo, we will find you and try to get your business (or us savvy ones will).
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