Posts tagged Bride
The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ A Crazy, Drunk Groom, a Naked Bitch and a Cinco de Mayo Witch

Let me start off by saying that our company must have some sort of magnet for the crazies.

Crazy #1, "The Drunk Groom"

Our company was hired by a bride and groom for their rental items. They requested delivery and set up the day before (nothing out of the ordinary). We arrived late afternoon the day before as promised with every item they rented. Set up was perfect, all good to go. Around 11:00pm that night, my phone rings. It's the groom. He's screaming that we were late and that the color is not at all what he wanted. It took us a while to actually make out what he was saying between the screams and slurred speech. My husband takes the phone and tries to explain that it is impossible for us to be late...everything was already set up and your wedding is tomorrow. And as far as the color, what are you talking about you saw the swatch beforehand. Somehow this man thought that it was going to look different in the room. He then demands that we switch out everything for a different color, which is impossible since it is now 11:30pm on a Friday. 

We try to explain that this is the color they ordered, we even send pictures of our linen swatches to show him. This only infuriates him more; he claims that he wants my husband to go there right now so he can kick his ass. Yes, this man on the night before his wedding is trying to fight us. My husband tells him to calm down, he's getting married tomorrow, and everything they ordered is there and ready to be used. The groom goes ballistic saying "How dare you f***ing threaten me?! You piece of sh**! You scumbag! I'm going to find you RIGHT NOW!” My husband responded, "Ok then, see you soon." We never heard from him again. 

The day after their wedding this man is supposed to be on his honeymoon (it was a destination wedding) enjoying his new bride, but no. He takes to the internet viciously bashing us everywhere he could, claiming the owner threatened him, we refused to help them, we were late to their wedding, and that everything was filthy. This was in 2012.

It is now 2014 and the man continues to stalk our company. Every few months we will receive notifications that he is updating his review or publishing reviews on companies that he thinks are related to us. 

Crazy #2, "Crazy Naked Bitch"

We were hired by a woman for a party at her home.

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The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Can I Get a HOLYSHITGODDAMN?

***Guest Post: Story by Heavy Cross***

Bitchless Beauty reporting for duty - though this time, as a super irate and fed up bride-to-be. And I think I know one way that brides can cut down on their stress, frustration, anger and the ensuing red mist that can only mean we're approaching Bitchzilla territory.

It's by saying 'fuck off' to those who REALLY need to hear it. NOT your wedding planner, NOT your make up artist, and NOT your caterer (i.e. the people you're paying, so thefore you feel some sort of entitlement). Your vendors know what they are doing, and you're paying them based on your own educated decision.

Say it to whomever has truly earned it. The people you're NOT paying. The people who DON'T know what they're doing. Yes - the people on your guest list, family members or old friends that you by now 'have' to get along with, so they know damned well they can throw tact to the wind and give you all sorts of advice about how they did it, how they would do it, and how you should do it.

I've been working in this industry for years, and I can safely say that I'm a pretty laidback bride - as in, close to horizontal. All I really care about is that the people I love are in the same place for the day, and that at the end of it I am married to my favourite person. If that happens, I've kicked a goal. I have swallowed and digested all manner of advice, recommendations, insinuations and ideas.

I get that everyone involved feels they have some sort of stake in or ownership of the wedding, and I know that it ultimately comes from a place of love and excitement. But, HOLYSHITGODDAMN.

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The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ The Bridal Party Breakup

It's the truth hurts Tuesday brideys! And boy do I have a story for you! The best part of this story (actually, more like the worst)? It happened to me. And looking back, I definitely should have and could have handled it better, but frankly I feel like I never should have been in this situation in the first place. Actually, that's why I am choosing to share this story with you so that if you are in a similar position as a bride-to-be, you won't do what this bride did. I mean, she completely put me on the spot and forced a reaction from me that was kind, but not truthful. Any idea where I am going with this brideys?

Here's a hint... Don't ask a very new friend (new as in you've known her for about two months) to be your MAID OF HONOR! It's a hell of an honor and a huge responsibility, so if you don't know somebody well enough, then you might not realize just how much you are asking of them. Instead of the honor that it should be, it may feel more like entrapment to your friend

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Happy Wife, Happy Life… Really?
Doesn’t the phrase “happy wife, happy life” seem a bit archaic to you? Perhaps a bit chauvinistic? It’s like this phrase single-handedly justifies a certain crop of women to behave badly. It’s like; “Uh-oh husbands… if your wife is a miserable bitch then you will be too, so you better keep her happy at all costs.” And you know what? You probably will be a miserable husband if your wife is miserable, but it’s not your fault. Well, it’s not all your fault. It’s only your fault if you enable your wife’s bad behavior, and buy into the bullshit that she’s the only one who gets to be happy in your marriage.
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She's a True Bitchless Bride, Nominated for Her Elegance and Grace

Hello brideys.... I didn't even know I wanted to do this. I mean, it wasn't on the radar or even near the radar, but as Bitchless Bride continues to grow, I am learning that it's not always about what I plan to do, it's about providing excellent content. And this, is excellent content.

I feel like it is my duty to share the following Bitchless Bride nomination with you. This story was submitted to me by a fellow wedding vendor, and it's so fucking fantastic, that I not only needed to show it to you, but it begs the question... Is there anybody you'd like to nominate as a true Bitchless Bride? 

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Here We Go Again... Vendors Afraid of Being Hit on Weddingwire and Yelp!

**STORY SUBMITTED BY AN INVITATION PROFESSIONAL**

Hey BB,

I have to share a story with you. I know this bride who complained about everything (I know this is a huge shocker for you). Seriously, nobody could make this bride happy. Of course, her poor fiancé was a doll, and we all just wanted to say, “Why are you with her?! Run while can, please!." Yes, she was on a tight budget, I get that but…

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How to Be Hot & Spicy Minus the Bitchy

{Image: Victor's Photojournalism via http://www.maharaniweddings.com}

I run a small Indian restaurant in a fairly large city. A huge part of our business if catering for weddings which mean I get to deal with crazy brides at least a couple times a week, if not more. 

The one thing I don't understand is why brides won't listen to me when I'm explaining the spice levels of the dishes they want. We are a authentic Indian restaurant, and our food is spicy though we do give you a choice on just how spicy you'd like for it to be. If I, someone who's been doing this for 5 years now, am telling you that its not a good idea to order Chicken Curry hot, it probably isn't. It doesn't matter if you can eat it hot, chances are 99% of your guests can't and are crying after eating two bites.

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This is How It's Done... Writing a Glowing Letter to Management

Good afternoon Mr. General Manager,

Please excuse the tardiness of this note; however it's taken me a while to determine exactly how I wanted to praise an absolutely incredible manager I had the pleasure of working with at your venue. Ms. Sarah Smith and I began our journey together last August 2011 upon signing the wedding contract of Ms. Amanda Frank and Mr. Samuel Counter to be married at your venue on October 13, 2012. We signed the contract with your sales team after much back and forth finally agreeing on the terms and conditions presented to us.

Sarah was quick to reach out and introduce herself. I immediately found her to be extremely knowledgeable, friendly and encouraging. And that was just the beginning...

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Life is not Fair; Get Used to It
Hello my name is Bitchless Bride and it’s been nine days since I was last used. It’s been nine days since I felt such an incredible high as I was showered with praise and gratitude from the vendors involved in “her” wedding, and at the same time experienced such an amazing crash as I thought about all of the times that my bride should have been smiling and wasn’t. This mess of feelings all within a fourteen-hour span... And I can’t seem to let it go. I can’t move on. I keep replaying the evening over and over again in my head. It’s like this bitch and her wedding are stuck on me. And after all of these years that I’ve “used”, I think the reason I can’t seem to move forward is because I refuse to accept that maybe this time, I got used. And you know what? I don’t like it.
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I'm Still in Recovery
Today I feel sick. Today I feel sad. And I know what this is all about... I have the after-wedding hangover. Irregardless of how much I fucking hated this bride, I worked my ass off for over a year making all of the details fit perfectly into this colossal event. I mean, I worked with her for sixteen months. SIXTEEN MONTHS! And even though she was a total bitch and pretty much every moment I spent with her was excruciating,
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Sorry, But It Ain't Kosher...
As I am preparing for the "big one" this weekend, I've been reflecting on the wedding I produced this past Saturday, and if I do say so myself, it was absolutely spectacular! I don't know if it was the full moon or what, but the decor was out of this world, the bride was stunning and sweet (totally one of the good ones), the food... OMG... the food was absolutely incredible (and that cake... holy shit! I had some alone time with the red velvet heaven, and boy was I a happy camper!), but there was one little annoying aspect that only two people knew about; the cranky old man, and me.
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Don't be Fooled by the "Rocks" That I Got

You know what I am getting so sick of hearing? (I bet you'll never guess based on the picture...)

"Oh my God! You're a wedding planner? How EXCITING? Are you like, JLo?" REALLY? C'mon people. When did that movie even come out?

Besides, is my job really that exciting? Because to me it's actually quite stressful, super aggravating, and oftentimes has me thinking about why I couldn't have more of a "normal" job like everybody else. And you know what? No you can't call me fucking JLo. I mean if you really think about it, JLo's character in that movie is kinda of depressing. Let's strip down the "glamorous" wedding planning part for just a sec... Does anybody else find it a bit melancholy that she comes home after her event, eats by herself, and ultimately falls in love with one of her grooms? And you know what? The ending NEVER would have been that amicable... Fists would have been a flyin'...

But anyway... Similar to the Rainbows and Unicorns post I wrote (you know, the one about the young aspiring wedding planners with a giant hard-on for "the industry"? The ones who email me their resume every fucking day?), this post is along the same vein, but these people don't actually want to do my job. Instead, they usually just have super boring jobs, like in finance or something, and attack me with questions because obviously what I do is much more exciting. And I get it, but if you reallly want to take something away from being a wedding planner, then I'll fill you in on what I tell myself when the going gets rough and tough. (Brideys, pay close attention because if you want to be remembered like this, by all of your vendors, then quickly evaluate if you deserve it by educating yourselves via BB.)

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