I am OBSESSED with Melanie. Like totally, unequivocally obsessed with her. Who's Melanie? Well, you see that absolutely adorable bride up there? Yeah, that's Melanie. And when Melanie emailed me her hilarious wedding story, I fell over. I died. Not only did she do an amazing job capturing each and every emotion she felt during her wedding planning, but she's fucking funny! Seriously, I bet that if Mel and I hung out over a few cocktails, we'd either get kicked out of the bar or the whole bar would have a good time watching us dish. The coolest part? When she emailed her wedding photographs to go with her story, I was in complete awe.
Check it out:
The Center Peace ~ by Melanie Vare
After the sixth batch of centerpiece emails with my design savvy girlfriends - it hit me what I had become. I promised my fiancé that I wouldn’t be the type of girl who gets all consumed by the nitty-gritty details of planning a wedding. But, here’s the problem, centerpieces don’t just walk up on to the tables themselves! Someone’s got to create the wedding vision. And, someone’s got to execute it.
I heard that in the old days the groom used to plan the wedding. I’d like to see pictures of those centerpieces — bowls of potato chips and buckets of beer. My fiancé informed me that if it were up to him there would be no centerpieces at all. In his defense, this was after I made the rookie mistake of running by him, my gamut of ideas. Guys do not like ideas. Especially centerpiece ideas, which ranged from lemon trees at each table to a gorgeous medley of yellow flowers and yellow fruits. Our color was obviously yellow...along with gray, but I decided to ignore that color since the only gray flowers and fruits were either dead or moldy.
(That's their comedian officiant... Can't you see it?!!)
My fiancé gasped at my endless ideas, especially the lemon tree.
“Really? He asked. “A lemon tree?”
Then he let out a long, deep groan. It was the same confused cry I heard him make a few days earlier. I remember running frantically to our home office, wondering who had died or what kind of shenanigans the Tea Party had gotten into now. But instead, my fiancé spun around in his black leather office chair and behind him I could see he was logged on to our Crate & Barrel registry.
(This video is 42 seconds, and it's called, "Any Objections". You MUST watch it! Remember, the officiant is a comedian!)
“A mango slicer!? He asked.
I thought he’d be thrilled