Way back in December of 2011, I wrote a post called "Fuck Off". And if you missed it, then you need to read it. Because it's important know when to tune out the noise. When to tune out the peanut gallery of EVERYBODY offering their advice about your wedding and your wedding plans. And you know what, brideys? It's April 2, 2013, and wedding season is about to go into full swing, so I think we need to discuss how you're going to handle the several comments you are about to receive.
Seriously, the minute that gorge engagement ring sparkles on your finger, everybody from the dude at the fucking mall kiosk will be offering his advice on guest management or which DJ to hire or something that "you just have to do"... And you know what, bridey? The Truth Hurts Tuesday isn't limited to me providing you with an education. Right? Because if you want to keep some modicum of your sanity during your wedding planning, then it's time for you to educate the peanut gallery.
Considering that like four people were reading Bitchless Bride in 2011 when I wrote the orginal, "Fuck Off", and considering how important this topic is for newly engaged brides and brides who are quickly approaching their wedding day, I think it's important to revisit this topic... But, we are going to do it a bit differently this time. Today, I'll give you a few one liners to keep in your back pocket for the people who constantly feel the need to provide an unsolicited opinion:
1. Remember that people are stupid. Right? And stupid people will say stupid shit and ask stupid questions their entire life. Seriously, these are the same people who ask a newly married couple when the baby is coming (just wait, bridey...). DUMB. STUPID. I mean, perhaps they have been trying with no luck since the wedding or perhaps they've suffered a few miscarriages... um... awkward... (My advice? Just fire back with, "We're practicing, a lot. How's your sex life?")