Money

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Why Planning Your Wedding Actually IS a Full Time Job!

You know that nagging feeling when when someone says something to you that you just can't shake? And, in the long run, you know it's not a big deal, but mentally, you can't let it go? Well, I am having one of those moments. Last month, I wrote, "Help! I'm Not Excited for My Wedding", which was also featured on Huffington Post, and one of the comments stuck with me. Like, it's been nearly a month, and I just cannot let it go. I keep coming back to the article waving my hands in the air and swearing at the screen. The comment? Well, this woman said, "Are you kidding? It's not a full time job to plan a wedding and if it is, you're doing it wrong. Seriously, you've got to be kidding, it's not that hard." I know, right? What the fuck? (And, not for nothing, I'm curious what her wedding was like...)

The thing is, bridey, the woman who wrote this comment? She's not alone. Several people believe that planning a wedding is easy, and that you must be doing it "wrong" if you're stuck. And, as somebody who has planned a gazillion weddings, I can tell you with absolutely certainty that there is nothing easy about planning a wedding. I mean... Forget the décor, logistics and the wedding gown... That's the easy part. That's the gravy. The full time job is balancing the precarious combination of family, money and anxiety. Right? That's the shit that makes planning a wedding difficult. That's the shit that takes on a life of its own. Now, does that give you the right to be an entitled, bridey bitch because things are challenging? No, but it does give you the right to raise your hand and ask for help; something I feel that brides should do more often. (Ahem... Hire a wedding planner!)

On Bitchless Bride, I stand on my hot pink soap box and preach about being nice while planning your wedding, by on the same token, I preach the brutal truth about WHY weddings can be such a pain in the ass. Let's be honest, dealing with family dynamics and financial shit when you're not planning a wedding can be laborious, but dealing with family dynamics and financial shit while planning a wedding? Fucking brutal. Seriously, that's why I wrote, "Help! I'm Not Excited for My Wedding" in the first place. The three P's (pressure, precedence and perfection) can really fuck you up when you're trying to balance all of the other delicate pieces of planning a wedding. For most brides, it takes a lot of strength to filter out the noise and push forward. That's why so many couples head to Vegas!

See why I'm so pissed about that stupid comment? One little, asinine, blanket statement managed to completely minimize everything a bride goes through to keep up her balancing act. Because, to some of you, planning your wedding actually IS full time job simply because of the dynamics you're dealing with along the way. Bridey, I know I can be tough on you, but this time? I 100% have your back. So, stay strong! Plan the wedding that you want, and don't let stupid little comments get in your way. I'll try to do the same!

Image via Mushy Cloud 

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Tipping... Honestly? It's Always Expected and Always Appreciated

As I come off of my high from the weekend filled with super successful events, I am even more elated because this girl is on her way to go get herself some absolutely not needed new shoes. Why? Well, because first of all, I am awesome, but more importantly because I got a fat tip from one of my clients. Did I expect it? Sure did. But, even though I expected a tip doesn't always mean that'll I receive one, regardless of how much my client "loves me, and couldn't get through it without me." Call me an asshole, but it's true. I expected and this time I received. 

Sounds terrible, right? Yeah, I know it does, but I also know that no matter how much time and energy I put into planning every wedding and event, I don't get paid nearly enough. None of your wedding vendors do, bridey. Because all of us are focused on staying competitive (with each other), even if it means taking a hit financially. And quite frankly, usually the breakdown in hours spent ensuring your wedding day is going to be fucking sensational, is about that of an hourly employee at McDonald's. Actually, I bet in some cases, they make more dough then we do. Because, never mind how much we charge, nine times out of ten you're always going to get more than you paid for... It's just the nature of the the industry. We say "yes" a hell of a lot more than any other industry.

Bridey, I have written quite a bit about tipping your wedding vendors, and have also had guest bloggers write about tipping your wedding vendors. Bottom line? TIP YOUR FUCKING WEDDING VENDORS.

Tips Are Appreciated, Not Expected... Unless You Tell Me I'm Getting One

I've said this a million times before... Tipping is always appreciated, not expected. If you feel as though somebody has gone above and beyond for you, a tip is a nice way of expressing your appreciation. Gifts are nice too, but let’s be honest... money says it best!

But here's the thing bridey, it's one thing not to tip. Fine. I get it. But, if you request the names and positions of the people who participated in making your day special (AHEAD OF TIME), and then don't follow through... Well, that's just bad form. And frankly, it's rude.