Mother of the Bride

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Five Ways to Get Your Parents Under Control While Planning Your Wedding

Bridey, if you have difficult parents (and that's being nice), raise your hand. If you are looking for some refuge during your wedding planning, raise your hand. Right?!! The first step is admitting it! Because bridey, it's nothing to be ashamed of; you're not alone, trust me. Pretty much every single bride I have worked with has had some shit with her parents, and even those of you with lovely relationships deal with issues from time to time that can make your blood boil. That said, I hope that you are at the age where you've learned how to manage said issues and the litany of bullshit which can wreak havoc on your wedding plans.

After one of my more recent conversations with a truly cray cray mother of the bride (MOB), who during the course of one conversation managed to completely undo all of progress I had made with the bride, it occurred to me that I feel like I need to share a bit of advice about how to control your parents while planning your wedding. 

1. Manage your expectations and set boundaries, and early. Your parents (although usually it's your mom, sorry, but true) are not going to change. So, once you get engaged, agree to be a united front so that your are not putting your vendors in a position of refereeing during (or after) your appointment. Not only is it super uncomfortable for us, but it's awkward and confusing. We walk away wondering whose wishes we are suppposed to grant. Yikes! 

2. Give your parents a really important job (outside of paying the bill). Let them choose the music for the parent dances. Or, ask them to welcome your guests. Basically, something that will make them feel involved with the planning and touched at the same time.

3. Invite them to the tasting. But, establish (or remind them of) the boundaries prior to the appointment. Bridey, you don't have to let them choose the entire menu.

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Mother of the Bride Blues

 So... I received this "Ask Bitchless" in my mailbox the other day and feel as though the only way I can possbily respond is "in person"... And considering my own parents were married on a Tuesday, I have a few words of wisdom for the "Internal Eloper". Here's her dilemma:

Hello BB,

I’m in need of some advice. My fiancé and I have decided our wedding date (yay!). It’s Wednesday, October 29, 2014, the exact date of our ten year anniversary. SCREETCH! Did you say WEDNESDAY?! Yes, Wednesday. We wanted to keep our original anniversary date, but have only one hold up... my mother.

My parents are traditionalists and believe that weddings are reserved for Saturdays, and that the parents of the bride should be the ones funding the soiree. That being said, they want us to change the date to sometime later in 2015 so that they have time to gather the funds, and for us to choose a weekend date so that my grandmother (and all of her extended family who I have never met) can see her only granddaughter get married. As my mother said, "this day is not about you. It is about your grandma. Don't take this pleasure away from us." Am I crazy? Am I turning into a bitchy bride by wanting to keep my original date? Please let me know.

Sincerely,
Internal Eloper

 

What a Double Mastectomy Has to do with Wedding Planning

Today was my day to babysit... It was my day to provide support, both physically and emotionally; except this time it wasn't for a needy bridey. It was for my best friend. And seriously, it's been a long time since I  took a trip to the toilet with another chick who wasn't sporting a wedding dress, but... you do what you have to do for the people you love. And today, her husband needed to step out for a bit, so I stepped in to look after my girl. You see, she was released from the hospital yesterday evening after undergoing a prophylactic bilateral mastectomy on Monday. But... that's a whole other story...