Posts tagged Perspective
The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Getting to Know Bitchless Bride... My Life After My Wedding

By the time you read this, I will be 37 years old. Wow... Could I be more dramatic? But, seriously, I feel like I just got married, and my trip down the aisle was ten years ago! TEN FUCKING YEARS! Oh my God! I was 27!! And maybe I'm still obsessed with weddings because I'm in "the industry", and all I do is eat, breathe and sleep it, or maybe it's because I eloped and never had a wedding to call my own, but no matter what, it still feels like my "wedding" was yesterday. The only difference? My perspective is completely different than it was ten years ago. And you know what? I lucked the fuck out.

Why am I so lucky? Well, see the pic? That's the card my hus got for me for my birthday (along with these...). And when I met this guy, I wasn't ready at all. Like... AT ALL!! Fast forward fourteen years later (we were together four years before he proposed)... Dude is the father of my child, responsible for several (almost painful) belly laughs and putting up with my bullshit. When I really think about it, we are light years away from where we were on our wedding day. And for some reason my birthday got me thinking about how different life is now, than before even having started with a solid foundation before we said "I do."

I'd say that the absolutely scariest part of my marriage was when my hus nearly died less than a year after we got married.

Read More
The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Five Ways to Avoid Being a Micromanager on Your Wedding Day

Bridey, I can handle a lot of things, but the one thing I cannot stand is to be micromanaged. Period. So, please don’t micromanage me. And please don’t micromanage your vendors. The funny thing is that I’m not talking about now; the wedding planning process. I’m talking about on your wedding day. Seriously, don’t you have enough on your mind? Like, oh, I don’t know… your wedding vows, your reception and how basically every single person you love will be in the same room at the same time… That’s a big deal, bridey. HUGE actually, and I hate to say it, but that will most likely only happen one other time in your life. Yeah, I’ll let you figure that one out yourself.

As I was saying, this is our job. We, your vendors, do this most every weekend throughout the year (more or less), and hopefully you will only do this once. And when you take a step back, who has more experience? I’ll give you a hint, it ain’t you babe! So, please, just enjoy your wedding day because not only do you deserve to be utterly happy, but we have worked incredibly hard making it happen for you.

Look, I know that it’s easier said than done, so I thought I would give you a few pointers on how to prevent your bridey ass from turning into a micromanager on your wedding day:

1. I know this is simple, but just resist the urge to micromanage. Every time you feel it bubbling up, think about the big picture and all of the professionals you have hired to do their jobs. Bridey, you are not on the clock today. You should literally just sit there looking pretty and enjoying yourself.

2. Remember how I said that you hired professionals? Well bridey, give yourself a round of applause because there is a reason why you hired WHO you hired, right? So let go of all your Type A mannerisms and allow said professionals to do the job you hired them to do.

3. On that note, let them (your vendors) do their job their way. Perhaps you’ve dabbled in photography or were an MC in college. That’s great, but please don’t begin suggesting amazing shots that your photographer just “has to take” or making turntable recommendations to your DJ. They’ll figure it out! They always do. Bridey, unless there is something specific that you forgot to communicate to one of your vendors or the venue prior to your wedding, ease off and just relax!

Read More
The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Retrospective Perspective

Bridey, have you ever looked back at certain moments in your life and uttered, “OMG in retrospect, if I could go back, I’d do it all differently…” Seriously, who hasn’t, right? I mean, there are SEVERAL instances in my life which have me uttering, “Holy crap, what the fuck was I thinking?!” CRINGE! The reason I am bringing this up is because I’d hate for you to look back on your wedding and ask yourself, “How come I was such a bitch during my wedding planning?”

The reality? How you choose to behave during your wedding planning will be part of your wedding memories. And do you really want those memories marked with such aggravation and bitchiness? Trust me, your vendors will get over it and forget about you after the wedding. But, your behavior is something that you can’t take back, and if you were a total bitch during your planning, I'd be willing to be that down the road, you’ll wish you weren’t.

Rather than preach to you about how you’ll regret your bad behavior, blah blah blah, let’s try to figure out what has you so worked up, and what we can do about it.

· Is it the money? I mean, let’s be honest, you’re probably spending more for one day than you will ever spend in your life. But, bridey, it’s important to separate the money from the emotion. Period. If things get messed up, sorry… WHEN things get messed up, you’ll deal with it and you’ll still get married. Your life won't be ruined, okay? So, don’t sweat the small stuff.

· Is it your in-laws? Fiancé? Both? Well then talk about it! For God’s sake, if you don’t communicate NOW, then what does this say about your marriage; your future; the rest of your life? If this is a glimpse into your future, then obviously you are freaked out. But, bridey, if that’s the case, then you need to talk about it. And go straight to the source(s) because taking it out on everybody else is not helping, it’s hurting. Don’t pussyfoot around either. Be blunt. Be bold. Be bitchless.

· Is it nerves? Are you worried that you don’t know how to do this? That your wedding will suck? Well, settle down. Nobody expects perfection. In fact, most of your guests don’t even want to go to your wedding. True story. So, get over it. Do yoga, exercise, take Xanax, have some wine and get down and dirty with your man. I mean, not all on the same day or time, but…

Read More
The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Sometimes, Even BB Needs a Little Perspective
I'm not going to lie, sometimes, I (too) get so caught up in the wedding planning process that every now and then, I require a much needed reminder not only about the significance behind the event, but the reason I was hired to help plan the wedding. I have to separate myself from the beautiful design, an excited bride and overwhelming desire to make each and every detail sparkle and get myself centered; get my shit together. Get some PERSPECTIVE! Why? Well, even though it's not my wedding, in a similar fashion to the how the bride oftentimes finds herself miles away from where she started (be it from a budget standpoint, design aesthetic, etc.), occasionally, so do I. And it's super important that at least one of us remembers what the hell we're doing all of this amazing preparation for... a union of two people who want the world to witness their love, and commitment to each other. Because it's more than just a fucking party; it's a celebration; it's a public promise; it's the beginning of a whole new life. Soooo... as excited as we both get during the planning, I must focus and not to lose sight of the big picture.
Read More
The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Is This Going to Matter in a Year?
After a busy weekend filled with an amazingly beautiful wedding, tons of family dynamics, and plenty of booze, I wanted to share another dose of perspective with you, bridey. The only way I can reasonably get my point across is by quoting the Rolling Stones; a line I can clearly hear my father singing to me in my early days... "You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you get what you need." Now that we're all going to be singing that for the rest of the day... Brideys, this is an important lesson. I mean it, please try to remember this phrase as you are working hard making the arrangements for your weddings. Don't let something you THINK you need steal your thunder. Don't let little disappointments capture your mojo. And if you find these little things piling up, then ask yourself this, "Is this going to matter in a year?" Will I give a shit about this particular detail a year from now?
Read More
Happy Bridey, Happy Wedding (Planning)

Good morning brideys… I must admit I had to take some time off this weekend. I just needed a break. So, I forced myself to go MIA on Twitter, FaceBook and even Pinterest (I know! Can you believe it?). Because sometimes I just need to completely disconnect... And all I really wanted to do this weekend is play all by myself. It’s strange; sometimes you even need a break from the things you love. Like really love, like the way I love everything about Bitchless Bride. And admittedly, there are even some days that I need a break from my reality, my marriage and basically all responsibility. That’s not to say that I go crazy, cheat on my husband or steal shit, but when I feel this way, it’s important to focus on something that it’s important to me. And this weekend it was shopping, reading, catching up with an old friend and working out.

Read More
In Sickness and in Health... Before the Wedding

{Photograph via Jennifer Brotchie Photography}

So, remember that freebie I mentioned a while back in my "Listen Up" post? You know, the wedding I am planning for free because the bride and groom are my friends? Well, it is coming up this weekend and I could not be more thrilled for several reasons, but most of all because the groom is healthy. The groom is alive, and not in pain. And for that, all of our hard work feels absolutely incredible. This truly is a celebration not only for the union of two people who love each other, but for two people who have already been through sickness and health together. Not to mention a groom that survived a major surgical operation with flying colors, and loves to show off the scars. 

Read More
Putting Things into Perspective... Hurricane Sandy and her Wrath
Here comes my favorite word again, perspective. And after the storm, I feel like it would inconsiderate to write about anything wedding related or super pretty, or pretty bitchy. Because perspective really is the bitch in this scenario… So, I abandoned my original post for today… And it was going to be a good one too. All about Barbie… no really, it was! I had an awesome correlation back to the wedding industry,
Read More