Strapless to Fabulous

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Five Ways to Beat Wedding Dress Back Fat

When I look at the the Bitchless Bride stats, a common search that lands people on the site is "hiding back fat in a wedding dress" or "how to eliminate back fat in a wedding dress". The reason so many of you end up on BB while conducting these searches is because I wrote an article last April called, "From Strapless to Fabulous". And honestly, it pissed some of you off, but it seemed to resonate with most of you. So, let's call this a continuation of sorts... And again, some of you are gonna hate me, but today is all about the truth, so deal with it.
1. I'm a curvy girl. I have what they classify as "hour glass" figure.  I'm a size 8/10 with a little waist and a pretty fab rack. But, the price I pay for such a fine rack is occasional back fat. That's why, when given the choice, I don't usually go for a strapless dress. I would rather avoid the whole fatty back thing, and the whole pulling it up all night thing, and just choose something with a halter or some spaghetti straps, and move on. And if you feel like I do, then my advice? Just avoid the whole "I need a strapless dress for my wedding or I'm gonna die..." thing... Don't do it. Bat fat problem? GONE!! See how easy that was? Problem solved. Pick something else.

2. If you're completely hell bent on walking down the aisle in a strapless gown, then lose some weight. There, I said it. Sorry, but it's true.

Fuck Yeah Tuesday ~ BB's Gone Fishin'

Sooooo... I need a little break. And over the years, I've learned that if I don't take a little break from "the industry" then I become a complete fucking basket case. So, guess what I'm doing? Yup, I'm taking a fucking break... And you know what? Bitchless Bride is not invited to my little vacation either. But, never fear, brideys, I'll still be tweeting, pinning and facebooking (but, mostly because I am incredibly addicted and couldn't stop even if I wanted to...), but this week, I am taking a break from working, blogging and basically all responsibilities.

Bridey, if you are beginning to feel sad because the reality that I will be taking a week off is starting to sink in, then I have a few ideas for you. You see, I put together a reading list for you (hopefully, it's shit you'll read while sipping something extremely alcoholic on a beach somewhere):

1. How about a little "Swamp Ass"?

2. Need a little help choosing your wedding dress? Then check out "From Strapless to Fabulous"!

3. How many of you think you are going to "do it" on your wedding night? C'mon... "Give it to me Brideys"!

4. Do you know your first dance song? Need some help with the "Music and Lyrics"? 

5. Want a colorful and different engagement shoot? Learn how to do it well, and "Color Me Mine"!

6. Considering eloping (like me)? Then do it right! Perhaps "A Retro Elopement in Vegas"?

7. Need a break from weddingy stuff? I TOTALLY get it... This will take your mind off of it! Some bridey bitch really pissed me off! So I fired back in "Bitchless Gone Bad".

8. Great Gatsby your thing? Then you gotta check this out!! "A Great Gatsby OBSESSED Photo Shoot".

9. Need a little peace? Then get it! Read "The Center Peace", by Melanie Vare...

10. And finally... you ALL need to see about "A Fabulously Extraordinary Vintage English Wedding".

See you next Tuesday!!! HA! I just fell over... But, this time? I really mean it!  

Stay Bitchless...

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