Tipping

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ 5 Amped Up Tips on How to Not be a Bridey Bitch...

Back in March of 2013, I wrote 5 Tips on How to Not be a Bridey Bitch. Damn, was I smart. Seriously, if all of you crazy brides read that post last year, then perhaps we wouldn't have to revisit what it means to be an awesome bride today. Because as I get deeper and deeper into wedding season, it is apparent that some of you need a refresh. And with spring wedding season right around the corner, I feel like it's my duty to educate (more like save you from yourselves) you on how to not be a bridey bitch, get more from your wedding planning, and still have friends after your wedding! So today let's revist these five tips, and perhaps maybe even learn a few more pointers on how to not be a bridey bitch!

Back to the Basics: Here we go again ~ 5 Amped Up Tips on How to Not be a Bridey Bitch:

1. Fucking... be nice. You get more sugar with honey (or however the hell that phrase goes!)... Make people WANT to help you. If you're rude, then you don't get any damn sugar. PERIOD.

I'm STILL preaching this a year and a half later. Actually, this has been my shtick from BB's inception. Bridey, the secret behind successful wedding planning? Attitude! What you put out comes back... tenfold! So, if you're nice, then the wedding world will be nice to you. 

2. Don't take advantage of the perks of the industry; our industry. What are you talking about BB? Well, a few days ago, I received a short story from a fellow vendor, and part of what she wrote  really resonated with me... She said (referring to a bride), "When you come in for a hair and make-up trial, and then get the stylist to do a complimentary trial on your mom and sister, you just might be taking a tad bit of an advantage. The service is for you, not for your entourage!!" Brideys, this shit happens ALL the time! You must stop assuming that everything is free! If your mom wants her makeup done, well, then she has to pay for it. 

This one still pisses me off. I swear, the hospitality industry is the only industry where everybody somehow thinks that everything is complimentary simply because you are getting married and are partaking in a particular service. It's not... Fuck you. Pay me.

3. Please don't assume... What is that stupid saying? Assume: Makes an ASS out of U and ME. Bridey, if you're getting married at a hotel or restaurant, don't assume that just because you stopped by or you were "in the neighborhood" that a) we can drop everything to see you because you have arrived, and b) that we need to sponsor your cocktails and appetizers in our bar. Several people do business with this establishment. If we treated all of them to freebies, most likely we'd be fired. You are no exception.

I cannot tell you how many times this happened to me at the fancy hotel where I used to plan events. My clients would just drop in, ask for me, and then basically stand there with their hand out.

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Don't Do Me Any Favors

"Are you fucking kidding me? REALLY?" she asked. This was the response from an overworked, underpaid and pissed off venue employee. "ALL of that for two fucking French macarons? Seriously, why do I even bother?" she asked and walked away in a huff. "Nice 'tip'."

Brideys, as we are heading into a busy spring wedding season, I cannot stress enough how important it is to tip the vendors who work their asses off for you. I'm not saying that you "owe" them (particularly if they did not perform well or if they just plain ol' sucked), but if you are going to make like 800 demands (all the way down to the light bulb brand used in function space), and expect that your demands are met, then you know what? You DO owe them, and you better show your appreciation... with CASH. Giving them a $4.00 favor that you are giving to all of your guests? Yeah, it doesn't cut it. Actually feels more like a "fuck you" than a nice little sweet treat. It's definitely not how you should show your appreciation to anybody who has gone out of their way for you (especially if they were the ones who helped you procure said macarons!).

Bridey, I have written about this a million fucking times, and so has The Tipping Fairy (a Vendor Vent), and even Martha Stewart has written about tipping your wedding vendors! If you pushed your vendors HARD, and they lived up to all of said demands (ahem... changing the brand of light bulbs for your wedding), then show them. Give them a nice fat envelop, write something nice, and build it into your wedding budget.

BB's Gone and Lost Her Marbles

Aren't they beautiful? The marbles. My marbles? Yeah... I'm pretty sure I've completely lost them. Seriously, it dawned on me the other day that perhaps I needed a teeny tiny break this week when I got into the shower wearing my underwear and didn't notice until I made it to the 'whole washing my body' part (you know... shampoo, then conditioner, and while the conditioner is "conditioning", I wash my bod). See? See what I mean? Those lovely balls... FUCKING GONE.

So, rather than phone it in (which I would NEVER do on Bitchless Bride) when I feel hazy and far from creative, I thought that I would take a breather, and get back to you next Tuesday. Fair enough? 

Until then, brush up on some my favorite posts from the early, more vulgar days of BB:

Am I Supposed to Tip These People?

Fuck Off!!

Life is Not Fair; Get Used to it 

Image via Letting the Words Escape

Tips Are Appreciated, Not Expected... Unless You Tell Me I'm Getting One

I've said this a million times before... Tipping is always appreciated, not expected. If you feel as though somebody has gone above and beyond for you, a tip is a nice way of expressing your appreciation. Gifts are nice too, but let’s be honest... money says it best!

But here's the thing bridey, it's one thing not to tip. Fine. I get it. But, if you request the names and positions of the people who participated in making your day special (AHEAD OF TIME), and then don't follow through... Well, that's just bad form. And frankly, it's rude.

Show Me the MONEY!!

Written by The Tipping Fairy...

You want a vent? Well, here it is.

I am just appalled/disgusted/frustrated/driven-to-tears by the information on the Internet by supposed bridal “authorities” regarding the issue of tipping wedding vendors. 

The common rule of thumb proclaimed by these wedding-wise leaders is usually along the lines of: “You’re already shelling out a ton of money for your wedding, the vendors probably charge you more for a wedding versus another event (i.e., we’re all out to screw young couples), and no, you really don’t have to do this.”

Am I Supposed to Tip These People?

I will never understand why this even a question. The question SHOULD be, “who should I tip, and how much?” not “am I supposed tip these people?” Think about it… Tipping is a token of appreciation and gratitude for a job well done… Perhaps it isn’t as obvious to those of you not in “the industry”, but to put it into perspective… Would you leave an incredible dinner at your favorite restaurant without tipping? Well, consider this the dinner of your life.