Wedding Countdown

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ It's Time to Trash the Wedding Day Countdown

Today, I've decided to pick up from where I left off last week… In case you missed my post last Tuesday, I wrote Five BASIC Ways to be The Best Bride Ever! Let's focus on # 4… You know the whole wedding day countdown? The “63 Days Until I’m Mrs. Whogivesafuck” post on FaceBook? Don't get me wrong, some of you need a countdown so that it prompts you to remember to get off your ass and get the shit done for your wedding which has been on your “to do” list for too long. But, for you cray cray brideys (and you know who you are), a wedding day countdown can be your own personal hell. You log into your account on The Knot, and you see that you have 68 days until your wedding, sorry, ONLY 68 days until your wedding, and you break out into a cold sweat, and then proceed to torture the rest of us; namely your vendors.

Outside of constantly seeing wedding countdown shit all over FaceBook, I happen to be working with a bride who EVERY TIME we talk (and that's quite a bit), she tells me how many days there are until the wedding. EVERY FUCKING TIME! I mean, it’s all I can do not to dropkick her ass. Seriously, when she breaks out into the whole number of days, hours, and minutes until her wedding, I reach for the Xanax. And, it's not for her, it's for ME! NOT because I am stressed; this is my job, bridey, I got this, but because I need to calm my body so that I don’t pound this chick!

Bridey, of course you should be aware of how much time you have until your wedding! But, knowing how long you have until your wedding should excite you, not stress you to the point of panic. Because panic makes you say and do shit that isn’t logical.

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Five Basic Ways to be The Best Bride EVER!

Mind if I skip the bullshit and get right to it today? Seriously, I want to tell all of you brideys how to the be the best bride you can be, but I would like to do it without sugar coating the truth. Can I do that, please? Cool, thank you. Because lately I feel like I am working with some "newbies" (as in, newly engaged), and you girls aren't quite as well versed in your bridal manners as you could be, so here it goes...

Let's start with the basics, shall we?:

1. Manage your expectations. I've said it a million times, and I'll say it again. Bridey, don't forget to manage your expectations (and your manners) during the wedding planning process. Right now, you are eating, sleeping and definitely drinking all things wedding. It's all you can think (and talk) about, and oftentimes you find yourself super frustrated when you reach out to one of your wedding vendors and they don't get back to you fast enough. Like, ten minutes after you hit "send". Or when you're out with your girlfriends and thirty minutes go by and nobody else has said a word except you. When you finally come up for air, they are SLEEPING. Be respectful. Because, bridey, nobody cares as much as you do. So, MANAGE your expectations if you want to get through the process unscathed.

2. Quit being a bitch. To your vendors, to your fiance, to your friends, to your mother, and to the holy ghost! I know that wedding planning is like taking on a second job. And it's fucking stressful. TRUST ME, I KNOW! You're basically moonlighting, and it's a lot to take on, but get your 'tude in check. Bridey, the nicer you are, the more people want to help you through the process. Right? So, quit being a bitch.

3. Drop the holier than thou attitude. Along the same lines of "quit being a bitch", rockin' a holier than thou attitude because you're the bride is just as annoying, and you know what? NOBODY CARES! Bridey, you know how many brides there have been before you? And how many brides there are going to be after you? Getting married is nothing new. And when you treat people shit because you're the bride, yeah... It's bullshit.