Wedding Season

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Back OFF Bridey!

I'm frustrated. I'm annoyed. I'm pissed off. I'm working with the bride who is actually quite nice. She's funny and intelligent. She knows what she wants. And so far, working with her has been lovely. Well, until recently. Her wedding isn't until 2015 (June of 2015 to be specific), and she is absolutely so hung up on one detail of the wedding (that she just wants to "cross off" her list), and is getting all pissy because the vendor she is beginning to stalk, I mean working with, isn't so quick to get back to her.

Here we go again, bridey. It seems like no matter how many times I say it, I cannot seem to get it to stick. So, let me jump up on my fucking soap box (yet again), and remind you that if your wedding isn't until 2015 or even 2016, you don't count right now. Sorry, but I speak the truth. And your vendors are too nice to say it (as they should be), but I am not! Right now, your vendors are in the middle of fall wedding season, 2014, and unless your wedding is rapidly approaching, then you'll just have to wait. And, I know it's hard. And, I know that you want to cross shit off of your list, but it's not okay to budge in line. And, by being a demanding bride, that is essentially what you're doing when you're stalking a vendor for an answer that you need RIGHT NOW.

Bridey, you must give all of us (vendors) some time to not only GET the answer to your question, but do the appropriate research required so we don't give you the wrong answer simply so that WE can cross YOU off of OUR list. Again, bridey, I am in no way suggesting that it is okay for a vendor to not respond to you; all I am saying is that if you receive an email stating that they will look into it once the dust settles (from the current wedding season), then let it go! And in fairness, you might not realize it, but what you are asking of your vendor might require precious hours that they just don't have. The solution? Move on to a simpler task for you to "cross off" of your list; one that does not require assistance from your vendors, wait your turn and quit your bitchin', bridey!

Vendors? Care to chime in here? Are you working with a bride who is driving you nuts for answers, but her wedding isn't until 2015 or 2016???

Image via she FINDS

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ A Quick & Dirty Etiquette Refresher for All of You Brides to Be!

I feel a rant coming on... And maybe it's because I'm on vacation next week and I feel my patience wearing thin or maybe it's because I'm feeling completely burnt out from the craziness of wedding season, but this bridey really pissed me off. Know why? Well, she was a guest at this particular wedding (I knew she'd be there), and not only did she ask me several questions about her own wedding, comparing décor details and whatnot and even a few logistical questions, but she serial texted me décor ideas that she liked for her own wedding or would things she would change, as I was in the midst of running the event. Yeah... Are you fucking kidding me?

So, my clients obviously knew each other, which is great, but when I'm running the event that I have put my blood, sweat and maybe even a few tears into, get outta my face. Seriously. Bridey, your day will come, and right now, I'm fucking busy making sure this event is flawless and as much as I like you, you don't matter to me right now. You hardly exist. Plus, your wedding isn't for months, and therefore I'm not focused on it as I'm running around checking every last detail for wedding I am orchestrating, TODAY!!!

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Why I'm Dreading the Fall Wedding Season

I'm totally dreading the fall wedding season. I am. I hate that I am, but I really, really am. And, it's not you, bridey. No really! I happen to have a fantastic "crop" of brides for the fall months, but I'm feeling like the amount of details required for some of these over-the-top shin digs is more than I feel like orchestrating. See? For once, it's not you, it's me! (Wow! I think that is the first time I have said that phrase, and actually meant it!) Call me lazy, call me over indulgent, call me a bitch, call me what you will... And you know what I'll say? You're absolfuckinglotely right. I am all of those things right now.

And because it's me and not you, bridey, I thought I would give you a few pointers or ways to help me help you. Holy shit! Does that even make sense? Whoa... See what I mean? I'm a fucking disaster right now! Clearly, I need help, and I need you to give it to me. Here's how:

1. Send me one email. ONE. UNO. UNE. Not 25 stream-of-thought emails. Consolidate, bridey! If you need to "remind" me of something or share something super important, that's great! But, please don't email me (or text me) everytime that little light bulb goes off in that bridey head of yours. ONE email will do... Just use some fucking bullet points!

2. Once we've selected your color scheme, and therefore your linens, centerpieces, bridesmaids dresses, etc.... For the LOVE OF GOD, please don't go changing your mind. You know why? Because it sucks!

Bridey, I know that you saw something on Pinterest or at a friend's wedding that "really meshed" with you, but, put it away. We've been there done that, and unless you want to spend a shitload of money redoing all of our hard work and plans (plus an additional "pain in the ass" fee for me), then simply appreciate the beauty in what you saw elsewhere, and then forget it!

3. I am not a realtor. Nor am I am not a travel agent. I am a damn wedding planner. And while I can certainly assist your parents in finding their accommodations for the TWO weeks before your wedding, I cannot be responsible for solidifying the details and signing the short term lease. I mean seriously... Why the fuck are they coming two weeks ahead of time anyway?!!

4. Don't plan your bachelorette party too close to the wedding. I need you to BE at the final meetings with your vendors, and by BE, I mean be present. Don't come all hung over, or tired or whiny... Because this is your last chance to make changes before the big day, so I need your full attention. Got it?

5. Please, bridey... Don't include me in your fights with your sig other. Somehow this always happens the closer we get to the wedding and while I pretend I am a therapist, it's only pretend. I am not licensed and it makes me super uncomfortable. 

Okay... With all of that said, I feel better. All you have to do, bridey, is follow these teeny tiny rules and perhaps I will make it through the fall wedding season. Okay? Oh... Stay Bitchless!

Image via Ducky-Bob's