The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Whose Wedding is it Anyway?

The other day, I received an email from a really cool, recently engaged bride. And as excited as she is about being engaged, she's totally lost and a bit discombobulated as she begins her wedding planning journey. Her main obstacles? Well, just like most newly engaged brides, she needs to find her bearings; she feels lost as to where to begin with the wedding plans. And, on top of that giant obstacle, she's missing her amazing mom (she passed away sometime ago) who, "... was a great visionary artistically and would have been so helpful and well, it is what it is. Not complaining, just a little anxious I guess." (OMG. Sniff. Sniff.) Finally, my girl is literally all over the map when it comes to a location for her wedding as she finds herself worrying about her guests making the trip. WOW. I can totally see why she's feeling overwhelmed. Did I mention that she wants a fall wedding. OF 2016?!! Oh dear God!

Okay... So, let's take a deep breath and start at the beginning, shall we? You're engaged! YAY! It's so exciting, and overwhelming at the same time. In-between looking down at your ring every five minutes, and all of the congratulatory FaceBook notifications, it's awesome (but, in the frightening way). Seriously, with every admiration of that FAB engagement ring, inevitably the next question is, "When are you getting married?". Right? RIGHT. And, it feels like it should be so easy to plan a wedding because there is a shitload of advice and "how to's" out there about where to begin, right? Right. So, what's the problem? Well, not all of the advice out there is good advice, and considering that the majority of you are new to to wedding planning, it's tough to decipher what's good, and what's crap.

It's funny to me, because you know what's missing from all of that "expert" wedding planning advice out there? The one BIG, yet extremely simple question whose answer will act as your wedding planning guide? Hold on... Allow me to step onto my soapbox... Ready? Ahem... "What is important to you (and your sig other), bridey?" PERIOD. Easy, right? I mean, whose wedding is it anyway? It's YOURS! So, own it like you would anything else in your life. Take a step back and ask yourself what's most important. We pretty much ask this question while tackling any other obstacle we take on in our lives, yes? So, start simply. Ask yourself what's most important, and you'd be amazed at how quickly the rest will fall into place. 

Getting back to my overwhelmed, missing her mom, on the never ending road trip to finding the best wedding venue, bride? Obviously, I asked her what is most important to her (and her sig other), but I also suggested that she let go of the bullshit. Stop trying to please everybody because it never works. She and her man have been to several weddings, across the country (and world for that matter), so to get sidetracked on location because you are being considerate of your guests (is nice, but...) is a roadblock. So, get rid of it. You've traveled the world for your friends and family, and they will either do the same for you, or they won't. Of course, you hope that everybody on your list will attend your wedding (even in Timbuktu), or most everybody, but even if you had it in your backyard, bridey, there are no guarantees, so let yourself off of the hook.

No matter how long your mom has been gone, planning a wedding without her still hurts. And, while there is nothing I can say to take that pain away, what I can do, is suggest is to subtly include her memory into your planning, and into your wedding day. Bridey, how you choose to do this is personal and will be different for each of you. Just be careful not to get overly indulgent, and remember that your mom would have wanted you to be happy while you plan and also on your wedding day.

Bottom line? Planning a wedding is exciting and overwhelming. So, when in doubt, just ask yourself, "Whose wedding is it anyway?"

Image via Little Vegas Wedding

Real Wedding Wednesday... Truly A Blushing Bride

I am so thrilled to present this wedding to you brideys! Not only are the photographs fantastic, but the bride and groom are super cool! I love their story, and I love how the bride was able to completely depend on her groom to get shit done for the wedding when she was busy dealing with a crazy work schedule. If that's not a sign of a stong relationship, then I don't know what is!

Um, all I have to say is wait until you read question number 7! I asked Rory, the bride, if anything went wrong (that she was aware of) at the wedding, and I, me, Bitchless Bride, the honest chick with a trash mouth, BLUSHED as I read her response!!! Let's just say that when a priest uses the word, "penetration" during the ceremony, it gets awkward! I can only imagine how it felt for the bride and groom (not to mention all of the guests!). 

You all know that I am a sucker for cotton candy, and I am so impressed with the bride and groom for having some fabulously, sticky yumminess prepared to order at their wedding! So... please sit back and enjoy the story and the beautiful pictures and VIDEO! Yup! There's a lovely video for you to watch too! 

1. Bridey, how did you meet your spouse? (The short and sweet version please.)

We met my freshman year of college almost 20 years ago. He was a sophomore. We ran in the same circles, but never dated. There was always an attraction, however, and we managed to keep in touch over the years and through different cities and other relationships.

2. How long were you together before you were engaged? 

We got together New Year’s Eve 2008 and we got engaged three years later.

3. What was the length of time between the engagement and the wedding?

About 8 months.

Rory + Corey Wedding Highlight from Sugar Farm Productions on Vimeo.

4. Where did your wedding take place? (venue, city and state) 

The wedding took place in Emmitsburg, MD at St. Anthony Shrine. We held the reception across the border in the Pennsylvania countryside at my husband’s parents’ property on the Conewago Creek in New Oxford, Pennsylvania. We hosted an outdoor reception with a tent on the lawn at the height of summer.

5. If you had to rate your wedding planning experience on a scale of one to ten with one being shitty, and ten being awesome, how would you rate it? 

I would say about an 8. . . I had a great time, but it came at a very stressful point in my career.

6. What was your favorite part of the wedding planning process? Least fave?

My favorite was creating a binder full of inspiration tears from magazines and online research, picking the color palette and the overall theme, which for us was “The Gilded Garden-Party”. I would say my least favorite was budgeting. I have champagne taste and we were paying for most of the wedding ourselves. . . I really wanted to serve great food and wine. In the end I was able to do so with some really great (friend) connections! As for décor, I was able to rely on the natural setting. . . All the greens of the lush countryside. . . it was so beautiful.

7. Did anything go wrong (that you were aware of) at your wedding? If so, we’d love to hear about it. Allow us to learn from you, bridey! 

Pressure… Pushing down on me…

First of all, please tell me you know that the title of this post are lyrics from David Bowie & Queen’s “Under Pressure”? Well, if you don’t, then we can’t be friends… Just kidding, but definitely click on this link and educate yourself on being cooler. Not to mention a much cooler bride….

Anyway, I want to have an honest conversation with you bridey about the pressure surrounding your wedding planning. If you’re recently engaged or have been in the midst of your wedding plans for some time now, then you are probably coming to realize that there is a ton of pressure encompassing your wedding plans. And you know where the majority of the pressure comes from?

Limit of Two "Bride Freak-Outs" for This Stress-Free Bride

Happy New Year Brideys!! I'm so excited for the upcoming year! To those of you recently engaged brideys (like over the New Year and/or Christmas), CONGRATULATIONS! And to those of you more experienced brideys, enjoy this spread! But, no matter how long you've been engaged, and what stage you are in with your wedding plans, I suggest paying close attention to this wedding because I'm REALLY excited to show it off to you today. Cassandra is a fabulous example of a cool DIY bride who remained calm when things got hot. 

First of all, I love Cassandra and Josh's love story. It's really awesome when two people who've known each other for a long time finally realize that "the one" has been in front of their face the whole time! Opps! Sorry to give it away, but I'm a bit obsessed! Right? Secondly, not only is Cassandra GORGEOUS, but I cannot get over her dress... Seriously. And DAMN, this chick has some AMAZING legs! 

Finally, I have a deep respect for any bride who recognizes that wedding planning has the ability to be a bit stressful, and then limits herself to a maximum of TWO "Bride Freak-Outs". Hell yeah! She simply got it out of her system, and moved forward. TOTALLY my kind of bride! 

1. Bridey, how did you meet your spouse? (The short and sweet version please.) 

Josh and I met at our university's freshman orientation. 

2. How long were you together before you were engaged? 

We had been friends for years before we ever started dating, and once we were, the engagement came pretty quick - about 7 months. 

3. What was the length of time between the engagement and the wedding?

6 months! 

4. Where did your wedding take place? (Venue, city and state)

At the Showalter's Estate in Olympia, Washington.

5. If you had to rate your wedding planning experience on a scale of one to ten with one being shitty, and ten being awesome, how would you rate it? 

It was definitely a ten, but I had one day when I thought it was a one. (; 

6. What was your favorite part of the wedding planning process? Least fave?

I loved doing everything on my own; all of the crafts and decorations were such a great way for me to calm down and really appreciate the wedding to come. My least favorite part was two weeks before the wedding when our original venue fell through, I was a wreck and really had no idea what I was going to do but obviously everything ended up working out perfectly. (:

7. Did anything go wrong (that you were aware of) at your wedding? If so, we’d love to hear about it (and maybe even see a picture?). Allow us to learn from you, bridey!

I would definitely recommend doing pictures before the wedding! My hubby and I wanted to keep things traditional and not see each other before the aisle, which meant pictures had to be done after our "I do's", and that cut into valuable reception time. By the time we had finished taking all of our pictures, a lot of our guest had decided to leave which was kind of disappointing. But, the pictures were really important to both of us, so it was something we were okay with in the end because now we have these beautiful captured moments of us on our special day that we will love and cherish for the rest of our lives. 

(I'm DYING over this kiss!!! )

8. What was the biggest challenge you faced from the moment you were engaged to the day you walked down the aisle?

I can't help but laugh at this question now that I can look back on everything. Josh and I spent a good portion of our relationship long distance; he was in South Carolina and then Arizona while I was in Hawaii this past year. Our engagement happened while both of us were home for Christmas and the New Year, and afterwards we were both off to our opposite sides of the country. So, the biggest challenge for us was trying to plan our wedding long distance, with hopes of it being in our home state. That meant I was left trying to do most of the planning over the phone, online and with tremendous amount of help from my mom because I wasn't able to physically be in Washington to visit places or plan hands on. Luckily, I made it back to Washington about a month before the wedding, and was able to plan things out in person!

9. What advice do you wish you had before started planning your wedding?

I think the most valuable piece of advice I was given was by my mom. She reminded me everyday that this was my special day and no one else's, to plan it how I wanted it, to not get stressed out by the little things, and enjoy every moment because before I know it the day will come and go. 

10. Looking back, would you have done anything differently?

I don't think so, I'm so happy with how everything turned out. 

11. Bridey, please provide the most valuable lesson you learned while planning your wedding.

I limited myself to two "bride freak-outs", and they were both done in the comforts of my own home where no one had to deal with me but me. Being able to cry over everything at once, by myself, was better than freaking out on an innocent bystander who doesn't deserve that kind of emotion. And, it was rewarding to hear from everyone what a calm and stress-free bride I was. 


Industry Folk (AKA Vendors):

Venue: The Showalters Estate
Food: Smokin (Also operated by the Showalters)
Florist: DIY
DJ: iPod!!!
Hair and Makeup: DIY
Dress: ASOS

Because There's Nothing Better Than a Stocking...

I know you girls are probably thinking that there definitely IS something better than a stocking, but I'll tell you why there's not... Wanna a secret? A ton of my brides get engaged on Christmas, and you know where the ring is usually hiding? Yeah, in the stocking. So don't knock it wanna-be-bridey.

But, please... Don't be upset if your dream engagement doesn't happen on Christmas Eve or Day. The way I see it, one of two things are happening here:

The Happiest Place on Earth... A Super Gorgeous Disney Wedding

First of all, I am completely OBSESSED with Mindy's wedding dress and shoes! WOW! I mean... If you know me at all, then you know that I love pink, and this dress and shoes... I can hardly contain my excitement!

Now that I got that out of my system... I think it's really too bad... I feel like when people hear that a couple is choosing to get married at Disneyland or Disneyworld, they throw some serious attitude. They don't get it. I mean... How could two adults get married at a place typically reserved for children? Why would they want to have Mickey and Minnie Mouse at their wedding? Isn't that childish? And the worst part? They do NOTHING to hide how they feel when the bride reveals her venue. Honestly, that's just bad form. Mindy took some serious heat from people, but it wasn't from her family and friends, it was from opinionated assholes online. 

Family Management 101

I kinda can’t believe that I even have to write about this, but there is a disturbing new trend in fucking wedding la la land that is really bothering me. This message is for you, bridey… Tell your family that they don’t belong at your engagement! Tell them to stop. Right now. Because it is not appropriate for them to be there the MOMENT you get engaged. Literally. The moment. ‘Cause when your man builds up the courage to ask for your hand in marriage, it should not turn into an open forum for your family to take over