wedding day

The Truth Hurts Tuesday Why Each Day After Your Wedding Is a Gift... Perspective Is a Bitch!

***In case any of you missed my article on Huffington Post last week... Even my mother commented that this post tapped into "the deeper side" of BB. ***

I am absolutely heartbroken and angry as I read about the most current shooting in San Bernardino. Actually, more like fucking pissed off and on the verge of hysteria, and I know I'm not alone. The statistics are staggering, the loss of life, absolutely heart-wrenching. This type of shit is becoming commonplace, almost expected, and it's frightening. And, if you're like me, you squeeze your hus and your kids a little bit tighter after each of these horrific events, praying that it doesn't continue to metastasize and spread to you and your loved ones.

What does the San Bernardino shooting have to do with planning your wedding? Quite a bit, bridey. It's called perspective. And, as I have said a million times, perspective is a bitch! Perspective sucks. Perspective hurts. But, perspective is necessary. And unfortunately, it's times like these where perspective comes in, shakes us to our core and (hopefully) snaps us the fuck out of our selfish little worlds, forcing us to appreciate what we have been given. Life. Marriage. Family. Friends. Notice how I didn't say "wedding"? I said marriage. And, marriage is a whole hell of a lot more than one day. It's work, it's difficult, and it's wonderful all wrapped into one.

Bridey, contrary to what some may think, I love weddings. I love everything about planning a wedding and seeing it come through to fruition. I love what weddings represent. I love that outside of your funeral, your wedding day is probably the only time in your life that everybody you love will be under the same roof (morbid, but true). But, what I hate about weddings? Narrow-minded bullshit. Bitchy brides who completely lose sight of why they are getting married in the first place. Brides who get so wrapped up in the wedding day, that they forget about life afterward (and during)! There IS life afterward, remember?

It's disgusting that shit like a soulless, cowardly shooting forces us to take a hard look at our lives and reevaluate our priorities, but that's usually when our greatest epiphany presents itself.  And planning your wedding? Well, it should be fun and exciting, but your epiphany should be the person you are going to marry. Each day after your wedding is a gift! I mean, how cool is it that you have a partner for life? Right? It's fucking amazing! It's exhilarating! It's awesome! And, you're amazingly lucky because sadly, fourteen people died on Wednesday, and many lost their partners. Feel that? That pit in your stomach? Focus on that, not your "perfect" wedding day. Your wedding day doesn't really matter in the scheme of things, it's how you live each day after your wedding that counts.

So, bridey, the next time wedding planning feels overwhelming or things get stressful, remember the outcome. Remember that at the end of the (wedding) day, you have a partner for life. So, cherish it. Enjoy it. Hold on to it. Because the day itself represents the future, and we are all incredibly lucky to still have one.

Image via DeviantArt

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Bridey, Did You Know You're My Only Client? Oh Wait...

Why don't you just lift your leg and pee on me? Huh? What the fuck are you talking about BB? Well, I'm talking about how territorial brides become once they secure their wedding vendors. Seriously, it's like they literally become bitches (in the doggie sense of the word), claim you as their possession once they pay the deposit, and piss all over you. I swear, the wedding industry is the only industry where this seems to be the case, and where vendors work super fucking hard to make brides feel like they are in fact their only client...

I mean, can you imagine if this was acceptable or the norm in any other industry? Clients becoming jealous or needy because their hairdresser has cuts hair for some other chick, or that their real estate agent shows houses to other potential buyers or their project manager manages other projects? Yeah... wouldn't happen. It needs to stop. And now. And, the more I thought about it, the more it bugged me that this is the norm, so I thought I'd try to get to the bottom of why most brides seem to hate the idea of their wedding vendors having other clients... So, here are the three big ideas I had as to the reasons behind this craziness, and some ideas as to how we can fix it. Ready?

1. Exclusivity... Or lack thereof... Bridey, your wedding vendors have other clients, and you feel as though it somehow minimizes the enormity of your day. You're not the only one getting married. Yikes! Did I hit a nerve? In fairness, we all love the idea of exclusivity, and you are no different. So, if your vendors have other clients who have hired them to do the same thing, then you are not feeling the exclusivity you want and need to feel. Am I getting warmer, bridey? Look, I get it, I really do, but at the same time, bridey, your vendors having other clients won't make your wedding day any less special. You hired them because they are fantastic, so knock off the cray cray and let go of the drama.

2. Jealousy. I think jealousy should be considered a four letter word. Right? I mean, there is nothing worse than a jealous woman (sorry, true story!), and more than that, a jealous bride (oh dear God!)! Bridey, if you're worried that the more clients a vendor has then the less they care about you, you're coo coo. But, it happens! I once had a bride tell me that she felt like I was cheating on her (openly) when I mentioned that I was off to an appointment with another bride after our meeting. REALLY? Bridey, it's amazing, but your vendors do have the capacity to love and adore all of their clients. Well, the ones worth loving and adoring. So BE one of those clients and drop the jealousy routine. It's super annoying. 

3. Entitlement. Bridey, you're spoiled. You're used to being number one all of the time, and you hate it when your vendors have the audacity to put another bride before you. Why can't they make time to talk to you everytime you call? Why can't they meet you as often as you would like? Why don't they seem as enthusiastic as you do? Well, usually it's because they are working with a client (or several clients) whose wedding is before yours. Like, well before yours. Like a fucking year before yours. When you take a step back and look at the big picture, it makes sense, right? The best part? Your time will come too... Just be patient.

So, the message here? The big secret? Bridey, you're not my only client. If I am any good, I have lots of clients. So, please, go pee somewhere else.

Image via Scientific American

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ A Bride's Tale of a Sexless, Shitshow of a Marriage... The Grey Area Between Cold Feet & Doubt

Gimme my soapbox because this girl is going to do a li'l bit of preaching today. And bridey, I'm not preaching about being a bitch while planning your wedding or the 5 "must haves" for your perfect wedding day because what I am about to share with you is much, much more important. It's about doubting your way down the aisle; knowing that each step closer to the altar is a step closer to your imminent divorce. Forget Canon in D, bridey... Your head is blaring Beethoven's 5th Symphony. Your head is screaming for you to turn the fuck around and make a run for it because it's much easier to skip the wedding than file for divorce.

Bridey "B", an old friend of mine who I've recently reconnected with, told me a story so juicy, so meaty, so, dare I say, messy (keep reading) that I immediately dropped the plan for today so that I could share her story with you. Our conversation began innocently enough... A few pleasantries, a few compliments, but, when she said that "...after marriage #1, which was a total shitshow for 10 months, I took a break from boys until I met superman", I couldn't shake it. I HAD to know more. Why was her first marriage such a short shitshow? What made the new guy "superman"? So I pressed her, and found out...

BB: "Question... Did you have a big, glamorous wedding with husband #1?"

Bridey "B": "Yes. Ritz Carlton ridiculous." (I KNEW it!! Total mask for the doubt!)

BB: "Did you KNOW it wasn't right when you walked down the aisle?"

Bridey "B": "Absolutely. I was like, 'All marriages have problems. I can handle the ones in store for me. I know this man.' Then he shit on my couch. Literally."

BB: "O Mothafuckin' G!" (Like you wouldn't say the same thing!!)

Bridey "B": "I could go on. He just felt like since he worked from home, clothes were optional, and toilet paper was too." (Brideys, to the outside world, this dude is impeccable! He works for fancy firm as a fancy consultant. Just sayin'... Definitely not the kind of guy one pictures doing what he did to that poor couch!)

**After a few more graphic details about the poop incident, I asked about when/how they met and some details of their relationship.**

Bridey "B": "He asked me for a cigarette. I gave him one... The sex was great. We traveled to far countries and ate at really fancy restaurants, and then one day, he decided that he didn't want to have sex; he was depressed."

BB:"Um, whaaaaaa? Dear God! Sex would have helped!"

Bridey "B": "We were already living together. I was already 30. I thought it was a phase. Turns out, he was having sex, but with strippers." (She didn't find this out until after the divorce.)

BB: "OMG!"

Bridey "B": "So, I married this guy who was my best friend, who wouldn't have sex with me, but that's okay, because sometimes couples don't have a lot of sex, right? My mom said, 'It sucks now, but when you're older, you'll be glad he's not chasing you around with handcuffs and lube.'" (I totally peed a little when she said this!I love funny moms!)

**Bridey, they were together for 6-7 years before they got married. Crazy, right?**

Bridey "B": "But, you know what happened. Brides get caught up in being brides and they're too scared to turn back." (No shit. No pun either.)

BB: "Yup! And then in retrospect... Would have been a lot easier."

Bridey "B": "Hard to tell whether you're going through a cold feet phase, or whether it'll work itself out in time or whether you're marrying a guy who will shit on your couch in six months." (BHHHAAAAAA!!!! I guess you never know!)

Here's the thing, bridey, you must listen to your gut (preferably before walking down the aisle to Canon in D) no matter how uncomfortable it may be. And, it will absolutely suck. And, it will absolutely hurt. But, marrying the wrong person sucks worse. My friend, Bridey "B"? She told me that the man she is with now, "superman", is the complete opposite of the asshole she married. Why she refers to him as superman? Well, "he would rather listen and learn, than fight." Plus, he's not fucking strippers or shitting on the couch... Always a plus!

In September of 2013, I wrote Let's Call the Whole Thing Off... How to Cancel Your Wedding (and Survive), and for good reason... Bridey, if this story is hitting a nerve, then do something about it! Because that pit in your stomach? It's not cold feet, it's doubt. And, I know it's super grey, and sometimes more white or more black, but, bridey? If you don't want to skip your way down the aisle, then it's not forever... TRUST ME! And, I know it's fucking scary. But, you are strong, and better to end it now then waste your life with somebody who you know isn't right for you. 

So, dig deep, read my "how to" on cancelling your wedding, and then go find your superman! Got it?!!

Image via KiKi & Tea 

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Don't be a Bitch on Your Wedding Day! 6 Tips to Get Rid of the Bridey Bitch!

I've written quite a bit about how to not be a bitch while planning your wedding, but it dawned on me that I haven't really touched on why it's so important not to be a bitch on your wedding day. Bridey, I think it's safe to say that your wedding day is filled with a tangled web of emotions; happiness, elation, excitement, fear, anxiety, etc.... All perfectly normal... And, sometimes when we're filled with that kind of emotion, it's easy to go one of two ways... Euphoria or bridaldemia, and it's up to you to choose the better of the two.

The reason I'm mentioning this? Well, after an extremely busy weekend filled with two weddings, and everything you can think of in between, I realized that my very lovely brides each took on one of the two aforementioned emotions. And, frankly, I was shocked. Both were super detailed oriented, although easy to work with during the wedding planning (they must be avid readers of BB), and both had relatively supportive families. So, what made one bride go batshit crazy on her wedding day and one continue to be her fabulous self? THAT is a good fucking question!

And while I don't have the answer, I can tell you who had a better wedding day experience. If you guessed bridey B, then you guessed right. Bridey B was relaxed and happy. She took in each and every moment of the day, totally let go of "wedding planning mode", and slipped into something much more comfortable, her wedding day. While Bridey A was argumentative with anybody who dared crossed her path. Honestly? It was strange; something I didn't see coming based on our planning experience.

So, bridey, I got to thinking about what can we do to alleviate Bridey A from presenting herself on your wedding day, and here's what I came up with: 

1. Alcohol. Just kidding!! Well, sort of... I hate to admit that it was the first thing that came to mind! However, if you are careful not to get piss drunk, then there is nothing wrong with a cocktail as you are getting ready to walk down the aisle. Just be sure to nourish yourself with delicious food and plenty of water, and surround yourself with your favorite ladies!

2. Timing is everything. As a planner, I build a TON of extra time into the getting ready piece of the wedding day. I do this because inevitably there is always something (or someone) who will throw you off track, and there is nothing more stress inducing than being late. So, give yourself a lot of extra time.

3. Breathe. Seriously. What's done is done, bridey, so freaking out about the details on the day of your wedding will get you nowhere. Simply relax and breathe. Remember, that at the end of the day (quite literally), you will have gotten married to the man (or woman) you are going to spend the rest of your life with, right? How awesome is that? YAHOO! So, don't allow your anxiety and nerves to win. It will show through in your photographs, and for what? Shit that won't matter...

4. Let it go. Oh dear God. UGH! I just started singing that fucking song...

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Wedding Planning... It's Only Temporary, Bridey

I had brunch with a close friend of mine recently, and this chick? Well, she's pretty fucking KICKASS!! And not because she's the CEO of some company or because she's got her shit together, but because of her perspective, bridey. You know, my favorite word in the whole wide world! PERSPECTIVE!! They say that you never know where your inspiration is going to come from, and let's just say that today's post hit me like a ton of bricks. You see, my kickass friend? Well, she's going through some awful shit these days. I won't get into the gory details, but it seems like all of the craziness is happening to her all at once. You know the saying about how shit happens in 3s? I seriously think this is her fourth or fifth. And instead of wallowing in her sorrow (which I would probably succumb to myself), she just keeps casually uttering, "It's only temporary." Wow. So simple, yet hard to do...

As a wedding planner, I've watched some pretty cool girls get rocked by their wedding planning simply because planning your wedding and real life are oftentimes a tough mix. But, as I listened to my friend say that, "It's only temporary", it kinda got me thinking about her healthy outlook. Instead of slipping into a dark place and lashing out at her friends and family, everyday she rises above how she feels, and looks forward; something that I think is really hard for all of us to do. How do you fit into this, bridey?

Well, if you look at planning your wedding as something that is only temporary, adjust your perspective (during the particularly difficult times like dealing with family dynamics and budget constraints) and realize that a year from now, life will most likely be totally different (depending on when you are getting married) then you too should be able to utter the phrase, "It's only temporary." The key? You'll actually have to adjust your thinking and believe in that statement. It won't be easy and it probably won't alleviate the stress and bullshit you are dealing with instantaneously, but it has the power of preventing you from getting in your own way, and rising above...

 

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ 5 Ways to Show Your Bridesmaids the LOVE!

Bridey, there's been some serious hype about the awful way brides treat their bridesmaids these days. So, after the millionth story I've heard in like two weeks, I thought I would throw in my two cents because I just can't stand it anymore! The problem is, is that I could probably throw in a fucking dollar, and nothing would change. Because this seems to be an ongoing dilemma. A dilemma that doesn't change no matter what anybody says or writes or who says or writes it! So, let me give it another shot.

Back in February of 2013, I wrote about how to keep your bridesmaids happy, and now I have a little more to add. This time I will keep it simple so maybe it will sink in:

1. Throw a bash! Bridey, once you have asked your girls to be your 'maids get everybody together, and have a little party. Perhaps some of them don't know each other or know each other well? Then this is a perfect way to introduce them. Party with them, drink with them and have fun together! By the time your wedding rolls around, these chicks will be psyched to see each other which will make your day even that much more exciting! (Even better? Invite the groom and his men. One of my clients met her hus-to-be at an initial gathering of the 'maids and men! True story.)

2. At your big bash, ask them what they'd like to wear on your big day. That's not to say that they can have carte blanche, but let them know that their opinion is valuable and important, and then work around their feedback. After all, they are (most likely) paying for the dress! At least give them a shot of being able wear it again! (Best way to do that? Little black dress, baby!) 

3. Accept them for who they are. Perhaps one of your girls is rockin' some crazy (awesome) hot pink hair or a new tat or a shaved head? Bridey, I know it's killing you, but don't say a fucking word about changing their appearance. Leave it alone. You asked them to be in your wedding, and they are supporting you, so it is only fair that you support their choices too.

4. Want the girls to look their best on your wedding day? Then it's up to you to pay for their hair and make up services. Bridey, they've dished out a ton of moola to be at your wedding (um, the bridesmaid dress, shoes, shower, shower present, bachelorette party, etc...), the least you can do give back. And while you're in the giving mood, I hope your girls enjoyed the bridesmaids gifts you gave them (something super personal, and thoughtful, right?)! 

5. Get crazy with your girls! It's your wedding day! Have some fun! Order some champagne, and some food and enjoy this time with your 'maids. Focus on losing the "stress" and just have a ball; let go. I mean, you're surrounded by your best friends, getting all dolled up and you're getting married!!! Holy shit!! So, lose the stress and enjoy it!

Brideys, I know that you picked these particular girls for particular reasons, right? Right. When your big day has come and gone, I'm guessing that you'd still like these girls in your life, correct? Well, then it's up to you to take care of them the way you're expecting them to take care of you.

Image via StyleSizzle

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Five Ways to Avoid Being a Micromanager on Your Wedding Day

Bridey, I can handle a lot of things, but the one thing I cannot stand is to be micromanaged. Period. So, please don’t micromanage me. And please don’t micromanage your vendors. The funny thing is that I’m not talking about now; the wedding planning process. I’m talking about on your wedding day. Seriously, don’t you have enough on your mind? Like, oh, I don’t know… your wedding vows, your reception and how basically every single person you love will be in the same room at the same time… That’s a big deal, bridey. HUGE actually, and I hate to say it, but that will most likely only happen one other time in your life. Yeah, I’ll let you figure that one out yourself.

As I was saying, this is our job. We, your vendors, do this most every weekend throughout the year (more or less), and hopefully you will only do this once. And when you take a step back, who has more experience? I’ll give you a hint, it ain’t you babe! So, please, just enjoy your wedding day because not only do you deserve to be utterly happy, but we have worked incredibly hard making it happen for you.

Look, I know that it’s easier said than done, so I thought I would give you a few pointers on how to prevent your bridey ass from turning into a micromanager on your wedding day:

1. I know this is simple, but just resist the urge to micromanage. Every time you feel it bubbling up, think about the big picture and all of the professionals you have hired to do their jobs. Bridey, you are not on the clock today. You should literally just sit there looking pretty and enjoying yourself.

2. Remember how I said that you hired professionals? Well bridey, give yourself a round of applause because there is a reason why you hired WHO you hired, right? So let go of all your Type A mannerisms and allow said professionals to do the job you hired them to do.

3. On that note, let them (your vendors) do their job their way. Perhaps you’ve dabbled in photography or were an MC in college. That’s great, but please don’t begin suggesting amazing shots that your photographer just “has to take” or making turntable recommendations to your DJ. They’ll figure it out! They always do. Bridey, unless there is something specific that you forgot to communicate to one of your vendors or the venue prior to your wedding, ease off and just relax!

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ I'm Not Going to Say, "I TOLD YOU SO!!!!"

Yeah, I'm feeling kinda ranty today. Honestly, I'm fucking exhausted. I'm so tired of being the shrink, mediator, personal assistant, and hand holder. This wedding season has been awesome and brutal all at the same time! Seriously, I feel completely bipolar because one day, I am absolutely elated; lovin' life and my clients, and the next, I am down in the dumps wishing I had a chosen to do something else with my life. Something that didn't require so much brain power; something where my "product" wasn't dependant on people and their ever-changing ideas and opinions.

This wedding season, I've had some truly amazing clients who really understand that there is life beyond their wedding day, and then I've also had some clients who are so self absorbed and seem to have some serious issues with sharing. That's an odd thing for me to say, huh? I guess it is... Why don't I explain with a story...

Recently, I worked with a client who was absolutely OBSESSED with the fact that her gorgeous and extremely popular venue had the nerve to have another event booked in their ballrom prior to her big day. Outrageous, right? I mean, how could they have the audacity to maximize their profit on a busy Saturday in June? Yeah... hoping you're picking up on my sarcasm... Anyway, almost every single conversation we had either started with or ended with a diatribe, asking me if "I could believe that they had another party ending so close to the beginning of her wedding." Perhaps I am somewhat immune to a tight turn (meaning that the venue and vendors have a short period of time to flip an event space from one party to the next), but a two hour window is nothing; easy peasy. In fact, there are plenty of us (vendors, wedding planners, etc.) who have turned a room in an hour! But, no matter how hard I tried to explain this to my client, she would not HEAR me. And goddamn if I wasn't annoyed.

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ How to Get Your Mom to Stop Texting on Your Wedding Day! Whaaaa?

Every now and then, I get an email from a distraught bride fretting over such a universal topic, that I feel like I would be missing out on an opportunity to educate all of you brideys, so today I am sharing it on Bitchless Bride. Below, you will see an email which I received from "Bridget" regarding her mother's obsession with her iPhone. Bridget is asking for some advice on how to handle her MOB's addiction with said phone, and wants to be sure that mama is present, both physically and mentally, for the big day. 

I am getting married in about six weeks. While my mother and I don't have the perfect relationship, she has been phenomenal through the planning process. She has kept her personal opinions to herself and aimed to give my fiance and I the wedding we desire. She has been key to planning the event from 1,500 miles away.

The problem? My mother is addicted to her iPhone. She is constantly texting, emailing, Facebooking and often during very important times. Much of this is because she runs her own business and doesn't have normal hours (I am sure you can relate), but she has yet to set boundaries. For instance, when I come home to visit, she is often on her phone during family dinner and movie night. I am afraid my wedding will be a victim of her addiction too.

I am very worried that my mom will miss a momentous event in her and my life because she is so concerned with taking pictures she can text or post to Facebook. She has worked very hard and waited a long time (8 years of us dating) for this day and I want her to be fully present. I know I can't tell her what to do, not that would I consider that, but is there a tactful way to let her know I would like her to be engaged in the day and not so concerned with her virtual presence?

Thanks,

Bridget

Dear Bridget,

My very first thought, is that while it would be inapprorate to tell her what do to, you certainly CAN tell her how you feel. You don't have to be nasty about it, bridey, but you should definitely have a candid conversation about how you are feeling.

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ I Should Have Been an Attorney

I'm thinking I should have gone to law school. No really, I should have. I come from a family of attorneys and judges, and going to school for food science and pastry was probably not what my folks had in mind for me. Although, they always supported my originality (particularly around food... I used to dye my hair with fucking Kool-Aid! Oh, and it worked!), I would be making piles and piles more dough, and then I would feel more comfortable charging by the hour.

Some event planners DO charge by the hour, and I am strongly considering changing the way I structure my business and getting on board with the whole charging by the hour thing. Because some of you brideys really take advantage when it comes to air time. If I divided what your wedding is worth to me from a dollars and cents standpoint, by the number of hours spent with you, on your behalf or on the phone with you, I would DEFINITELY be making more money if the clock started running the moment I said, "Hello." Harsh, but true. Would you feel as comfortable pouring your heart and soul out to me or dwelling on some very small stupid detail if you know that each minute was going to cost you $5? I don't think so. I think you would most likely curb the bullshit, get to the point, and move on. Right?

Yes, I love what I do. Yes, I care about what you think. And, yes, I do like you, bridey. But, sometimes I feel like you need to consider that time is money, and that I am a business; no matter how small or how personalized, I do what I do to make money. Don't you? So, when you keep me on the phone stuck on something that we have discussed over and over again that won't make a fucking difference in the overall scheme of your wedding day, it's all I can do not to reach over and grab the egg timer. I mean it... Go talk it through with your fiance or best friend, because at least they can drink when they are with you, and politely (or maybe not so politely) tell you to stop obsessing over the small shit, and focus on the enormity of what a wedding means.

Bridey, all I am saying is to please be mindful of your wedding vendors. We are too polite to tell you to shut your mouth, but our time is just as valuable as yours. So, put a sock in it, or I'm gonna break out that egg timer.

Image via Pokerati

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ Don't be a Bitch! Keep Your Consultation Appointments

Written by The Other Hot Pink Planner

Dear Brides,

As vendors we absolutely love scheduling consultations because to us, it means that people interested in our services and we get excited to meet with a new bride and/or groom! Actually, we love them so much that we offer FREE consultations for our clients (just so you know, not every vendor offers a free consultation, and now I can now understand why)... so when we offer FREE consultations, we greatly appreciate that you hold your end of that bargain and make it to your appointment, and on time. If you're not going to make the appointment, with respect for the other party involved (aka, me, your vendor) please call to say you won't be making it (with more than 20 minutes notice).

You see, many of us don't have a store front (which is how we are affordable to you) therefore we don’t have set hours. This makes it easy for us to schedule and work around YOUR schedule and therefore putting our personal and family time on the back burner. So, please, brides and grooms, if you schedule a vendor consultation... Please don’t just NOT show up! If you found a different vendor for the service, fantastic! We completely understand and are happy for you! But, please respect our time and call to cancel rather than just not show up.

The truth? It sucks because just like you, we have lives. We have families. But what we don't have? Time to spare! So, be considerate to others, especially your vendors (and your potential vendors). Just because you are a bride doesn't give you the right to be inconsiderate! You're not the only ones in the world getting married. You aren't better than the next bride, and you don't get special treatment because you're getting married! And bare in mind, if you chose to have a no call/no show to a vendor appointment and you happened to really like that vendor's work, don't be surprised if they're now 'booked' for your wedding day.

(I HAVE to add my two cents... The other side of this equation? Make an appointment with your vendors. Don't just walk into a hotel, florist, DJ, etc. and think that because they are in the service industry, that you will be seen, and immediately. Just like you, your vendors maintain a schedule, and also schedule appointments with other brides. I mean... Would you ever just walk in and expect to see your dentist or doctor? Probably not, because you know that they don't give a shit that you were "just in the area"... So, let's go back to the basics, brideys... PHONE FIRST!!)

Thank you, 

The Other Hot Pink Planner*

*Check out another vent from The Other Hot Pink Planner here

Image via Become a Top Wedding Planner

The Truth Hurts Tuesday ~ I Wish I Was Still on Vacation

I wish I was still on vacation. I wish I still had a cold drink in my hand, and the smell of sunscreen soaking into my skin. Ahhhh... You feel that? Who's with me? Right? Ugh. And then reality hits... HARD. Instead of sipping that delicious cocktail, I'm sitting in front of my computer wishing the first email I came back to was telling me how wonderful I have been to work with, not "Now that you're back from your trip, there is a lot we need to discuss..." Fuck me... C'mon...

The truth, bridey? I didn't miss you. Not. One. Bit. Because I was busy taking care of myself (for a change); my needs. I was planning what I was going to do the next day, not obsessing about the intricacies of how many steps it is from the top of the aisle to the alter or if, "it'll look weird if I wear my wedding band on my right hand before we exchange vows." Really? 

Real Wedding Wednesday... Truly A Blushing Bride

I am so thrilled to present this wedding to you brideys! Not only are the photographs fantastic, but the bride and groom are super cool! I love their story, and I love how the bride was able to completely depend on her groom to get shit done for the wedding when she was busy dealing with a crazy work schedule. If that's not a sign of a stong relationship, then I don't know what is!

Um, all I have to say is wait until you read question number 7! I asked Rory, the bride, if anything went wrong (that she was aware of) at the wedding, and I, me, Bitchless Bride, the honest chick with a trash mouth, BLUSHED as I read her response!!! Let's just say that when a priest uses the word, "penetration" during the ceremony, it gets awkward! I can only imagine how it felt for the bride and groom (not to mention all of the guests!). 

You all know that I am a sucker for cotton candy, and I am so impressed with the bride and groom for having some fabulously, sticky yumminess prepared to order at their wedding! So... please sit back and enjoy the story and the beautiful pictures and VIDEO! Yup! There's a lovely video for you to watch too! 

1. Bridey, how did you meet your spouse? (The short and sweet version please.)

We met my freshman year of college almost 20 years ago. He was a sophomore. We ran in the same circles, but never dated. There was always an attraction, however, and we managed to keep in touch over the years and through different cities and other relationships.

2. How long were you together before you were engaged? 

We got together New Year’s Eve 2008 and we got engaged three years later.

3. What was the length of time between the engagement and the wedding?

About 8 months.

Rory + Corey Wedding Highlight from Sugar Farm Productions on Vimeo.

4. Where did your wedding take place? (venue, city and state) 

The wedding took place in Emmitsburg, MD at St. Anthony Shrine. We held the reception across the border in the Pennsylvania countryside at my husband’s parents’ property on the Conewago Creek in New Oxford, Pennsylvania. We hosted an outdoor reception with a tent on the lawn at the height of summer.

5. If you had to rate your wedding planning experience on a scale of one to ten with one being shitty, and ten being awesome, how would you rate it? 

I would say about an 8. . . I had a great time, but it came at a very stressful point in my career.

6. What was your favorite part of the wedding planning process? Least fave?

My favorite was creating a binder full of inspiration tears from magazines and online research, picking the color palette and the overall theme, which for us was “The Gilded Garden-Party”. I would say my least favorite was budgeting. I have champagne taste and we were paying for most of the wedding ourselves. . . I really wanted to serve great food and wine. In the end I was able to do so with some really great (friend) connections! As for décor, I was able to rely on the natural setting. . . All the greens of the lush countryside. . . it was so beautiful.

7. Did anything go wrong (that you were aware of) at your wedding? If so, we’d love to hear about it. Allow us to learn from you, bridey! 

Super Stylish Sunday ~ Bow Ties are Super Cool

Honestly, when I think about bow ties, the last think I think of is how super cool they are. Right? Actually, considering how many weddings I have planned, you'd think my mind would go straight to boys in tuxedos, but for some reason I always flashback to my childhood and I end up picturing Mr. Rogers singing, "It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood..." And he didn't even wear a bow tie!! So, I thought I would try to adjust my thinking, and perhaps your thinking too, by showing you some kick ass ways to incorporate bow ties into your wedding and still be cool! Ready?

I mean... Seriously, it helps that this is an amazingly gorgeous bride next to her really hot husband, but check out his fantastic bow tie! He is rockin' that bow tie so hard without rockin' a traditional tuxedo. Just look how fantastic they look together!

In case you haven't noticed, emerald green is in... All you have to do is look at the picture above to see that you don't have to be a professor (circa 1950s) to wear a bow tie. I also completely love that the bride is wearing green shoes! Right? And seriously, just look how handsome this hipster model looks showing off his very pensive, very serious look. I dig it.

There is so much you can do with a bow tie outside of wedding attire. Just look up or down at these cool photographs.... If the ideas aren't flying into your pretty little bridey head, then I suggest you keep on reading! There are invitations, menus, programs, décor... The possibilities are endless!

How could I resist this awesome Lego bow tie? I am DYING at how cool it is... Or the box of the velvet bow ties? Or the patterned ties? The options are endless, and so not boring! Talk about making a statement...

Brideys, I bet you never thought about doing your hair like this for your wedding day, right? But, it's insanely fantastic! Who knew? Just look at that perfect bow tie... out of HAIR! And that cake? You know that BB used to do pastry, so when I see a cake like this, I am in heaven. I am completely obsessed with this cake.


Brideys, I hoped that this post has helped you see that, "Bow Ties Are Cool"... Because they really are, right?

Photo Creds: {Striped Bow Tie via Emmaline Bride, Photo by erin hearts court}, {Bride w Red Hair & Hus via Sugar & Fluff Design House, Photo by Joielala Photography}, {Bride w Green Shoes & Groom w Green Bow Tie via BurdaStyle}, {Hipster Model via Boys in Polos}, {Polka Dot Bow Tie on Chalkboard via Glitter Weddings}, {Orchid Bow Tie on Charger Plate via Pamela Scott Photography}, {Black Bow Tie on Gold Charger Plate via 100 Layer Cake, Photo by Ben Q Photography}, {Black Invitation via Wedding Paper Divas}, {Menus via Seattle Bride Mag}, {Lego Bow Tie via Mashable}, {Velvet Bow Ties via EdiTORIal by Tori Spelling, photo via Jen Huang Photography}, {Cool pile of Bow Ties via Zelma Rose}, {Yellow Bow Tie on Yellow Charger Plate via Wedding Vibe}, {Awesome Bow Tie Hair via Hair and Beauty Tutorials}, {"Bow Ties Are Cool Photo via Hot Topic}, {Amazing Yellow Cake via Charm City Cakes}

Bitch! You're Fired!

I am so fired up today. Seriously, sometimes I just want to throw in the fucking towel and scream "WE'RE THROUGH! YOU'RE FIRED!" Can I do that? Can I fire this bridey bitch? Because after an insanely frustrating year and a half of planning, I am spent. I honestly don't feel like I have it in me for another two months... And as we draw closer and closer to the wedding, I am at such odds with myself. I feel like the crazy one because although I am happy to see her wedding day come and go, in the meantime, the endless diatribe of bullshit gets bigger and bigger because she is JUST SO STRESSED about her fucking wedding. Really?

Fool Me Once, Shame on You; Fool Me Twice, Fuck You

So.... remember that post BB wrote as a my OWN vendor vent? You know, the one about how I got fucked over in front of my client when one of my vendors didn't show up for an appointment? Well, all of the feedback I received on BB and via my personal contacts said to give him another chance. We all agreed that because he was protecting existing business (he had to deal with an issue that would have effected the success of a wedding he had that evening, and therefore he did not make our scheduled meeting), then you HAVE to take care of the business you already have versus potential new business.

Stay Together... Not Just Forever

I woke up incredibly annoyed this morning. I don’t really know why, but I am, so bear with me as I write what will probably turn out to be more of a rant than a post. You see, I’ve been thinking a lot… too much actually about what I do for a living and how people who are not in “the industry” ALWAYS glorify what my job is really like. People constantly say that I should write a book based on how much crazy shit I have seen and continue to see at weddings. And you know what? Instead of a book, I prefer the Bitchless Bride blog. Because with this blog (I thee wed… HA! Sorry! It was there, so I took it!) I am able to educate you brideys and still reap the cathartic benefits of writing (which I desperately need today). But at the same time, your education is IMMEDIATE and free. And here’s another educational series for you to digest as BB continues to educate you on bitch prevention, and this time it’s about staying together.

Venue Ready?

It’s fucking 9 AM. Why is this day different from all other days? On all other days we go about our business, but today it’s 9 AM on your wedding day (for those of you who caught onto my “spiel” good for you!). You wake up, announce to your bridesmaids sharing your honeymoon suite, “Oh my God! It’s my wedding day! Let’s go check out the space!” STOP. Stop right there.